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if i look back, i am lost
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@jcdebound
Paradise š¤

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i spent like an hour trying to find the email to get into this blog. wow. it's been a long time folks. i'm probably not reactivating this blog but - the memories <3<3 hi.
@afterlifesoldier
āDo you know much about Nemesis?āĀ
Jadeite is leaning against the door to Sailor Plutoās oh so scary hall of time (door of time? whatever). His eyes are curious, his blond hair tugged back in a truly terrible attempt at a ponytail.Ā
Heās shipping out soon, so heās wearing his own face, his own look, for as long as he can before then.Ā
How bothersome could one Shitennou be? Setsuna rarely spent any time at the Door anymore. With all the busy schedule she had involving helping with training the new Senshi, and with all the hard work she has had with supporting negotiations between Nemesis and Crystal Tokyo.
So, as soon as she gets a moment at her sacred ground where no one else should be snooping around, she hears that voice which she recognized quickly.
āJadeite-san. I really would prefer if you wouldnāt linger here.ā
āPluto-san, I just didnāt know where else I was sure to find you. I really wonāt linger, of course not, I just have a few little questions for you~?ā
His grin is unrepentant, now that Sailor Pluto is here, a shade impudent.
āItās just, you spend so much time with the kiddies, and we are supposed to be keeping things from innocent ears and all.ā
Setsuna didnāt trust Jadeiteās grin even slightly. She watched him momentarily, thinking about her own experience with a certain Nemesian.
āI know as much as anyone else. Nemesis is a planet to which rebels got sent to when they refused the cleansing offered by the Queen. After a while, the current Prince rose to power and shortly after that, conflicts between our planet and theirs developed further.ā She murmured, summarizing the story and wondering why Jadeite was asking something that was common knowledge.Ā
Jadeite is just barely polite enough to wait until she's finished talking to start waving his hand.
"Yes, yes, those are the things that everyone knows. Dear Soldier of Time, guardian of this - really quite impressive door, the architecture here is very nice actually - I'm asking if you know anything fun about Nemesis. Juicy little details, hmmm? Maybe with that secret history people are pretending no one is all worked up over?"
@afterlifesoldier
āDo you know much about Nemesis?āĀ
Jadeite is leaning against the door to Sailor Plutoās oh so scary hall of time (door of time? whatever). His eyes are curious, his blond hair tugged back in a truly terrible attempt at a ponytail.Ā
Heās shipping out soon, so heās wearing his own face, his own look, for as long as he can before then.Ā
How bothersome could one Shitennou be? Setsuna rarely spent any time at the Door anymore. With all the busy schedule she had involving helping with training the new Senshi, and with all the hard work she has had with supporting negotiations between Nemesis and Crystal Tokyo.
So, as soon as she gets a moment at her sacred ground where no one else should be snooping around, she hears that voice which she recognized quickly.
āJadeite-san. I really would prefer if you wouldnāt linger here.ā
"Pluto-san, I just didn't know where else I was sure to find you. I really won't linger, of course not, I just have a few little questions for you~?"
His grin is unrepentant, now that Sailor Pluto is here, a shade impudent.
"It's just, you spend so much time with the kiddies, and we are supposed to be keeping things from innocent ears and all."
@dark-water-berthier
Jadeite didnāt understand the opposition, but he was going to. That was his jobĀ as a spy, as an infiltrator, as a diplomat, an ambassador, etc, etc, all the pretty names and ugly ones, at the end of the day that was what he always did. He got to know what the other side wanted, whoever the other side was, so he could take that back to his leaders and they could use it to get rid of the opposition.Ā
Of course, he didnāt really remember much about the fact that heād done all this before - like everyone else whoād been purified, he didnāt remember any life but this one - but heād heard about it, from the few records that were around, and it fit with his skills.Ā
Those at least didnāt rely on memories.
This did. Infiltration, and investigation, he needed memories - not his, but those from Nemesis. How could he understand if he didnāt hear what motivated the people?
His hair is black, dull and nondescript dyed instead of magicād, cut in a bland, average cut, his eyes still blue but dull, his features made bland, nose a little busted, lips a little chapped, brows bushy - nothing about him is fancy, but he also isnāt too perfectly average. Just a regular person, a little hard to pick out of a crowd. His clothes are overlarge and patched, and his hood is tucked over his head - fitted to the people who sat in bars on Crystal Tokyo - and who scrabbled over supplies in Nemesis, according to rumor.
Thatās where he was. Nemesis, shipped hidden with a garbage truck, stranded for the next round of days, to collect information before he headed back to Earth to report.Ā
For now - he wandered, watching without lingering.
Berthier didnāt particularly love her position, but she did whatever she had to in order to ensure her ranking within the Clan. With no such thing as a royal family in Nemesis, each and every effort to prove oneself skilled and useful in the constant warfare they lived through counted when it came to yielding any power whatsoever.
And unfortunately, in a country striken by so much horror and scarcity, a person would survive and thrive only by force. But force doesnāt necessarily mean physical muscles, but also wisdom and relying on oneās skills.
If what they needed at this point was someone reliable and relatively honest to ensure no suspect contraband arrived within the planet - there was always contraband, and that she understood, but she needed to keep tabs on that too. Berthier would take charge of that. She went over the items carefully, asking for detailed information and taking detailed notes of everything. She even confiscated a small container of illegal make up. Good. She had been in need of that.
Because Nemesis didnāt have many options on who to trade with, even though Crystal Tokyo and the planet had begin opening borders to one another, her dull job only took a few hours. But instead of teleporting back to her base, she decided to walk back ā it had been a long while since she spent any longer than necessary in the streets.
The streets of Nemesis werenāt safe, even for someone as high rank as her, but she didnāt fear civilians as much as she feared the changes that were happening so fast.
Of course it was every Nemesianās dream to have respect from the rest of the Universe, and access to resources too. But she didnāt approve of such a close relationship with Earth. And in days, sheād be going there. To Earth. To Crystal Tokyo.
She thought of it all but her eyes focused on dark blue eyes that seemed to watch her. She had never seen that person before, which didnāt mean much, but somehow they had a striking figure.Ā
Oh, heās been noticed. Someone catching his eyes, and following.Ā
On Earth, he would offer an impish grin, a flick of the eyes, and then disappear, to see if this pretty lady would follow after him. On Earth, he would scowl and duck, disappear through the nearest door and dare anyone to keep track.Ā
On Nemesis, either choice could be suspicious. Heās already seen that. Thereās no casual, easy joy on Nemesis, not out in the open at least. Itās a grim and dismal place and he can easily say he hates it already, but most people donāt just duck away from eyes either - that was weakness, and so far it seemed like people relied on force to get things done, here in Nemesis.Ā
He needed some force of his own - or at least, some grit. He cocks his head and keeps looking, raising a brow as if to say,Ā āwhat? is there a problem?ā.
Let her come to him, if she wanted. He wasnāt going to approach., That would be a bad look, get too much attention. Better to be an unlucky sap than a bold stranger.
The way the man looked at her made Berthier furious. Didnāt he recognized one of the Princeās most trusted soldiers? She knew this opening of the borders would create this type of issue between Nemesians. She knew they would start seeing Demando as a weak royal. She despised that idea of being seen as weak.
āYou. Which area are you from?ā Berthier asked, raising her posture to seem more important.
Oh she's mad, that little flash of challenge had been enough to rattle her chain something fierce. Jadeite ducked his head and scrunched his shoulders, all alarmed and regretful posture, and rattled off the name of an area he'd overheard people discussing.
clearly there is a problem, and maybe he'll get her to talk about it by presenting a confusing target.

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my new motivation idols are childrenās shows antagonists. no matter how often they fail to defeat 2-5 children every single week, theyāre back at it again the next episode with a barely modified plan and endless optimism. i aspire to live life like the entire plot depends on me trying again
"Sssso. Any big plans for today?"
"You see this pot of coffee? It's got three five hour energies mixed in. I'm going to pour it down my throat."
There was a slim chance that was a very funny joke, but Mamoru knew better than to doubt Kasumi. He plastered a smile on his face, adjusting the messenger bag around his shoulders.
"Oh. Well, I'll be around. See you later."
"...I'm missing something. You're making that face. That one that says you're sad but you're not going to say anything because why speak when you can suffer in silence."
He pours the coffee into a mug. And then pours some into another mug.
"Sit. Get caffeine wasted with me."
@dark-water-berthier
Jadeite didnāt understand the opposition, but he was going to. That was his jobĀ as a spy, as an infiltrator, as a diplomat, an ambassador, etc, etc, all the pretty names and ugly ones, at the end of the day that was what he always did. He got to know what the other side wanted, whoever the other side was, so he could take that back to his leaders and they could use it to get rid of the opposition.Ā
Of course, he didnāt really remember much about the fact that heād done all this before - like everyone else whoād been purified, he didnāt remember any life but this one - but heād heard about it, from the few records that were around, and it fit with his skills.Ā
Those at least didnāt rely on memories.
This did. Infiltration, and investigation, he needed memories - not his, but those from Nemesis. How could he understand if he didnāt hear what motivated the people?
His hair is black, dull and nondescript dyed instead of magicād, cut in a bland, average cut, his eyes still blue but dull, his features made bland, nose a little busted, lips a little chapped, brows bushy - nothing about him is fancy, but he also isnāt too perfectly average. Just a regular person, a little hard to pick out of a crowd. His clothes are overlarge and patched, and his hood is tucked over his head - fitted to the people who sat in bars on Crystal Tokyo - and who scrabbled over supplies in Nemesis, according to rumor.
Thatās where he was. Nemesis, shipped hidden with a garbage truck, stranded for the next round of days, to collect information before he headed back to Earth to report.Ā
For now - he wandered, watching without lingering.
Berthier didnāt particularly love her position, but she did whatever she had to in order to ensure her ranking within the Clan. With no such thing as a royal family in Nemesis, each and every effort to prove oneself skilled and useful in the constant warfare they lived through counted when it came to yielding any power whatsoever.
And unfortunately, in a country striken by so much horror and scarcity, a person would survive and thrive only by force. But force doesnāt necessarily mean physical muscles, but also wisdom and relying on oneās skills.
If what they needed at this point was someone reliable and relatively honest to ensure no suspect contraband arrived within the planet - there was always contraband, and that she understood, but she needed to keep tabs on that too. Berthier would take charge of that. She went over the items carefully, asking for detailed information and taking detailed notes of everything. She even confiscated a small container of illegal make up. Good. She had been in need of that.
Because Nemesis didnāt have many options on who to trade with, even though Crystal Tokyo and the planet had begin opening borders to one another, her dull job only took a few hours. But instead of teleporting back to her base, she decided to walk back ā it had been a long while since she spent any longer than necessary in the streets.
The streets of Nemesis werenāt safe, even for someone as high rank as her, but she didnāt fear civilians as much as she feared the changes that were happening so fast.
Of course it was every Nemesianās dream to have respect from the rest of the Universe, and access to resources too. But she didnāt approve of such a close relationship with Earth. And in days, sheād be going there. To Earth. To Crystal Tokyo.
She thought of it all but her eyes focused on dark blue eyes that seemed to watch her. She had never seen that person before, which didnāt mean much, but somehow they had a striking figure.Ā
Oh, heās been noticed. Someone catching his eyes, and following.Ā
On Earth, he would offer an impish grin, a flick of the eyes, and then disappear, to see if this pretty lady would follow after him. On Earth, he would scowl and duck, disappear through the nearest door and dare anyone to keep track.Ā
On Nemesis, either choice could be suspicious. Heās already seen that. Thereās no casual, easy joy on Nemesis, not out in the open at least. Itās a grim and dismal place and he can easily say he hates it already, but most people donāt just duck away from eyes either - that was weakness, and so far it seemed like people relied on force to get things done, here in Nemesis.Ā
He needed some force of his own - or at least, some grit. He cocks his head and keeps looking, raising a brow as if to say,Ā āwhat? is there a problem?ā.
Let her come to him, if she wanted. He wasnāt going to approach., That would be a bad look, get too much attention. Better to be an unlucky sap than a bold stranger.
@afterlifesoldier
āDo you know much about Nemesis?āĀ
Jadeite is leaning against the door to Sailor Plutoās oh so scary hall of time (door of time? whatever). His eyes are curious, his blond hair tugged back in a truly terrible attempt at a ponytail.Ā
Heās shipping out soon, so heās wearing his own face, his own look, for as long as he can before then.Ā
I had a dreamĀ I got everything I wanted || Kasumi + Setsuna
Setsuna didnāt mind acting in secrecy, as long as there were clear benefits to it. Not embarrassing herself in front of her friends, family members and colleagues seemed like the best reason as to keep her ambitions to herself.Ā
Some of them knew about her hobby of creating garments, especially Haruka and Michiru. But not many people knew of her secret dream of owning her own brand, and perhaps one day opening her store.
It all seemed unattainable if she thought about it hard enough. There were far too many rules to break into this industry, and for all itās worth, she was starting later than her competition. However, at this point in time and space, she knew itād probably be her last chance of making anything out of it.
She never had experience running a business, however. It took her time, but she found the perfect opportunity to learn how to develop it all with a night time business lesson offered by a respected business woman. She had bene successful starting from the ground up which is what Setsuna needed.
First day of school, and her mind was already filled with questions. Brand identity, marketing plan, market place research. She could feel her anxiety rising during class but she didnāt dare to admit it. As long as she could fight for her dream, she would.
Her eyes fell on one of the few people who seemed as eager as her. She could almost recognize him, but couldnāt place that face. Setsuna focused her attention again at the professor and took all the notes necessary.
@jcdebound
āThen perhaps you could share your notes with me via e-mail? It would truly help out. I took some too, but I think for the sake of knowing enough, I should always read what somebody else learned. We never know what othersā perception of the same situation you lived through could be.ā She pondered out loud.
āI could offer you some coffee in exchange? Or a beer if thatās more of your taste?ā
āCoffee would be great,ā he accepts with a grin.Ā āIāll scan my notes tonight and share them with you - here, if you put your email in my phone, Iāll make sure you get the notes tonight. I get the feeling Iāll actually need a study buddy with this class.ā He could probably use a study buddy in his actual classes but hey you only live once and heās never repeated a class yet.
āThank you, thatās so very kind of you.ā She took his phone and wrote down her e-mail, which was in fact setsunameioh@. She grabbed her bag, and pointed towards the exit, and they began walking towards a nice coffee shop in the area.
āI really like this spot. They have a delicious latte.ā She told him. It wasnāt long until they found their seat and ordered a drink.
āReally? I canāt wait to try it,ā he means that too - heās always stealing latte recipes, preparing for his own cafe, stocking up - if this is a favorite, then he wants to know how he can make the coffee and put his own twist on it.
Heās quick to shoot her a quick email so she has his own address, kasujay@ for her records, saying heāll send her the notes soon.Ā āI work at a cafe downtown, so Iām always trying everyoneās coffee.ā

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@dark-water-berthier
Jadeite didnāt understand the opposition, but he was going to. That was his jobĀ as a spy, as an infiltrator, as a diplomat, an ambassador, etc, etc, all the pretty names and ugly ones, at the end of the day that was what he always did. He got to know what the other side wanted, whoever the other side was, so he could take that back to his leaders and they could use it to get rid of the opposition.Ā
Of course, he didnāt really remember much about the fact that heād done all this before - like everyone else whoād been purified, he didnāt remember any life but this one - but heād heard about it, from the few records that were around, and it fit with his skills.Ā
Those at least didnāt rely on memories.
This did. Infiltration, and investigation, he needed memories - not his, but those from Nemesis. How could he understand if he didnāt hear what motivated the people?
His hair is black, dull and nondescript dyed instead of magicād, cut in a bland, average cut, his eyes still blue but dull, his features made bland, nose a little busted, lips a little chapped, brows bushy - nothing about him is fancy, but he also isnāt too perfectly average. Just a regular person, a little hard to pick out of a crowd. His clothes are overlarge and patched, and his hood is tucked over his head - fitted to the people who sat in bars on Crystal Tokyo - and who scrabbled over supplies in Nemesis, according to rumor.
Thatās where he was. Nemesis, shipped hidden with a garbage truck, stranded for the next round of days, to collect information before he headed back to Earth to report.Ā
For now - he wandered, watching without lingering.
I had a dreamĀ I got everything I wanted || Kasumi + Setsuna
Setsuna didnāt mind acting in secrecy, as long as there were clear benefits to it. Not embarrassing herself in front of her friends, family members and colleagues seemed like the best reason as to keep her ambitions to herself.Ā
Some of them knew about her hobby of creating garments, especially Haruka and Michiru. But not many people knew of her secret dream of owning her own brand, and perhaps one day opening her store.
It all seemed unattainable if she thought about it hard enough. There were far too many rules to break into this industry, and for all itās worth, she was starting later than her competition. However, at this point in time and space, she knew itād probably be her last chance of making anything out of it.
She never had experience running a business, however. It took her time, but she found the perfect opportunity to learn how to develop it all with a night time business lesson offered by a respected business woman. She had bene successful starting from the ground up which is what Setsuna needed.
First day of school, and her mind was already filled with questions. Brand identity, marketing plan, market place research. She could feel her anxiety rising during class but she didnāt dare to admit it. As long as she could fight for her dream, she would.
Her eyes fell on one of the few people who seemed as eager as her. She could almost recognize him, but couldnāt place that face. Setsuna focused her attention again at the professor and took all the notes necessary.
@jcdebound
āThen perhaps you could share your notes with me via e-mail? It would truly help out. I took some too, but I think for the sake of knowing enough, I should always read what somebody else learned. We never know what othersā perception of the same situation you lived through could be.ā She pondered out loud.
āI could offer you some coffee in exchange? Or a beer if thatās more of your taste?ā
āCoffee would be great,ā he accepts with a grin.Ā āIāll scan my notes tonight and share them with you - here, if you put your email in my phone, Iāll make sure you get the notes tonight. I get the feeling Iāll actually need a study buddy with this class.ā He could probably use a study buddy in his actual classes but hey you only live once and heās never repeated a class yet.
they're literally trying to date themselves in an otome game of them when all they need to do is look at jadeite's necklace and POOF they have dated themselves: 90s
man if i have to see that The Boys ad again i'm really going to pull a classic shitennou betrayal and knife tumblr in the back
"You owe no one your forgiveness."
"I have never, in my entire life, forgiven anyone for anything. But thank you for the wisdom."

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I had a dreamĀ I got everything I wanted || Kasumi + Setsuna
Setsuna didnāt mind acting in secrecy, as long as there were clear benefits to it. Not embarrassing herself in front of her friends, family members and colleagues seemed like the best reason as to keep her ambitions to herself.Ā
Some of them knew about her hobby of creating garments, especially Haruka and Michiru. But not many people knew of her secret dream of owning her own brand, and perhaps one day opening her store.
It all seemed unattainable if she thought about it hard enough. There were far too many rules to break into this industry, and for all itās worth, she was starting later than her competition. However, at this point in time and space, she knew itād probably be her last chance of making anything out of it.
She never had experience running a business, however. It took her time, but she found the perfect opportunity to learn how to develop it all with a night time business lesson offered by a respected business woman. She had bene successful starting from the ground up which is what Setsuna needed.
First day of school, and her mind was already filled with questions. Brand identity, marketing plan, market place research. She could feel her anxiety rising during class but she didnāt dare to admit it. As long as she could fight for her dream, she would.
Her eyes fell on one of the few people who seemed as eager as her. She could almost recognize him, but couldnāt place that face. Setsuna focused her attention again at the professor and took all the notes necessary.
@jcdebound
It was a busy schedule that he had forced upon himself, working at the cafe and towards his history major during the day, attending secret business classes at night, but Kasumi was fine with it. Really, the benefits - never having to acknowledge that his parents had been right, that business was a useful field of study, that he would regret a history major - far outweighed the consequences to his social life and sleeping schedule.
Particularly when the class was as good as this one, taught by an actual businesswoman who knew how to explain her success in practical ways, and was more than willing to give them the tools to replicate it. He took notes, copious amounts of them, scribbling down doodles of the diagrams as well, in the hope of remembering how it all pieced together later.
There was so much to know and the challenge of putting it altogether was almost frightening. (Almost.)
Eventually the class ended, with time left for a few more questions, and Kasumi started putting away his things, gradually realizing that there were just a handful of students who hadnāt been either falling asleep or tripping over themselves to get out, and one of them was someone who lookedā¦.vaguely familiar.
Huh.
Well, there was really just one thing to do about it -
āIām Kasumi. What harebrained scheme got you to come to night classes?ā
- walk right over and introduce himself.
Setsuna smiled slightly at the blonde man in front of her. Could it be that he also recognized her?Ā
āYou caught me. Iām hoping to run an underground business no one can know about. I even have a secret identity in order to do so.ā She spoke in such a natural tone that it could easily be true. Perhaps she should come up with an alias. That was a great idea.
āWhat did you think about the lesson?ā
āA secret identity,ā Kasumi considers, aware of how silly the idea is, but almost convinced of it just because of the casual, matter of fact tone in the womanās voice. The vague sense of familiarity is only growing, and itās astounding that he really doesnāt have a single idea about where he met such a beautiful woman. āItās a smart idea. An idea can be as harebrained as it wants to be, when no knows itās yours.ā Heās already keeping the classes secret, why not keep the him secret too?
But sheād asked him a question - even if he canāt help but notice that she hasnāt answered his - and he cracks a grin. āHonestly? I thought it was a lot to throw at us on the first day, but considering how many people just werenāt paying attention? Probably a good way to weed them out.ā
āDo you really believe Setsuna Meioh is really my name?ā She asked seriously.Ā
But now thinking on it, perhaps she should start her brand under a pseudonym, something no one could guess was hers. She pondered for a while.
āIt certainly gives us a lot to think about. I almost gave up half way through.ā She admitted.Ā āBut I suppose thatās the role of a reliable mentor. To make you doubt why you came in the first place, if you have what it takes, and then to remind you that only you get to decide that.ā
"Well, now that you've put it into question," but his tone is light and teasing. He has no idea if she's given her true name, and it doesn't really matter, does it? They're classmates, not husband and wife. In this age of the internet, who carried about a name?
Certainly not him! Certainly not him who was maybe yes or maybe no on dealing with any of his myriad of past life issues.
"Me too. All these notes - I don't even take this money for my actual major. But she seems like she really knows what's what, and if I don't want to fall out on my face I think I'm going to want to listen."
"Sssso. Any big plans for today?"
"You see this pot of coffee? It's got three five hour energies mixed in. I'm going to pour it down my throat."