tonight i feel like kafka

marketing guy: hmmm yeah we need to make vodka soda branded as “gay water.” make sure the packaging looks like diaper packaging.

other marketing guy: maybe we should add funny little stickers, like–

Abuse is a choice because your actions are your responsibility. Each abusive action is something you could choose to not do.

"Abuse is a choice" doesn't mean that abusers are necessarily thinking of their actions in terms of abuse. (I'd argue that most abusers do not think of themselves as such.)

It doesn't mean abusers are necessarily thinking about the harm they're causing at all, or even that they're always aware on any level that their behaviors are harmful.

What it does mean is that if you are harming someone, that's your responsibility. You are deciding what actions to take, and you chose actions that harm someone. Whether or not you stopped to think about that fact doesn't erase your choices.

It's everyone's responsibility to make an effort to treat other people with care and respect, and if for any reason that's hard for you sometimes, it's still your responsibility to find ways to handle that situation without harming others.

Abusers aren't a specific "type" of person. They don't have some Makes You Abusive Disease. They're just people who are taking advantage of and sometimes creating power imbalances, in order to relate to others in a way that benefits them or that they enjoy or feel more comfortable in.

They are not always doing this consciously, but that doesn't mean it's not a choice.

Because they have the option of figuring out how to be kind, and they are ignoring that responsibility.

Somewhere I read that a symptom of autism/ ASD is a tendency to feel victimized. Feel. And I couldn’t get that out of my head because there is a difference between saying that and saying “a tendency to be” victimized. Saying “feel” carries the implication that the victimization is in one’s head. 

There’s probably a reason people with ASD feel victimized:

1. Autistic children are more likely to be bullied. 

2. Autistic children are more likely to be abused.

3. Autistic children are more likely to experience sexual abuse and the abuse is less likely to be recognized because symptoms of being abused are often misinterpreted as “normal” autistic behavior. 

4. Autistics are more likely to be sexually assaulted because they are often taught compliance from a young age in therapies like ABA.

[Edit with more links on this topic]: Info On Autism & Sexual Assault Personal Essay On Why Autistics Are Vulnerable ABA Teaches Compliance Not Consent

5. Autistics are more likely to be unemployed.

6. Employers discriminate against autism, autistics are more likely to be bullied by their coworkers, and many autistics lose their jobs because of it.

7. Schools find loopholes to discriminate against autistic children. 

8. Autistiscs have a higher risk of experiencing police brutality. 

9. Autistics are being murdered by their own caregivers, and the murderer is often given a lighter sentence because the victim was viewed as a burden.

10. Autistics suffer because they are not given effective medical care.