- 𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒕𝒂 - @jannqt - Tumblr Blog

wow last rant post was exactly one month ago heres another one🤗

#last wednesday i picked up my dad from the airport and i was just driving how i normally drive #and then today him and my mom were like jasmeen…. ur driving is way too rough u speed way too much #ur turns are crazy u dont know how to turn properly i was wondering to myself whats wrong withher today why is she deiving like that #and idk i get so defensive about everything i cant help it i dodny saying anything to them but it pisses me off when they talk aout my #driving because when i had my learners my dad only started teaching me how to drive 5 months before my test instead of taking a whole year #like ur supposed to #and they would make me drive around by myself to run errands when i was only pn my learners i wasnt allowed to drive by myself and my name #wasnt on the insurance #and i was driving my grandma to the hospital i was driving my aunt and cousin around i was driving my brother around #and they never properly taught me how to drivw i had to learn myself and get over my feat myself because they were too lazy #anytime my mom would sit in a car with me when i had my learners instead of teaching me or keeping her eyes on the rosd she would sit criss #cross and start going on phone calls and watching videos and doing everything but teach me even tho i used to have such crippling driving #anxiety #so thats why now when i drive i hate it so much when they tell me im doing something wrong cuz like u never fucking taught me when u were #supposed to and now all of a sudden ur driving mcgee over here like actually bye #im so used to driving alone and whipping my car around but i used to be able to drive better when i was with other people #like i would be a litrle slower woth other people in the car now im just so used to dricing i just whip it around no matter who is in there #but it pissed me off so bad i cant i literally left their room and atarted crying cuz im such a defensive baby #like if u really hate my driving so much dont ask me to pock u up from the airport and dont give me 10 errands to run a day #and when i get upset i eat so 🤗🤗🤗 great #why am i so defensive over everything i dont know im #so emotional my hormones are crazy

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tw moms lol

#i actually hate my life right now so much its kind of funny like #i woke up and my dad was crying i was like okay cool this is so great #ive seen my dad cry maybe 5 times in my life so that was crazy but he talked it out and he said he was stressed and all that #and then he goes to the washroom my mom and i go to the kitchen and the whole time we were talking to my dad #my mom kept making it about herself and i kept telling her to shut up for a second because hes being vulnerable and he doesnt usually do th #but my mom just kepttt talking and keptttt talking about her own problems the whole time i was like oh my god #and then in the kitchen i was like u are a d1 yapper bro and she was like #i could never even explain to you how stressed i am how much they ruin my life all this all that #desi moms being dramatic #i was like literally girl bye he was just crying inside the room can you not make something about yourself for once in your life please omg #shes so annoying like i love my mom we know this but holy actual shit shes so narcissistic in some ways like her tone when she was talking #to my dad was calm and sweet but everything she was saying was slightly condescending omg and i was like okay cool week long family episode #is finally over and everybodys chill and happy cool and then in the kitchen my mom says all that and i was like great can you guys ever let #me not be stressed out about you jesus christ my mom is my biggest tension ever she’s constantly treating me like a therapist how is it my #fault u resent ur husband WHY IS THAT MY FAULT WHY DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT BURDEN #my dad is not even that horrible like yea he yells sometimes but my mom does too shes so emotionally exhausting guys i cant why do i have t #deal with this at 9 in the morning im so pissed you guys just ruined my day congrats

tw dads lol

#when i was a kid my dad had crazy anger issues like breaking chairs and shit you know how it is #but the past few years hes been so much better and he rarely ever yelled or slammed shit but this past week #once on sunday and right now #on sunday night we just came back after spending the whole entire day with family we went on a little day trip and woke up at 5 came back #home at 10 #and i dont know what the fuck happened but at 10 15 my mom came out of their room and into the livingroom and my dad was yelling at her and #calling her names #i was like what the fuck is actually fucking wrong with you sit the fuck down and my brother like shoved him away from our mom #and then the next day he tried to act like everything was fine when it really wasnt #and then today my mom went to see her cousin who just had a baby and the poor baby is in the nicu with an infection #so my aunt and unvle were stressed and crying and upset and my mom was with them for a few hours today while i was at work #and then she gets home after i got out of the shower about half an hour ago #and at first my dads at the stove cooking dinner and everyones literally fine and normal but then they both start making jabs at each other #and i was like what the fuck is going on when did this happen #and then out of nowhere he just raised his voice so loud and he was getting a spoon out of the drawer and he just slams the drawer shut and #breaks it #and i was like can you actually chill the fuck out what teh fuck is wrong with you right now #and he starts yelling even more and gravs his food and sots on the couch #and keeps eating and yelling like literally bye fuck you #he yells so loud and slams shit and hes literally reverting back to how he acted when i was younger #difference is my brother and i are older now so we match his energy back but seeing the way hes treated my mom this week #it makes me so violently upset i cant #and hes yelling even more now #guys i actually cant deal with him right now i cant like why is he so abrasive all the time #this just always makes me think about my future like will i end up like my mom too i feel so guilty for even thinking that #i love my mom so much id die for her id kill for her my mom is my actual best friend idc how lame that is #but i would never ever wanna live a life like hers #with a horrible emotionally unstable husband #i cant like is this my future too #bye i dont know what happened

this is just a rant account now lol my diary tbh

#jas’ jazz 🕺#my cousin from india is living with us because ofc she is #and oh my god you guys she is absolutely insufferable like so insufferable shes every single trait that i cant stand in a person sorry if #rhis will get me cancelled i dont care #shes such a baby about everythibg you are a grown woman your frontal cortex is completely deceloped #3 years older than me and still shes about as mature as i was when i was 7 years old #she has a fever today #and oh my god #she is so fucking dramatic about it shes kn the verge of tears and my mom gave her medicine gave her easier to eat food she massaged her #head #so its not like we are beglectibg this 25 year old woman #but shes being such a baby about it like my mom was sitting in my room cuz my aunt is shopping for outfits so she was facetiming to get #me and my moms opinion #and my cousin knew this #and still she calls my mom like my head hurts so bad it hurts worse when i sleep #i said if it hurts we can go to the hospital she said no its just a headache but it hurtssssss #like girl shut the fuck up and go the fuck to sleep #this is not the headache olympics but i had a 3 day long headache and i didnt tell a single soul #my dad has had a chronic headache for 2 years now and he still gets up and goes to work everyday #its so fucking annoying shes a such a baby about literally everything i dont get it #one time i had excruciating stomach pain all night long and i couldnt sleep and im jjst not the type of person to take anythibg serious #so maybe thats my character flaw #but i just could not sleep at all this is when i was like grade 12 i rhink #my stomach hurt so bad and i only told my parents at 7 in the mornibg when i was sure i was gonna die #like i suffered through a whole night before i asked for help #so my parents actually took me seriously and took me to the hospital #but she gets sick every week even if she goes outside too fast like girl bye #its literally like the boy who cried wolf because now u say ur sick three times a week so nobody is gonna take u seriously #i hate needy people so much sorry if im the biggest bitch in the world u guys just dont know the lore of this like i do

my mom just asked me to lend her 1000 dollars because her brother in India needs it but she doesn't wanna withdraw it from the bank because my dad will see and he'll get mad but tbh my moms brothers are literally deadbeats and my parents pay for their whole life and I hate that I'm giving my mom money and I have to hide it from my dad like that makes me feel so weird

#will delete as soon as im not mad about it #this is so icky to me also 1000 Canadian dollars is like 60k rupees what do you need all that money for I'm annoyed #and im going to work so im even more annoyed and then she just asked me for that so its even more annoying i woke up in a bad mood and im #gonna stay in a bad mood all day #they literally take advantage of my mom and now shes dragging me into it and she gives me the whole emotional blackmail speech like bye

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katlarence

CHRIS EVANS as Andy Barber in DEFENDING JACOB (2020)

#why did the jaw clench do something to me #andy barber

me when i start working again and immediately have a shopping addiction AGAIN

#jas’ jazz 🕺#i spent like 100 bucks at the mall yesterday 70 of it was birthday cash but still #and just spent another 50 online like girl get a grip omg #and i got coffee this morning pleaseeee someone take my card away from me #i was doing so good when i was unemployed i didnt touch a dollar out of my account but the second that cheque hit #all of a sudden im spending like im a billionaire i need help my dad would be so mad if he saw my bank statement 😭😭😭

waking up at 3:30am tomorrow for a flight to a place i dont even wanna go😞😞😞

#jas’ jazz 🕺#all day tomorrow spent travelling just to get to america #how is it that i can drive 40 minutes and cross the american border but just to get to the east coast #all of a sudden its a 7 hour flight and a 3 hour time difference #12 hour travel day literallyyyy k word me nowwwww #i dont even wanna go ughhhh

bucky barnes the man that you are

#jas’ jazz 🕺#a man that i need inside of me thanks #my man #my mannnn

about to walk into work and for some reason i am shitting my pants

#jas’ jazz 🕺#i am so nervous i need to breathe

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first day of new job tomorrow and i should be more nervous but im really not

#jas’ jazz 🕺#i didnt rven have. aproper interview it was genuinely just a convo and like a week later she called me and she said im okay with hiring you #like #okay girl im okay with being hired tf😂😂🤣🤣🤣#too busy being sick to my stomach about other things🤣🤣🤣

seeing my baby brother turn into every other violent misogynistic man is genuinely breaking my heart i tried so hard to instill empathy and kindness into him but he is just a man

#jas’ jazz 🕺#he punched me twice in the stomach and not even in a playful fighting way like in a way to genuinely hurt me #and he always says things that he knows are low blows when we’re fighting and #to watcg my mom defend him and my dad stay quiet is just so #like he is just a man #he used to be my baby brother and i raised him and i drove him to school and got him lunch and picked him up and carried him around and #played with him #and now he uses his man strength against me i am actually sobbing in my room this is so heartbreaking

currently thirst watching the falcon and the winter soldier because bucky barnes is the newfound love of my life

#jas’ jazz 🕺

beyondthefold

HENRY CAVILL as AUGUST WALKER Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018) | dir. Christopher McQuarrie

#my man

me sobbing

#my indian dad who shows no vulnerability telling me to drive carefully and who teared up when he hugged me and kissed my forehead at the #airport #oh my god im sick to my stomach i havent stopped sobbing literally what is wrong with me why is he so nice to me all of a sudden #me saying bye😊😂🙏 as if my screen isnt covered in tears omg how will i ever get married and move out

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my dads going to india tomorrow for a few weeks so hes gonna miss my bday and christmas and new years and stuff and im not a baby but idk im only sad because i genuinely love india so much like the way i feel about india is the way all those poets feel about their homeland except i was born in canada😭 like as soon as i get off the plane at the delhi airport and just that smell i swear nothing makes me feel more grounded (its the smell of extreme pollution) nothing connects me to my motherland more and im just ranting but im lowk jealous that hes gonna be there and we’re just gonna be in snowy rainy gloomy canada😞

#jas’ jazz 🕺#i love india #sometimes i feel like sachi mitti vaaja mardi aa #literally translating to the dirt is calling me but fr indias dirt is calling me i cant lie i love it there i get so emotional thinking #about it #ughh have to wake up at 5 tomorrow morning and if i start crying ill kms cuz my parents will never let me live it down

my friend insists on being the one to drive every time we go somewhere and it is genuinely a risk to my life every single time shes gotten into SIX car accidents (5 of which were undoubtedly her fault) and she cant park for shit and im not saying im a nascar perfect amazing driver but ive never gotten into an accident where i was the one driving

#jas’ jazz 🕺#she scares me #and gets genuinely offended if i say i can drive us #GIRL IM SCARED

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