PERCHED💅🏼

We should all be in fear of anyone strong enough to balance and literally support their entire mass in that pose on tiptoes.

She ain’t even wearing a decent heel support like the lady behind her. No, this queen is wearing goddamn stilettos. You know how hard it is to walk in stilettos, let alone balance your weight on one foot? And she’s doing more than that, she’s literally resting all her weight on that foot. This is insane, she could kick all of our asses.

Shes smiling.

She knows the power she wields

u know ur fucked when u skip every song

I wanna listen to music but if I hear a sound right now I WILL die

Why is it on Tumblr Mobile™ you can close the app and open it 3 days later and still be on the same spot of your dash, but then other times you switch out of the app to respond to a text, and when you immediately come back, it’s gone, your family is gone, your house is gone, your dignity is gone.

A lot of adulthood is shouting “AUGH MY LAUNDRY” hours after you put it in the washer/dryer and running to go fetch it

oh shit my laundry

reblog to save someone’s laundry

This post isn’t written in any known human language

Is this what understanding a newspaper political cartoon is like?

Me

Me when my boss gives me actual work to do

speaking of it’s been a minute since i spelunked in the baby names discussion facebook group

the admins of that group banned me because someone asked “good middle names for a kid named saint?” and i answered “bernard”

Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)

dear person who aggressively stormed into the cubicle next to me and started peeing angrily: are you ok

i absolutely read this as office cubicle and was trying to figure out what sort of day you had that this was your reaction

A simply gorgeous feline.

this gets funnier every year 

The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong sweetie?” She sighs and puts down her fork. “I was digging really deep in AO3 last night…Why didn’t you finish that coffee shop au?” It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.

U CANNOT OUTRUN UR CRIME

OKAY BUT WAIT. This has happened to me. Recently. Because I am old and I have things out there from previous fandoms with previous pseuds and one day my teenager begins a rant at me about people never finishing any WIPs on the pit of voles (which he does not call the pit of voles because he has No Knowledge of such a thing but yet he still reads on which I didn’t think anyone did any longer) and he points out an example to me of something I WROTE AND LEFT WIPing for ages and he has NO IDEA #1 that his mom wrote this and #2 How much it still haunts me to this day that it will. sit. there. for. eternity. because I am too lazy to pull it down.

oh my god