Yes, you read that right.

On the eve of Autism Acceptance Month, Google, the most widely used search engine, is teaming up with Autism Speaks to collect and send data to researchers in order to essentially “eliminate” autism. I don’t think I can understate how eugenicist this is. It is genocide by definition.

It is imperative that we speak up about this. Every autistic person (including myself) know that Autism Speaks is a hate group in all but name.

There’s not much to say about this except it is VERY wrong.

Nothing about us without us. Listen to autistic people.

Humans were never meant to parent that way. We evolved with large families in multi generational environments. We never were meant to live alone and raise a baby by ourselves. The quote “it takes a village to raise a child” has evolutionary truth.

I’ve noticed even married couples have a massive struggle with raising a newborn because they either refuse help or aren’t offered it.

I work hard to hide my autism. Before each appointment I would guess at what questions would be asked and practice my responses. I would also prepare chunks of small talk that I could use. In the car on the way to my appointment, I would practice these phrases aloud to make sure their tempo and pitch were right. Within the appointment, I was prone to giving an answer that was easy over giving an accurate answer. I would come away proud that I had been “good” at the appointment.

But when my husband asked me what had happened, I wouldn’t know. What did the numbers on the front of my green file mean? I did not know. Were they measurements? Were they scan dates? I did not know. I was embarrassed and upset that I did not know. I had thought I would be “better” at being pregnant this time around.

I feel like dyspraxia doesn’t get talked about a lot. It’s it’s own neurodivergence, but commonly occurring with autism.

For me dyspraxia is really debilitating. I can’t process stairs. When I walk down them my brain flips them so every step I take I get this jolt like I’ve just missed a step or fallen down. I have to walk super slow and count the steps to “hold them in place” much like how numbers flip when I read them with my dyscalculia.

I have broken down crying on the stairs many times- especially if they are crowded, spiral, or really architectural like the ones at museums.

*falls over*

things breaking and spilling over without ever knowing how

“oh that’s gotta be about a kilometre away” (the thing is a metre away)

“I bet I could touch that if I just reached out” (the thing is a kilometre away)

*walks straight into a doorframe*

*zones out for 5 seconds and then forgets how to speak*

1. Taking forever (or never being able) to learn how to

ride a bike

tie your shoes

drive a car

do a cartwheel

use chopsticks

hold a pen “correctly”

play a new video game

Especially if you have a hard time explaining why the task is difficult.

2. Being slow at, or regularly messing up, tasks like

using a key to open a lock

eating (especially eating quickly)

pouring or carrying liquids

controlling your speed/volume when speaking

walking on a narrow line (like a curb or balance beam)

staying balanced on one foot

doing the dishes by hand

picking up and organizing things

telling right from left

wrapping presents neatly, applying tape and stickers neatly

3. People with dyspraxia are more likely to

Get hiccups

Bump into things

Choke on their food/drink

Trip on their own feet

Drop stuff

Injure themselves/break a bone doing something banal (especially when they are very young)

Just be generally clumsy

Get lost, lose sense of direction

Have low muscle tone

Press their pen through their paper or not press hard enough

Have bad handwriting, or settle on an unusual or stylized handwriting quite young

And now for the weird/uncanny symptoms:

Girls with dyspraxia are more likely to choose not to wear makeup and “reject femininity” - both because of texture sensitivity and because they struggle more with application.

Camoflaging symptoms - people with dyspraxia, especially the “gifted” ones, often unconsciously cover up their symptoms with creativity or obstinacy. They’ll do their school projects a little differently than instructed, saying they prefer their way better. Or say they won’t do something because they “don’t see the point”. They get a reputation for being original, defiant, creative, individualistic, or lazy.

Getting misdiagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder, especially at some point in your youth. Alternatively getting misdiagnosed with OCD (because you insist on doing things a certain way because of your physical limitations, but since those limitations can’t be measured or explained, they think it must be a compulsion).

Developing a weird relationship with “hard work” as when you are trying your hardest is often when you’re most likely being berated, often specifically for being lazy or not trying hard enough.

Generally being known for dawdling or stalling or being slow.

Being worse at tasks when someone is showing you how to do them or making you do them “properly” (i.e., being a mediocre bowler, being shown proper bowling stance, trying to execute proper bowling stance, being worse somehow. Being shown how to hold a pen and your handwriting getting markedly worse as a result)

Reaching a certain level of proficiency at a physical skill, and then hitting a wall when challenged further. (Being promoted to advanced courses and then demoted back to basics or a prior course when you can’t compete in the advanced class. Being too advanced for beginners but not advanced enough for regulars).

Forgetting how to do shit that is ingrained for most people once they learn it (riding a bike, folding origami, hand games).

Calling yourself “limb dyslexic” or “key dyslexic” or similar as a joke

Hating standing for long times. Just wanting to sit or lean.

Sleep disorders. All of them.