Goron Girl

bartleby the scrivener in the streets, gregor samsa on the sheets

by the time they peel this monitor off my chest i will have the rash to end all rashes

i don't actually think it's normal that we treat piloting a 3,000 lb+ exploding metal death wagon as a crucial and necessary skill for basic survival and independence, nor do i think it makes sense for non-transport jobs to require you to have a death wagon license to work there, nor do i think that we should treat teenagers and young adults like losers for not having their death wagon license yet, nor do i think that 80-ish% of current death wagon license holders should actually be allowed behind a wheel. what i'm trying to tell you is that california needs to replace 90% of its transportation infrastructure with trains before a dodge ram driver on a facetime call runs over every single one of us

why the fuck are you filling residential areas with rat poison when you could just reintroduce my fine dude the gopher snake

the secret to most things is wipes

bad mental health day because of fucked up nightmares but on the bright side! at least the holter monitor can paint a picture of my heart rate patterns during an OCD spiral

we've reached the time of year where if i go to the bathroom at 2 AM i am guaranteed to see a cockroach the size of a hot wheels. what should have been a simple piss turns into a boss fight

what nobody tells you about the holter monitor is IT FUCKIN ITCHY!!!!!!

do you think bugs in the grass heed our footsteps the way we heed storm clouds

the worst thing about ark isn't the game-breaking bugs, the toxic pvp culture in official servers, the overabundance of paid dlc, or the dog shit power optimization. the worst thing about ark is that half of the dinos are modeled after their species depiction in jurassic park