Just Writing Things

1.Huxley

2.Euston Ricc

3.Pegasus therapy

4.Port Hills Car Beautiful View

5.Strathfield 6mo Rugby Swastika

6.Hagley Ave John

7.Tyrrtwo bloody St Alb.

8.Cameron Rollie

9.Martial Arts Alex

10.Armagh gawd his saliva tastes bad

11.Mark the redhead

12.Nathan Rollie

13.A from Richmond

14.Mays bought gin

Three boys are playing hide and seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners and Shutup (I know! Just go with it). A quick game of paper scissors stone settles who’s in to start and then Manners and Shutup make themselves scarce whilst Trouble grudgingly starts to count to fifty. He had called out best of three before he lost no matter what the other two said.

Shut-up and Manners come across one of Shutup’s favourite hiding spots, and before Shutup is any wiser Manners is scrambling up into the dense foliage of the Maple. Shutup knows he has little time to spare now so he goes for the next best thing; a rubbish bin that’s been left out on the pavement. It’s one of the only ones left out on the street since collection was gone half a week ago, but Shutup is hoping this is because the owners have forgotten to wheel it back in and not that they’ve gone on holiday and have left it out early!! Fingers crossed Shutup opens the bin and hops in letting the lid fall shut over his head. Only it doesn’t close. He looks up and there are fingers holding the bin open. Which, that’s cheating because Trouble can’t have counted to fifty and had time to make it around the block could he?

The hand flicks the lid open revealing a man dressed in navy uniform, cap and all looking down on Shutup. He is far from impressed with Shutup’s hiding spot, which is slightly insulting since Shutup is the best person at Hide and Seek he knows.

“Get out of there kid,” his voice sounds annoyed. Shutup is annoyed that he’s now going to lose to Trouble, of all people!

He puts on his Sunday best face dimpled cheeks and wide innocent eyes, “I was just looking for something I’d misplaced, officer! Honestly didn’t mean to fall all the way in,” Shutup lets out an embarrassed laugh.

It’s not that he thought his excuse would work but the coppers face doesn’t even minutely change. He obviously saw Shutup climb in.

Shutup resigns himself to being dragged to his parents for a stern talking to. (His face never works on them. And now not with the officer… Maybe he’s losing his touch?)

And if that isn’t a terrifying enough thought the next words that come out of the cops mouth are:

“What’s your name boy?”

Shutup hates this question with a burning passion. But he doesn’t let any of that leak into his voice or face as he responds truthfully:

“Shutup”.

The officers face screws up even more as he knew it would, “What did you just say to me?!”

If ever there was a time steam could actually come out of someone’s ears it would be now. I mean the guys face is turning purple for godsake!

“Tell me your name this instant!”

“Shutup”

Ok the face isn’t changing anymore, but that might be even scarier especially since his voice comes out calmer now: “Where are your manners boy?”

“Manners went and hid up a tree, sir.” Shutup gives him a small smile.

There we go, full on violet now. “Are you looking for trouble?”

“No, Trouble is looking for me!” He’s ready for the grab, neatly sidestepping and then legging it away from the officer and away from where Trouble was counting and probably having a laugh with Manners about this whole mess. Why oh why did he and Manners decide to rig the Paper Scissor Rock match??

Today I bought a Ford. I had been meaning to buy some mode of transportation for a while, so finally I just went out and splurged; bought the first thing on wheels that I fancied and now I have a brand new Ford Shelby GT 500 convertible. The thing is though, that I may be now second-guessing my choice. Not regretting it per se but definitely maybe questioning it. It wasn’t the money I’d spent, no that could be paid off if I went to work for a couple of weeks, but while I had been at the car dealership I’d noticed all these odd car brands which I had never heard of, and then there were the scooters and cool-looking motorbikes with their Japanese-sounding names like Kawasaki and Suzuki, which again I didn’t recognize. The weird bit is that a few minutes ago I had been watching CNN when during one of the commercial breaks my car appeared on the screen! It was not the exact same shade, nor was it the same model, but it was a Ford (and a convertible.) It all just made me feel positively philosophical.

I was pondering this coincidence as I watched Adam swimming slowly through the fronds in his tank. Adam is a Black Phantom Tetra, which sounds formidable but really he wouldn’t hurt a phytoplankton. I bought Adam at a pet show where, swimming amongst the butterfly weed and coral ardesia, there were thousands of kaleidoscopic fish. They had been darting in and out of miniature shipwrecks, having numerous marathons across the tank and many had been head-butting the glass. But it was the vulture-like Phantom’s that caught my eye; they had just looked so evil in with all the mayhem, scouring the waters and eyeing their prey, that I just had to have one. Of course the vendor had been all smiles: “Yes, they’re very fierce sir. No, they aren’t carnivores, but if I valued my fingers I’d keep them away just the same!” I bet he’d had a good laugh.

Scanning my living room I could see countless other purchases that I knew I hadn’t needed at the time. They littered many surfaces and would have been very dusty if Berta didn’t come in once a week. There was the lamp I had gotten free when I bought an overpriced, wholly unremarkable, chair, which wasn’t even comfortable, let alone earned its keep in any special way. It was just a chair that I now used to...er for… sitting? And the lamp, that has a hideous mud-green lampshade, just sitting on a side table; I very much doubted whether it was even plugged in. What about the TV, with its twelve different speakers meant for surround-sound home theatre entertainment and all the special features the salesperson had kindly added on for minimal cost; it sure made watching the news a whole new experience!

Adam was looking at me now, staring really, not that fish can do anything else. Perhaps he was hungry, though he did have plenty of food available in the tank. I realized that he had been moving forward when he bumped into the glass and one of Newton’s laws caused him to ricochet backwards. I envy Adam, I really do. I mean he gets to live in a beautiful aquarium in which everything is taken care of for him. He has all he needs to live… all the food, all the resources. The environment in the tank is kept at a balmy 310C and is free from pollution and predators. Adam doesn’t have a job, doesn’t have responsibilities, and doesn’t have free will. Though he’s probably freer than I am.

I guess one of my responsibilities is Adam and the world he lives in; I make sure no harm comes to him – like that time I stopped the neighbor’s cat with a skillet. I also provided Adam with a mate. Another Black Phantom Tetra, although Eve is slightly prettier: more silver than black. Together they live happily in their own little Eden while I’m stuck outside awkwardly reclining on an armchair the color of fresh sludge.

An important scene in the film The Truman Show, directed by Peter Weir, is the bridge scene. In this scene the viewer is privy to a conversation between Truman and Marlon which reveals the extent of Christof’s manipulation. Weir causes the reader to see that what Christof is doing is wrong by creating strong emotions in the viewer about the issue of ‘an individual’s right to his or her own freedom and privacy’.

The opening shot of the bridge scene is a high-angle, establishing shot which immediately sets the scene of an unfinished bridge to nowhere surrounded by shrouded construction-site-like equipment and materials. This bridge is symbolic of how Truman cannot escape the isle of ‘Seahaven’, and of how his life is controlled. Christof controls Truman by forever creating boundaries that contain him, like how Christof manufactured Truman’s fear of water and similarly how there is this bridge which has all the connotations of a ‘bridge’ (being meant for the purpose of overcoming a physical obstacle) and yet here Christof has left it unfinished showing that Truman has yet to overcome his greatest obstacle and to step over the threshold to his freedom and privacy.  

The high camera angle that Weir uses to portray the bridge show to the viewer that Truman is very vulnerable and powerless. He is depicted as the image of forlorn with his shoulders drooped, head bowed and legs’ dangling over the edge and this causes the viewer to see just how helpless he is, and to empathize with him and against Christof. Truman is convinced that “the whole world revolves around” him and communicates this to Marlon. He is genuinely asking Marlon for advice and the viewer can see just how uncomfortable Marlon feels answering him insincerely. Weir has the character Louis who plays Marlon act as if he is actually Truman’s friend by shifting his eyes and pausing often as if overcome by the real emotion of guilt as he reiterates the lines he is being fed. This indicates to the viewer that something shady is going on and during a really intense part of Truman and Marlon’s conversation Weir confirms these suspicions by cutting back from the highly moving scene to the control room where Christof can be seen relaying what Marlon must say. Weir does this to instigate strong feelings of contempt and disgust in the viewer towards Christof as he is the evil director forcing Marlon to lie to his best friend and causing Truman to get watery-eyed as Marlon blatantly lies to him saying “and the last thing that I would ever do…is lie to you.” These strong emotions towards Christof are created in the viewer as Weir causes the viewer to have compassion for Truman by portraying him as a victim with no real friends or family and as a human being who is clearly not being granted his right to privacy and freedom.

This exploitation of Truman’s rights is further developed by Weir’s use of lighting in the bridge scene. Blue-filter lighting is applied to give the whole scene a dark and gloomy mood and this combined with Weir’s choice of natural sound effects make the viewer feel as if they are intruding on a private conversation. Truman and Marlon are all alone having a quiet conversation and yet Truman is never alone, which Weir doesn’t ever hesitate to show to the viewer. By creating this irony between the mood of the scene and the fact that the scene is not private but is being broadcast to over 100 countries, Weir encourages the viewer to consider that maybe what Christof is doing is wrong: if the viewer feels like they are intruding in this particular scene then what are the millions of people who watch him brush his teeth and make faces in the mirror doing?

And that's the end, friend!

After a while, crocodile. (2)

Better shake, rattlesnake. (10)

Better skadoodle, poodle. (11)

Better swish, jellyfish. (7)

Brush your teeth, Keith!

Bye-bye, butterfly. (12)

Bye-bye, French fry!

Conserve it to preserve it.

Chop chop, lollipop.

Ciao for now, brown cow. (8)

Crisscross applesauce.

Don’t be silly, wrap your willy.

Don't panic, flight mechanic.

Easy-peasy lemon squeezy!

Finders keepers; losers weepers.

Good-bye, house fly.

Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. Alright?

Gotta go, buffalo! (5)

Gotta run, skeleton. (9)

How now, brown cow.

If you wish to live and thrive, let a spider run alive.

In an hour, sunflower. (3)

In it to win it.

It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He went to bed, And bumped his head, And couldn't get up in the morning.

Keep it in the tub, Bub.

Know what I mean, Jellybean? 

Later tater!

Learn as you earn. = sixth year

Liar liar, pants on fire, nose as long as a telephone wire! (”Your trousers are alight”)

Maybe two, kangaroo. (4)

No way, José.

Ok, croquet.

Okey dokey, artichokey.

Out the door, dinosaur.

Que te pasa, calabasa?

Rain, rain, go away, Come again another day. 

Rise and shine, porcupine. /hedgehod ;)

Rope is thicker but string is quicker.

See you later, alligator. (1)

See you later, calculator! (legit said this to lent maths device)

See you soon, baboon. (6)

See you soon you big baboon.

Shuffle your feet, lose your seat.

Snug as a bug in a rug with a mug!

So long, King Kong.

Star light, Star bright, First star I've seen tonight I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight. 

Take care, teddy bear.

Tie your shoe, kangaroo!

Toodle-loo, kangaroo.

Uh oh, spaghetti-o!

Use it or lose it.

Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey.

Wakey wakey, hands off snakey.

What do you know daddy-o?

What’s cookin’ good lookin’?

What's shakin', bacon?

What's the deal banana peal?

What's the deal, Batmobile?

What's the plan, Stan?

What's the story, morning glory?

What's the word, hummingbird?

What’s up, buttercup?

What’s up, rubber duck?

Why so glum, Chum?

Why so sad, Chad?

You booze, you lose.

It ended with one of those conversations. The ones where you tell them how a bunch of their little things have added up and the sum is that you no longer want to be with them. They don’t believe you, so you say far more hurtful things. But their resolve is almost admirable ?, yet another facet of their person you will miss. It hurts but you push on. They deny every statement you come up with and you’re grasping now. “I think I might be gay” gets laughed at, which, that’s a little insulting. You have one card left, but you really don’t want to play it. It won’t be true. It could never be true (’but you’re only thirteen!’ you tell yourself as you promised you would whenever you even thought about them, exclamation point included.)

“I don’t love you”. It shocks them, that was the intention but what you see in their face is also realisation, and no, no, NO. You do love them, please don’t believe me. You didn't believe a quarter of the stuff that just came out of my mouth when half of it was actually true. I was annoyed by the way you squeezed the toothpaste in the middle. I would have liked it if my soul mate detested dogs as much as I. But it was also nice to have a protector against those fiendish canines, and those little quirks are all part of why I loved you. Are, present tense. Please don’t leave me. But you keep your face stoic, you won’t cry, you never do. They look at you and you feel your heart break in perfect reflection of theirs. You see the tears form and you yearn to wipe them away. To take back everything, to do anything just to make them not sad once more.

“I never loved you either.” And they turn and go.

You didn't understand how they could take you at your word when you blatantly lied, but your whole world shatters with those five words.

Questionably Creepy Quartet

Terror Square

Gruesome Twosome

Awesome Foursome

Lonesome Onesome

Golden Trio

Terrifying Triplet

Partners in Crime

Petty Pirates

Laughter Partners