yes babe the sex was great but i never finished talking about vampires so i think we need to get back to that
noise dept.
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@jaspersoleya
yes babe the sex was great but i never finished talking about vampires so i think we need to get back to that

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Half of them are feds, but are off the clock.
I’m glad that Indiana finally has its first national park and that it’s the one mostly known for having sand dunes that eat children.
how, pray tell, does a dune eat A Child
Imagine that you’re a big pile of sand by the shore of Lake Michigan, between Gary and Michigan City. Your name is Mount Baldy, and you’re a popular tourist destination at what is now Indiana Dunes National Park.
For a huge pile of tiny rocks, you live a surprisingly nomadic lifestyle. More than a hundred years of tourism and foot traffic has destroyed much of the native grass that kept you stationary. You are now what they call a “wandering dune”, as wind off the lake slowly but steadily pushes your tremendous bulk a little further inland every year.
As you move, you gradually engulf everything in your path—trees, buildings, rocks, hills, your own parking lot—everything. You are an unstoppable force, like some kind of gigantic gelatinous cube, but you’re still very popular with visitors.
In 2013, you suddenly eat a child. It’s a surprising move on your part—dry quicksand isn’t supposed to be a real natural phenomenon. I mean, what is this, a 1960’s action movie?
One moment, a family from Illinois is cheerfully climbing your slopes. The next, the 6 year old boy suddenly vanishes without warning, leaving no trace. Would-be rescuers dig in the sand where he disappeared until their hands are bleeding. Geologists insist that he must have wandered off, because enormous piles sand physically cannot form hollows or pockets within themselves—but three hours later, he is found, unconscious but alive, buried almost twelve feet deep in the sand.
The current leading geological theory as to how this happened is that the organic material you engulf, like trees, slowly decompose beneath your slopes, leaving behind unstable voids held together only by the fragile remains of the decayed material. When these voids are walked over, they collapse, forming sudden sinkholes that can swallow visitors whole. The rules that typically govern stationary dunes, or wandering dunes in areas that are not forested, no longer apply to you. You are unpredictable and dangerous and have remained closed to visitors except on guided hikes ever since.
Did that really need to be in second person and fuck me up like that? No. But I’m not mad.
in retrospect I have no idea what possessed me to write this in second person
anyway devil’s stovepipes/decomp chimneys are cool as shit
me butt ass naked choosing a song before i step in the shower
Holy SHIT do not do this. Do NOT actually listen to music when in the shower. The water and moisture in the air will be electrified by the audio waves and it kills your brain like snake venom
Sorry for my image
I love hearing completely wrong information on tumblr dot com.
Hey its me. Im under attack by fucking SJW cringelords on tumblr. Take care of this for me.
I,m on the way

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please wear sunscreen!!! I've seen "fuck the beauty industrial complex" posts about complicated skincare regimens and am 100% with them except sometimes they mention sunscreen and no. no. absolutely not. sunscreen is a wonderful supportive friend who wants to keep you safe, and you should let her do it. throw out all your other cosmetics and skincare products if you want, but keep your sunscreen. and if you're not wearing sunscreen, start wearing it!!!! this is not about terror of aging, this is not about every tiny imperfection our fucked-up culture has made you feel insecure about, this is about protecting yourself from skin cancer. wear the damn sunscreen.
oh no they’re going to start calling democrats the same thing they’ve been calling democrats for 20 years now
Podfic is the ultimate portmanteau btw

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i miss when summers were normal and not literal hell
i was training a young person at work, and she referred to sexual assault as "SA" out loud, and i immediately was like, "no, it's sexual assault, call it what it is," bc idgaf if the algorithm overlords have taught y'all that you should fear direct language, how tf do any of you expect to ever address real issues with any amount of seriousness if you can't even say the words? imagine an advocate looking a sexual assault survivor in the eyes and asking "did he grape you?" it's absolutely fucking absurd, but these young interns and new hires are coming into an environment where we deal with survivors of all different kinds of abuse, and they're coming with the mindset that the words are as bad as the actions, and that makes them shitty at the job and look juvenile af
i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience
say the fucking words, guys. just say the goddamn words before i go insane!!!
smart, selfless and thoughtful? i’m in -adrian probably
my other PHM art here

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hate it when people call ada lovelace the first female programmer, when in reality she was the first programmer ever. she wrote programs for a machine before it was ever constructed
my secret santa gift for @triclopsrabbit
I think they're gonna make it guys