JAY-Z AND BEYONCE WORRY ABOUT KANYE WEST

Ye: "Damn. Our only talking points from now on: Adidas. Givenchy. Zoolander prequel ideas."

"What am I doing during my only free time? Oh, just renting a taxi to surprise Mr. West. He's been down lately since we haven't seen him in a few weeks, or attend his wedding, or invite him to this social gathering we had last week (it was lowkey though). So his favorite movie is Taxi, not the classic one, but the one with Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon. Like seriously, his all time favorite movie. We'll probably drive around for a few hours reenacting some of the more pivotal scenes. Yup. My only free time this week, all of it for Mr. West.

"Boy, if you don't hush. We have two more floors, we'll be out soon."

"I just said our baby's name and North West's in the same sentence. It sounded like a New England Patriot's offensive play. What have we done?"

"Listen. I'm grateful for my friendship with Justin. I cherish it. And I'm truly proud of the work we've been doing together.'Suit & Tie?' Great track. 'Holy Grail?' Fucking divine. But sometimes... Sometimes I lie awake at night and I think about the nature of friendship, and of artistry, and collaboration, and I just... I mean, I'll put it like this. Kanye isn't on my new album. At all. And I wasn't on his. And... And now people are going to be comparing them to one another, and picking favorites, and this time last year, we... I don't know. I don't know. I'm probably over-thinking everything. It just sucks. I don't know." 

"Yes. Full Stop. I've heard."

"It happened, Jay. It happened just as I dreamed it would happen. Kim is humongous. She's huge. I know, I know... I sound like a soulless contributor to a cultural discourse that publicly and shamelessly attacks women's bodies for doing things that women's bodies are supposed to do. I mean. I know. I guess-- you know what, Jay, she's glowing, she's fucking glowing, and she's radiant, and-- god, I cannot wait to meet this baby. This baby can't get here fast enough." 

"This is not my clique. I don't love these humans. I love the Knowles-Carters. I miss the shit out of them. I watched Bey on the Super Bowl the other night and it was the first time I'd seen her face in forever. And I wasn't even really seeing her face, you know? Like, in person? And listen- listen- she killed it. She murdered it. And I was so happy for her but I was also so- I was just about to say sad, but it's not sad. It's not that. It's not anything I can put a name on." 

"A storm is coming... Kardashian spawn. She has been planning this for-- for-- I mean, she couldn't even give poor Blue one motherfucking year in the spotlight before she-- ugh. And it's sad, you know-- because, because, listen-- I'm thrilled for Kanye. I am. But Kim... Kimberly Noel Kardashian... I hope she gets super fucking fat. I truly do. And not cute fat. Ugly fat. Super ugly fucking fat." 

They are a pair of pranksters. This hotel has...19 floors. So, imma start with 1 and work my way up. HAHA, love 'em. 

"I had so many missed calls from Kanye today that I had to put my phone on airplane mode. I can't-- I can't, anymore. I just cannot do this. I couldn't find the strength to get out of my pajamas this morning. I've had three panic attacks since noon. There has to be a way out." 

"fool, if you don't keep rapping... I'll hit reset on that shit."

"Jay, this is a Youtube classic. It tops 'Scarlet Takes' a Tumble and 'Charlie Bit My Finger."

"Jay. It's so amazing how he can entertain himself for hours and hours... just by rolling around in his gold doubloons and thinking of words that rhyme with Maybach."

"I'm working on a new track with Suri Cruise. Beyonce wants me to sample some tracks since...Baby blue? Baby shoe? Baby J-Crew? has started to hum. To be honest, Baby View, sounded a little out of tune, but that's nothing Auto-tune can't fix. I'm just gonna sample the 'Pop That' track and mix it with 'Dangerously In Love Part II'. Ratchet meets Hood Love, Scientology meets Baptist, that's the feel I'm going for."

"Silly rabbit, the iphone tells people when you read a message. You gon' learn to listen."

"We hadn't heard from Ye in about a week, and so we went over to his house-- just, you know, just to make sure everything was cool, everything was kosher... No one was home, but, um, we know where he keeps his spare key-- it's underneath the ruby-encrusted jaguar statue on the front porch-- and what we found... What we found may change the face of our friendship forever... He even... He even has a Destiny's Child album up there..."