on thoughts and stills

Hola! It’s been a awhile since I actually did some real ~blogging~. I decided to wake this part of me up again since I’ve been wanting to have an avenue to really express what I feel about some things. Sure, there goes Twitter, IG Story, Snapchat, and all other real time platforms, but nothing really beats having to read and write without character and time limitations. :) (And let’s be real, you can’t be as intimate on Facebook anymore, lol)

Meanwhile, here are some major life updates!

Update # 1: I turned twenty and I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree. Finally out of uni! Haha. It is a major cliché to say this, but my college years have been the craziest four years of my life. It’s not even enough to say that I learned SO much -- but I really did.

I learned not just from my academic training, but also from tons of failures that I couldn’t keep count. It challenged me on so many aspects--spiritual level mostly. But as the author of my current favorite book, Kristen Welch, has said: “If it were easy, I wouldn’t need God”. She was right. College was the time I had clung most unto God. I was vulnerable and what kept me going was holding on to the fact that my God is stronger and that the battle is His. (Greater is He that is in me than he than is in the world)

When they tell you college is tough yet fun, it is true, and here goes the fun part: Having the privilege to meet a number of wonderful people. My blockmates (who btw are the most supportive and helpful peeps ever), my professors, all the people with the most inspiring stories, and of course, this family -- my organization. 

These people are some of the most creative, passionate, and talented people I have ever met. Sometimes they just leave me in awe of how they work. Don’t get me wrong though, being in an organization isn’t all fun and games because I tell you... it wasn’t entirely so.

I’ve told you about college being challenging, and as for me, half of it was probably because of this org. Not even kidding. Having to lead this organization was just too much for me to handle, especially as someone who has been nurtured inside her comfort zone for years. But for some reason, I had to say yes.

And to be completely honest, there were times that I wanted to quit. Badly. No one in my team knew it, but there was just something in them that continued to inspire me not to. So, after a year of anxieties, keeping up with the deadlines, dealing with different organizations and individuals, fighting for a teammate who wanted to leave, failing, and disappointments, you ask, ‘was it worth it?’...

Looking at the photo above, I could say... yes. It might not be easy but in my pocket I got tons of memories and learnings, a lasting friendship built, one award, and zero regrets. Of course it was all worth it. 

Update # 2: I started to read again! Yay. Finally having that time in my hands to invest on reading more books. And I’m so glad that I’m having that luxury again to go out (and go off of social media) just to read a book.

For the month of July, I’ve had the following:

- Rhinestone Jesus by Kristen Welch

- Ask Me Anything by J. Budziszewski

- For my daily quiet time, I’ve been following a Paul’s letters series. (I’m at Romans 14 as of today). I started to journal too! :)

Update # 3: I’m currently on my journey of conquering hormonal imbalance so I started to take pills.

I was so afraid to do it at first, but what made me to finally do it are the worsening hormonal acne breakouts and the visible thinning of my hair. I am hopeful! I pray it’d get better and I’m hoping I could post (positive) updates regarding this journey.

(Breaking my hiatus. Hello!)

This year has been really significant for me. This is the year I ended probably two of the most dramatic phase of my life: My teenage and college life.

So, in celebration of that and my 20 year existence, here are 20 takeaways:

Self-care and Balance. It sets the line between hard work and straining yourself.

Being organized is VERY IMPORTANT. But it doesn’t mean you won’t mess up. You will, for many times, but it is okay.

You will be worn out but don’t give yourself that as reason to give up. If you’re tired, rest. 

There are people around you who can relate with and understand you. And most of the time, they’re willing to listen.

Coffee is good. But never depend on it.

Spend time with yourself and you’ll be surprised with the things that you will discover about yourself and your surroundings.

Learn to listen to your body.

Spend time with your true friends as you talk about your future plans and long term goals. It’s a really good kind of motivation.

Don’t be afraid to create, and don’t be afraid to call yourself a “creator”. And that goes with whatever context you might wanna take it.

Do what you love. I can’t stress it enough.

Spend time learning that craft that you’ve always wanted to do.

Pour out your time and energy learning different things — and never stop learning.

College is tough, but so are you. (cliché but you’ll need it)

You don’t have to share everything on social media.

Always be grateful and humble.

Give credit to whom it is due. Always.

Don’t feel bad whenever people take advantage over your kindness. You just did your little part to make the world a better and peaceful place.

One of the things the world is lacking is the best thing you can always give: Patience.

Learn unconventional yet very crucial skills: leadership, media literacy, and empathy.

We would hear some people telling you that one of the things to remember in order to survive college is to just be yourself, but I hope you take it from me—Don’t.

If you have been settling on to something mediocre just because you cannot strengthen your potentials for those write ups or assessments given by your professor last semester, don’t.

Do not be yourself if you know you have survived every major exams, including your finals, by cramming and pulling off unnecessary all-nighters just because you didn’t take the time you had weeks before.  

This year, do not be yourself if you are so used of complaining and ranting over Twitter of how unmerciful your professor has been instead of challenging yourself to do better on your tasks and assignments. 

(Yes, it’s my sleeping dog. Lol)

It’s been three years and I have had a few realizations about life in college.

That it is not merely drenching yourself in caffeinated drinks in order to survive a day after pulling off an all-nighter, neither it is the pressure of deadlines and the high standards set by the professors. Although these things make a great teacher in order to discover your strengths, college is also a place that you would constantly find yourself in your most vulnerable form.

But here’s the news: It’s okay.

I learned that it’s okay that you’re not the greatest student compared to what you used to believe during your high school days. I would find myself in the pit of creative dissatisfaction and that I share the same feels with Anthony from That Thing Called Tadhana: “Akala ko magaling na ako”. But I’m glad that I learned that college is about doing your best but not all about being the greatest.

It’s okay that you fail managing your time. Because time is constant and you would not be able to change and manage something as constant as the time. (That’s probably a lame excuse, but hear me out) Instead, I learned to manage my self and so far, it has been teaching me to prioritize. And speaking of priorities, it’s okay to say NO simply because you now have things in lined on your to-do list. Say yes to things that you are capable of doing and those that would make great investment for your future. Beside these reasons, it’s okay to say no because you are not in college to please everybody.

It’s okay to be alone. I am not only speaking through the introvert in me but it really is okay to be alone. On the most practical reason, you’ll most likely be more productive (just without distractions) and actually get things done... And don’t worry, it’s okay if you walk around the campus by yourself, or if you are eating and/or studying alone because unlike what your overly suspicious mind is thinking, no one is judging you. 

With all the tasks written down on our messed up planners, and the countless responsibilities--whether academically related or not-- let us get ourselves that these tough-to-swallow and uncomfortable truths are all part of being on that path to winning. So, cheers :) 

x,