Forthright

Bought a house

Knock knockin

On the door

Crazy neighbors?

I am not so sure

Ganked in the driveway

With a couple of bags

In hand

High anxiety dog

I think his name was Dan

Or maybe John

Sal for sure

Forget the lore

Big brother definitely watching

Gotta be a few cameras

Maybe more

I implore

If I make no sense

Nah…

Forget it

My friends say Jeidk

Everything is copacetic

Text from a buddi

He got a fan

named Billy

It was cool

I called it

Gnarly

Like Hutch and Starsky

I shred the shnar

Shnarski

Charizard

Shnarizard

Pine tar

Mines hard

Far away

Jar jar

Binks

Me thinks

Mr. Mesinks

Stuck in a precinct

Shit stink

Too much fiber

Ginseng

Miss me

Rinsing

Convincing I’m wincing

Jesus

This is twisting

Ha

Like a twizzler

Hot like a sizzler

No Applebees

But I’ll still dap a bee

Happily

Too much tree

Might take a nap or three

No casualty

I do this casually

A masterpiece

No snaggle teeth

Pause yo

This is blasphemy

Like taking a pee

In the dark

Without a light on

Catastrophe

Is it a metaphor

Or a simile

Cuz it ain’t

Methamphetamine

But this is my addiction

And I’m spiraling

Rapidly

Get to know me

Unless you’re phony

Then be gone withcha

Like Charles Barkley

In Space Jam

A wannabe

Roll of bologna

Holy moly

Guacamole

Ha

Todays one of those days

Clouds do part

Still stuck in a haze

Trying to not let the day

Phase me

Kinda hard to do

When shit is constantly

This crazy

Maybe

I said maaaaaybe

I’m the only one

Who can change me

Unlike Wonderwall

Expecting someone else to

Chronically lazy

Sometimes the fare

Needs to pay me

‘Cuz life ain’t been so fair

Lately

Dodgin shots

Except the one grazed me

Jealous of the cows in the meadow

Steady grazing

Mashed potatoes

With some gravy

On the surfboard

They call me Wavy

In the shop

They call me JD

Call me whatever you want

Just don’t play me

As I sit here waiting

For the phone to ring

So I can move along move along

I sing

Idle mind

Devils playground

Overthinking

Puts you in the ground

You asked for a hero

I’m strapped with a cape

Just standing around

Call the bullpen

The starters cooked

The vet on the roster

Can be overlooked

I’m a crook

Cuz I’m about to steal

Home base

The hare

Lost his race

Because of arrogance

Deceit

And a token of good faith

I can be replaced

But those consequences

You’d have to face

I swear

I know what it takes

To be great

A doodled picture

Scribbled by me

Won’t need to be traced

Because I’m laced

With passion

And I’m one

You can’t recreate

On the other side of fear

Is the discovery of truth

And the more removed

You are from it all

The less confident you feel

When you have to choose

Between an Apple pie

Or a piece of poop

It’s wild

What the brain can do

Especially when fed

A shot

Or a beer or two

You think that it makes you loose

But it just masks who you are

Ya dumb fuckin moose

Ha

Bullwinkle

Took a tinkle

Atop Rocky’s head

And sold it as a sprinkle

When it actually poured instead

We used to paint

With lead

Don’t trust a FED

I’m often random

That’s what the streets said

Or that’s what I’m told

By my buddy Fred

Yall remember Fred?

Ladee

Lala

Yall know it’s been said

But I feel it’s worth mentioning

Again

Check out The Leftovers

To find out

What comes next

Buddi bone

Yeah that’s my friend

And this piece

Is coming to an end

To myself

I shall tend

Especially

Now

As I await

For the shackles

To be broken

So that

I may

I didn’t know any Latin phrases

Other than Carpe Diem

Until a prompt was answered

Which learned me a new one

Memento Mori

I clicked the internet

To discover its meaning

Originally thought its definition

To be morbid

But then I considered more

And now I find it

A bit healing

Remember

You will die

The ultimate inevitably

Casually sneaking

Up

Each day peaking

The corner of tomorrow

Alone in sleep

A world so hollow

A tough pill to swallow

Entering this realm

By yourself

Just to exit

The same way

Or is it beautifully

Poetic

I guess it depends

On the day

Memento Mori

Or is it MorE

Spelled with an i

Pronounced like an A

Leave bread crumbs

Along the way

Tell your story

Or let it be written for you

Self reflection the key

To fulfillment

And personal prosperity

If you allow yourself

To discover yourself

Intimately

A sunroom on Sunday

A snapshot of life

Like a Kodak moment

Fully developed

Cutting boards are nothing

Without the knife

I am challenged with this phrase

This piece

And that’s alright

I shall overcome

I’ve done it once

And twice

I hate the word thrice

I prefer noodles

Over rice

Not like noodles

Yanno

Over rice

But like

Noodles instead of rice

Ha

Alright

A little tangent

Straying off the path

Is fine

A metaphor symbolizing life

Lost by day

Found by night

Bound by the sea

Gravity

Moon circling

Earth pulling

Cosmetic divine

Friday night

A glass of wine

Snap the picture

This is life

Memento Mori

An urgent reminder

Of how fleeting we are

A blip on the radar

And not to be dark

But we’re

Far from important

No matter how much

We convince ourselves

Otherwise

Who is Georgie

Without Pennywise

A safer kid?

Still he’d die

Memento Mori

I audio googled it

Memento Mori

Sorry for my terrible accent

Memento Mori

Death inevitable

But only after life

Has been granted

Memorable

Yet

I love walks

But I hate the leash

I have a different squat for poops

Than I do for pee

When you leave

For minutes

It feels like weeks

Then you return home

And I begin wagging

And panting

My version

Of sighing relief

If I’m good

I gets a treat

Just as long

As it’s not chicken

Rotisserie

That makes my tummy

Rumbly

The vacuum is mean

So I bite at its feet

Protecting my humans

Of this loud scary thing

The other dog across the street

Can suck my butt

I’m tired of its barking

I like biiig stretches

And going to the creek

Pitter patter

I click clack

The wooden floor

I love my deer antler

Blueberries?

Not so sure

I tore apart

My one rope

Killed the squeaker

And I smile like a dope

Tongue hangs out

The side of my mouth

Especially after field work

And running around

I chew the grass

Find me a stick

And that’s the last day

It’ll ever have

I’m at the side of the bed

Waiting for you to wake

So that you say

GOOD MORNING

And then pet my head

The corners have clumps of my hair

Sorry

I tend to shed

I’m always curious

Just what’s up

Around that bend

I tend to drip drool

And whenever you stand up

Oh yes I’m in

Full send

I’m a part of your life

But to me

You’re my whole life

I’m here for cuddles

Lovins

And in moments of strife

You could squeeze me

And suddenly

Everything’s alright

Whether I’m a service dog

Or just a regular ole pooch

Catch me at the end of the table

Being a mooch

I love cheese

Hot dogs

Even cold vegetable soup

My sniffer in your face

Awaiting a playful boop

I can be a loose cannon

Runnin zoomies in a loop

I can be a bit of a doof

But you love me

I know you do

And I love you too

Your best friend forever

This is the life of a dog

Now

Time to go

Gas prices increase

Missile strikes increase

Another war yet again

In the Middle East

And for what

Depreciating US petroleum dollar

But we blame the Chinese

Even though it’s just

A chaotic cover up

Making us forget Good and Pretti

While the DOJ

Redacts more of the files, Epstein

I mean

I scroll through my Facebook memories

I’ve written about the corruption

And corporate greed

Since 2016

When the DOC

Chose Hillary over Bernie

And I couldn’t believe

What we were witnessing

Never did I imagine

That it was far worse

Than just electing

A president named Donny

I go swimming daily

As a form of stress relief

But today I swam angry

Angry that I feel bad for complaining

About all this nonsense

But this shit is fucked

to put it plainly

American society

Addicted to violence

Fighting its own sobriety

Needing an intervention

Rehab

And a slap on the hiney

We act so prideful

And exceptional

Meanwhile we’re a hot commodity

Of hot garbage travesties

Electing officials

That align with back door lobbying

And fondle the ego

Of the elites

A rigid dichotomy

Between those on the hill

And those in the field

Living poverty

Impoverished War Machine

The opening track

To my album of spoken poetry

Go take a listen

History repeats itself

The fall of empires

Is rarely abruptly

The rubble comes quick

But the writings always on the wall

We choose to ignore it

Because we lost the ability to read

Or lack the gall

To stop going to work

Which would in turn

Stop it all

2026 is barely breathing

And it’s already toast

Vance and Rubio boast

While the Dems

Let water in the boat

And so we sink

And as we do

We still gloat

“This is the greatest

Best ever sink of a ship

You’ve ever seen”

Can I have your vote

I promise that I’ll patch the boat

Get us new floats

Throw you a life jacket

And give your warmth

With this new coat

Please believe me

I am no phony

Like the other folks

Then come the data centers

Buying up land

Draining water supply

See!!!

No more reason to float

On a boat

No need for a coat

I told you

I’d take care of you

Thank you for your vote

Don’t forget your robots remote

I choke on this iced tea

There’s too much sugar

My teeth are weak

I bite my lip so hard

It is now bleeding

At least I know a mouth sore

Will eventually begin healing

But as for us

As in U S

We will continue stealing

Killing

Dismantling

Destroying

In the name of money

Until there’s nothing left

In the jar of honey

But sticky fingers

And as we linger

Drifting through this rock in space

We’ve soiled our privilege

At a truly astonishing

Rapid, sad, and scary pace

Humanity

The universes grandest

I swam today

and now I am writing

today is already

a good one

2026 I’m welcoming 
or rather

aspiring to be

more in tune

with what I need

to be healthy

Physically

my left shoulder creaks

like it was a 1920s home

with original hardwood

flooring

and I hope with consistency

I can once again

feel like I’m 16

Mentally

I mean

who’s really all there

mentally

especially now

given

everything

such a broad stroke

but seriously

All we can do is try 
to stack small wins

stack em high

like poker chips

but unlike poker

life is rarely a bluff

you must know your hand

and you must play it well

Do not dwell

on those who are infected

with the pessimism disease

do not crack

under outside pressure

do not be anything

that feels inherently wrong

regardless

of who says it’s right

Most of my work is melancholy

or angry

or frustrated

I guess that’s what happens

when you understand

your outlet

But I’m going to exert effort 
to flip that script

but it is difficult

writing with optimism

It was 45 minutes

a couple laps in a pool

a few minutes spent

treading water

the other minutes

divided between

freestyle and breast stroke

the seconds in between

practicing breathing

and slowly stretching

my extremities

I’ve accomplished more today

in the few hours

before I slave away

at my job

to make a pay

to be able to eventually

walk away

when I’m old and gray

but I must make it

to salt and pepper

I can no longer

sit idle

I must partake

in my own health

create the habit

so it stays

I sit in the sun room

it’s frigid outside

but I feel warmth

from the rays

The plants hate

this time of year

and I always fear

when they begin to sag

that they’ll be gone

they really do just look

very sad

I was a lad

who never had

a ficus

but now I talk to one

his name

Leonitis

I just made that up

it’s the creative climate

that I write with

I might just

stop

Even though it feels

like there’s more to say

sometimes it’s okay

to hold tongue

and so I’ll practice that

Another shot

another downed

not here

but there

this time

a northern midwestern town

DJT

three letters

that spell clown

the head of the snake

laying atop

carefully planted grass

a billionaires ground

crack crack crack

gunfire, the sound

reverberating through Minneapolis

another downed

Different than Kirk

different than Floyd

if you’ve chosen

a side of the aisle

either way

you’re annoyed

and while we battle each other

more ICE is deployed

infiltrating our communities

a bunch of washed up Jocks

with nice new

shiny shiny toys

Hidden behind masks

they march our streets

to protect us from immigrants?

Nah

to carry out the wishes

of the elites

history repeats

more will die

there will never be peace

more disease

more poverty

more greed

It wont be until

we realize

we cannot consume money

that perhaps

we can all drink tea together

with a spoonful of honey

Then maybe we’d admit

that those we defend

sitting in congressional chairs

do not care

about me

about you

as long as they receive

the proper cut

of their stocks they share

Corruption on Wall Street

convoluted insurance companies

401k limits

declining social security

the fall of capitalism

knocking on our door step

sending us normies

into depressive states

confined by the mistakes they make

dictated by the illusion of truth

but we all see it’s fake

kinda like

is this item really a cake?

Let’s take the knife

cut it open

and see what’s inside

oh…

…no way!!

just more pesticides

dipped and rolled

in a vat of formaldehyde

we used to be a proper country

we used to at least try

to hide

the lies

Now

it’s just out in the open

like one of them

flappy inflatable wacky tube guys

outside a business

promoting a sale

of artificial preservatives

that give us cancer 
like food coloring dyes

I beg to question

why

am I alive

in this time

but that’s an answerless question

so I let that subside

My heart goes out

to the six year old

now without a mom

to the minorities

who are consistently

and persistently

demonized and wronged

to all of us

who’ve fallen prey

believing our elected officials

have our best interests

when really they just want us

pitted against us

all along

I wish to snap

my fingers

and all this

would be gone

but I am no genie

so I can only move along

and open this note pad

to say fuck all this

this shit is wrong

RIP Renee Good

a soul too soon gone

I’m tired of being told

to fold

when I know

I should have bet

and followed the rhythm

of the thing

beating in my chest

I confide

or rather confess

the deepest parts of me

to those I know best

and yet

it’s often met

with a low tone

and then I regret

A mountain never asked

permission to rise

and the sea didn’t look

for guidance

on where to send

it’s waves

the thaw was friend

and the moon an ally

With so many opinions

how quickly it is

to nullify

another’s passion

surplus amount of food

no ability to ration

I imagine

when John Lennon wrote it

he was captain

of the ship

and his fishermen

backed him

without a second askin

Forever gaslit

N-95 I’m maskin

but the smoke

funnels in

and I choke

and cough

because of the gasses

I am a particle of sand

amongst the masses

wishing I matter

but I don’t

anticlimactic

Like a deck

missing a joist or two

I wish I had

more support

I wish I had

more people caring to check in

instead of having to dial again

I wish my cup

was the one

being poured in

Perhaps I am emotional

today

Perhaps I need a change

of real estate

Perhaps I’ve been created

in pain

And perhaps

that’s where I’m destined to stay

I take the long way

home

sometimes

just to show up at the door 
and fake that I’m okay

it’s just easier that way

nobody wants more negativity

more disdain

we’re already stained

in a variety of ways

I’m afraid

Golly

I really hate to complain

because my version of

of misfortunes

are another’s version

of having it made

I think I was born

to bare the weight

of a thousand souls

to relate to them

like a ghost and ghoul

but it tolls like the bells

and rolls like hills

that end in hell

I am but a shell

of who I can be

I’m a sad guy

who just smiles a lot

coined a death

behind a plot

like Walder Frey

gaining access to Riverrun

because of Robb Stark

whom he betrayed

I suppose every dog

has its day

Black Friday

capitalisms shiny holiday

a haircut delayed

broken lock

I dare say

today

is already shit

So I sit

in this back lot

typing away

before I must go

and slave

only to return

in less than two days

I mumble through my anger

but I cannot shake

my bones vibration

cross contamination conversation

that’s a 3 C alliteration

I don’t have a start

I don’t have a destination

I’m just a vessel for others

molded by manipulation

And I think I’ve finally broken

under all the weight

of which trauma has created

life has continued

and people have elongated

I am noticin

I am devastatingly broken

and scared

I am chokin

on air

no use in hopin

An open door closed

my heart is thumping

I can feel the THC beginning

to course its way

through my veins

I attempt to maintain

composure

for I am fearful

of what may interrupt

this moment

and my desire

to capture

It’s been a bit

for I have been illiterate

well

not illiterate

but away from it

the poetic script

the manuscript

the narrative of my

elongated thoughts

I missed out on crypt

oh what was the name

of that place

Lago Diablo

That’s Diablo Lake

throwing out some espanol

for mi amigos

I go bilingual

y yes

a little bit more

that’s un poco

but I’ve also heard

un pocito

I doubt I know though

much more than Bilbo

did before his hand

touched that ring

My precious

Let me just stare

a bit longer

for I’ve not seen

a sunset so brilliant

so strikingly gold

it’s as if it speaks

to my soul

the presence of your grin

it speaks to my soul

An open door closed

green light means go

caution the yellow

red the stop fellow

I state obviousness

as a self check

on awareness

to make sure

I know where the Loch Ness

put his parrot

before squawking

about three fiddy

to a slug named Jarrett

An open door closed

sike nah it’s just Rabbit

holding a bowl of carrots

hey…

what’s up there young feller

gotta problem

I take care it

Ha

Come watch bait car

I’m serious

he was out at third base

yanno

ain’t life great

I say

Ahoy mate

I used to say mate

a lot

back in the day

where getting caught

with a can of chew

meant grounded for days

and if you lied

more like a month or two

An open door closed

does it really have to mean

anything

An open door closed

it’s a paradox itself

An open door closed

it’s like plan

plan

pllllllan

where words start

to lose meaning

shout out Ted Lasso

you the man

Open door closed

Am I doing this spoken thing right?

God daaaaamn

WOO

Hahahahaha

I feel great when I write

and as I age

I can easier see

the casual Tuesday night

spoken word coffee shop

kinda vibe

and the lights being bright

but the room being dimmer

for I am blind

but I can see

by all things that I can see

I can breathe

by all air around me

I am me

as I am writing

I am free

like a bird

nosediving 
for a fish

I am actually tearing up

for being blessed

with this gift

and I am side barring the riff

to illustrate and depict

that I’ve never experienced this

I have missed you so much

Hahahahaha

Writing

I owe my life to you

An open door closed

a paradox

tucked away

inside the pews

and not the pews

that seat the church

but pew pews

like bullets

that put

hundreds of thousands

of people in the dirt

two sides to every coin

George Floyd

Charlie Kirk

Both lost a life

tragically

sending the masses

into a chaotic whirl

we hurl more hatred

at our neighbors named Earl

dividing us further

kids curled under desks

the masses numbed

numbness

this is all…

dumbness

to look around

at all this mess

for any middle class citizen

to defend the right or left

I mean come on yall

it should be us for them

that’s the difference

there’s too many out there

brainwashed

providing their defense

and by their

I mean the one percent

I love you writing

I love the way you let me vent

An open door closed

fuck those who oppose others

An open door closed

thank ya mam

gimme another

An open door closed

one more time

The questions you pose

already have answers

in your soul

From depths lowly rung

as the bell tolls

to before

when a birth is sold

in between white walls

of a hospital

Life, a riddle

riddled with uncertainty

triggered by anxiety

cellular connectivity

lagging latency

spiking crazily

a heart monitor

racing

it’s the chasing

that gets the blood going

I ask my soul

a bunch of things

or maybe I ask myself

I don’t know

I ask the voice

I hear in my head

as I continue to type this

and for now

I shall deem that voice

my soul

What will be now

as opposed to then

and the voice asks

what was that

say it again

And I say

What will be now as opposed to then

And somewhere down there

…I mean here

I don’t even know

really what I’m saying

Crumble this up

like a rough draft

into a ball

fade away

buckets in the trash

I slash with a pullover

I mean cross-up

I mean no cardigan

call it a pullover

concrete barrier

buy me a bulldozer

as I mull it over

the dirt I mean

I see it

a four leaf clover

Lucky me

It’s a lucky day

I say

once

just to refrain

from stating twice

too much of one thing

is bad

just like crunchy rice

In the cupboard

looking for the spice

that will elevate

this dish

all perfectly nice

but all I got is salt

pepper

I sneeze

my nostrils are clever

they know where I’ll endeavor

as I begin to remember

that one night in December

a feather floating forever 
down I

never

will

forget

that

shot

So many doors

left closed

until they are reopened

maybe just hoping

to forget coping

with what lays

behind it

and face the choking

of emotions

that debilitates

like electric shock

if in the clink

death

has been chosen

I’m roamin

away

I remember setting my preferences

in alphanumerical order

1-6

on the radio

And since then

I’ve not heard a peep

I try to tune

I press seek

But the numbers

keep spinning

Until eventually

I want to write

A spoken word piece

That falls off my teeth

In a way

That is synonymously

Stereotypical

Of all of the videos

I’ve seen online

Showcasing slam poetry

Except I’d have to twist it

A bit

And squeeze it like a lemon

And make it a bit lemony

But not like snickett

No this is no travesty

But I need a theme!

Ahhhh yes

A THEEEME

Every good spoken piece has one

A theme

Isn’t it weird

How when you repeat

A word

That it begins losing

It’s meaning

Theme

How do you even spell that

Theme

Theme

Theeeme

…

Theme

Anyways,

Where was I

Oh yes

A theme

I think for this piece

I will choose rhyming

Because

Well

That’s my comfort zone

Inspiration came to me

When I was washing dishes

And I thought of where I’m from

And that being Wilkes Barre/Scranton PA

Where we have a town spelt like Throop

But it’s pronounced Troop

And where we go to duh batroom

And if you’re eating eggs in the morning

I’ll have a couple two tree

It’s hennabonics

And that’s the grand ole NEPA

Theme

We love drinking

And banking

And fried foods

That cause heart disease

And Mohegan Sun gambling

An isolated demographic

That is riddled with addiction

And corrupt politicians

With corrupt policies

Don’t ever forget

Mark Ciavarella

And his kids for cash scheme

I sit awaiting

This tri tip hoagie

From one of my favorite joints

Suraci’s

And I pick up this piece

Where I left it yesterday

And my eye is twitching

It does that from time to time

Kinda like when biting into a lime

After a shot of Cuervo

I find

That salt on the rim

Doesn’t do much

Of anything

Besides make me feel

As though I swallowed

A bit of the ocean

Oh how I love tequila

And how tequila loves me

So I steer clear of it

And defy NEPAs grandest notion

Alcoholism

I’ve survived the cataclysm

That was my upbringing

At least thus far

And I couldn’t imagine

Where I’d be

Without Jerry and Nancy

And Kylie

And Carrie

And my friends

Surely I’d been dead

Already

However I still breathe

In the land of Wyoming Valley

And I have seen

A great many things

A great many places

And I remind myself

That I can continue

To ween

Off of nicotine

Even though

My brain tells me to succumb

To its whispers

And buy another can

Daily

I want to write a spoken word piece

But I need a theme

Theme

Theeeeme

Yes

A theme

I say this to myself

Before I begin typing

But really

I just put whatever

My fingers tell me

I am a rhymer

Who likes rhymes

And rhyming

Like a monkey

I am climbing this figurative tree

Hoping to find berries

That would provide

Vitamin C

So that I can begin

Wound healing

I want to write a spoken word piece

That encapsulates me

And as that sentence forms

I am once again receiving

A spam caller

Calling

One of my biggest pet peeves

How did we get here

As a society

I sigh deeply

The time for work is creeping

And like a fisherman’s hooked line

I must begin reeling

Even though my passion

The used to call me

Sticky D

behind the wheel

of the Saturn

shifting

five speed

Up Larksville mountain

and back down

yet high as a kite

rounding bends

like Ricky Bobby

in Talledega Nights

Dip in the lip

that I just poached

from behind the counter

at Heffron’s

a menace

that can do no wrong

sippin tea

ooooooolong

Good golly me

who’s in the back seat

prolly

scruffy puppy

bone buddi

and maybe Kleech

I reach for the stick

stop quick

pause for a spit

hawk tuah

ahhh shiiiiit

that ain’t it

fuck that bitch

sike nah

I kid

it ain’t her fault

she became famous

In this society

we praise ignorance

and belittle intelligence

like a souvenir bandit

catching stray cats

and feeding them

cat nip

Drugged and crazed

lost and gazed

hazed by insufferable

people

and yet

expected to behave

a certain way

I remain the same

because those

who imitate

are unsure

of themselves

and I forbid that notion

to be entertained

Forget the dragon

to be slain

I am the dragon

remember the name

it’s Jdav

with a capital Jay

a lowercase D

But don’t get it twisted

it’ll tickle the inside middle

of your moms belly

Ha

Ego aside

I am Ron Cheese

comin atcha raunchy

like Willy

I get a little Wonky

bitches call me daddy

as if I owned a donkey

sike nah

I am just flaunting

just wanting

to be heard

ya heard

random but valid

fuck Colin Cowherd

I swear that dood

ain’t nothin

but a spike-less spur

Anyways

back to the original programming

I swerve

now I see lights

because I had a padiddle

and now my friends

are being cuffed

I get patted down

no officer

no drugs on me

I bluff

I felt bad

as I drove off

leaving the rest

of my friends

in the dust

but I didn’t sip

from the bottle of lust

‘twas a lesson learned

for all of us

Fuck the police

no justice

no peace

I’m the souvenir bandit

fresh off the leash

I yearn to sink

my teeth

into the bullshit one percenters

neck

the few

the proud

the corporate elite

I swear I’d bite

off their teet

and smear the blood

across my teeth

and smile

as I watched it

drip from my canines

as I laugh menacingly

Hahahaha

Wow

I say to myself

I speak

to myself

I keep

to myself

I seek

to seem

myself

I believe

in nothing

but authenticity

They used to call me

Sticky D

I’ve since buried

the Saturn

the Malibu

the Altima

and left a joint

behind the seat

of my moms Jeep Liberty

And when she showed me

I took it

and went to the tracks

down the street

broke it open

packed it in the bowl

and smoked it deliberately

with the homies

But that was the old me

when I used to ride around

with the souvenir bandit

I chew apart this Orbit

as I attempt

to forfeit

my dedication to nicotine

again

for the whatever time

this is

I look right 
and then left 
and now I smile

as the words start

to pile up

like a car crash

I chuckle

cuz I know

that in a few moments

subliminally

you’ll know

I’m really tellin

someone to go

blow it

unless you’re full of it

in which case

nothing here

will show it

Chat GPT

write me a story

make it corny

and let it be told

by a phony

who really is just

rather lonely

but on the surface

is confident

successful

and free of worry

Hurry, my AI friend

I need it now

I’ve forgotten my pen

and found it again

but I take too long

to write

or draw

I mean

golly

sorry

I don’t know what I mean

I cannot see the reflection

the mirror is blurry

and muddled

by my pompous

and incentivized

mentality

that my creativity

is humanities

greatest gift

…pffft

I wish

I wish I knew

the first thing

about slam poetry

and what it means

and how it doesn’t

need to rhyme

but be ribboned

through emotion

and truly embrace

the notion

of connectivity

Oh wait

I do understand

the definition

perhaps then

I am not speaking

of me

but rather that other person

who

unknowingly

has inspired me

I’m on the road

to nowhere

and you can’t prove it

but these little creatures

can

Dave Byrne

you’re the fuckin man

I funk around here

and I funk around there

I am losing my hair

but gaining wisdom

and confidence

a better me

is surfacing

I’m a bad fish

with two pints

of booze

sitting in the fridge

I continue to live

through all the trials

and tribulations

yet I do not seek

validation

only peace

Weeks and weeks

of mental torment

of being unkind

I searched inward

instead of cascading outward

to find

my own security

because

that’s genuine

and true

unlike Facebook likes

and all that hubba-baloo

Woo

I am me

Ego aside

living vicariously

through gratefulness

Over a cup of tea

conversing honestly

sharing with the homie

speaking about uncertainties

rhyming and riddling

in between my brain

and it’s cavities

I reveal

that I have been mean

to myself

recently

A combination of holiday stress

self induced mental debt

work schedule being a mess

planning towards the future

but trying to stay present

I continue to vent

He blows O’s out the window

another fellow

outside creates paranoia

and I apologize

for the foam

that is spewing

from my mouth

He says nah fam

keep goin

I’m here

to hear you out

I ask about

what he’s sippin on

he says somethin

about a cloud

and how they part

so that’s what this

is about

I’ve heard and said

that doubt

kills quicker than a germ

as I attempt to unlearn

self deprivation

and cure

the funk

and wipe away

the blur

that fogs clarity

I tell him about Carrie

and how proud I am

to stand where we now stand

about our effort

and resilience

and he says

that’s so great

man

I’m proud of you

We talk about weekend plans

and I ask when he’s coming in

so we can get together

and so that time can be spent

It’s a 31st birthday

for the young feller man

the night before Christmas

as if he were blessed by Jesus

And I can’t believe it

Two decades of sharing

with buddi Bone

in the darkest times

of being alone

and in the happiest of times

leaving no unturned stone

Clouds do part

this we know

molded by the struggle

yet still willing to go

the extra mile

to be there for our people

and to make sure they know

that even when they cover

the sun

eventually they dissipate

I told him I haven’t

found the urge

to create

he said that’s okay

but here’s some homework

young feller

do what you do

‘cuz what you do is great

And I said ight bet

Clouds do part

and to that

we both relate

All that’s left

is a copy

I tried to pick up

Where I left off

On another piece

But I hate it

It’s probably not as bad

As my mind is making it

To be

But I’m sad

And that makes things

Hard

I told myself

That one day

I’d write a work

And title it

The Things I’ve Said In My Head But Never Out Loud

But tonight’s not that night

To be honest

I’m not entirely sure

What night tonight is

I struggle remembering

The days of the week

Anymore

It’s just all

Blurry

Like Puddle of Mudd

Come clean

I’m pausing for a second

And running my fingers

Through my own hair

And I’m sad

To my core

It feels as though

A rhino is sitting on me

Pinning me

To the floor

And the more

I try to sit

I just

Sink deeper in

I imagine

The worst insanity

For an alcoholic

Is an empty bottle of gin

But for me

My worst insanity

Is to imagine

My final breaths

Wondering if

And when

What could have been

Or what would I have done

Until I am pronounced dead

Like on Elm St

It’s often a nightmare

In this head

But like Jim Carrey

I usually mask it

Another classic

Wreak havoc

Shout out Bone

The car may be gone

But losing you

Would have been tragic

I am sadness

It encompasses me tonight

And I know I’ve mentioned this already

But steady with the pen

And usually

I begin to feel less heavy

Tonight I am sad

And I am turning to my writing

Finally after some time away

And it’s doing the opposite

Of what it normally does

But that’s okay

Patience is a process

And to follow the process

Patience it takes

Who the fugg knows

How sadness and patience

Relate

But that’s okay

I have to be nicer to myself

Ah yes

That’s what I’ll say

I’m frustrated

And I’m sad

I hope that’s okay

I feel like Kleech

Repeating rapidly

And also like a declawed cat

At the post scratching

I wake each morning

And I know I’m depressed

The mattress

Oh the mattress

Caresses me with faux comfort

My alarm alarms

Over a dozen times

And I cannot peel myself off

Until absolutely necessary

My cheeks are stiff

From dried tears

My stomach growls

From hunger

But I don’t have an appetite

And when I eat

I inhale so fast

That

I feel like it’s going to come

Right back up

I’m not one to give up

And though I don’t feel like I am

It also feels like I am

My mind tricking me

Like an elderly

Falling prey to a scam

I’m driving home now

And texting

There’s a part of me

That wishes I would crash

But I quickly retract that

One thing was just said

That I never vocalized from my head

At last

I do love life

Even though

Right now

I feel like

A trash bag