𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯. Sae Itoshi and his resting b**** face.
Synopsis: Itoshi Sae is famous for two things: him being a great football player and his permanent, RBF. And the media wants to know all about Itoshi Sae famous resting face.
Notes: absolutely crack…idk what I’m doing…
Enjoy Reading (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)!!
Sae Itoshi quote on quote, “Japan’s National Treasure.” Was dealing with another interview today.
And the media had many questions for Japan’s football prodigy. But unfortunately…none of them were about football.
Itoshi Sae sat at the center of the press conference table, one elbow resting lazily on the armrest while his chin balanced against his hand.
His expression, as always, looked like someone had personally inconvenienced him by just existing near him—the media’s words, not his.
Truthfully, he was just tired and dealing with pesky press conferences since they are so exhausting to deal with.
If he had a choice, he’d already be back home taking another nap or watching match footage and analyzing statistics.
But he was right here, listening to professional journalists discuss—his face.
“What’s even wrong with it?”
Sae just sighed internally, wanting to move on, he would walk out if he could, but that damn manager has been onto him begging for him to at-least finish the interview rather than walking out.
“Itoshi-san!”A reporter nearly launched himself out of his chair.
“Would you mind commenting on the viral clip currently trending online?”
“What clip?” He questioned the reporter,raising his eyebrow.
“The one where a drone flew past you during training.”
“The video had accumulated over forty million views.”
One eyebrow lifted, while hid eyes narrowed, he was genuinely… deeply confused
“But, why ?” he asked the reporter , his voice being flat as ever.
If he remembered that day, nothing noteworthy had happened. A drone had flown too close during training and it was the associatation for some advertisement promo and he just looked at it.
So why did forty million people, decide to watch him do something so ordinary was a beyond his understanding.
His gaze slowly swept across the room, silently searching for someone—anyone—to explain why simply looking at a drone had somehow become something people wanted to watch for entertainment.
The reporters just stared back, holding their breath, and they were sweating just to avoid his gaze.
The confusion lingered for five seconds before it settled back into the usual unreadable expression that he wore.
He dropped his gaze back down to the microphone in front of him, entirely checked out of the conversation.“People really watch anything.”
Every reporter including the manager blinked.
And The reporter hesitated to answer.
“People just really liked your expression.”
“I was just looking at the drone.”
“Yes! Exactly!” The reporter smiled chuckling to himself. “People are very curious about your ‘RBF’ , it went popular, there are many compilations of it.”
“Well…the hashtag #SaeLooksDone is currently number one worldwide on the internet.”
Then another reporter shot a question.
“How do you feel about fans saying your stare could make someone kneel six hundred times at their ancestors’ graves?”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“People are also wondering if you’ve ever looked happy.”
“I’m happy, I just smile with my heart.” Sae replied—because that was indeed the truth.
Leaving the reporters in the room glance at each other.
Then a third reporter raised her hand.
“There’s a rumor that you haven’t smiled in public for years. Is that true?”
“When was the last time then, Mr. Itoshi?”
Sae actually thought about it. “…Probably…”
The room leaned forward. “…Next question.”
Every keyboard in the room erupted into frantic typing.
Writing down : “Itoshi Sae does not remember when was the last time we smiled in public, maybe in his life.”
The poor PR manager looked moments away from filing his resignation by not wanting to deal with Sae Itoshi publicity.
“Itoshi-san!” Another hand shot into the air.
“People are saying your face never changes—would you say that is not true?”
“That is not true because my face does change.”
“Could you please, demonstrate?”
Then silence filled the room, Sae just blinked once. then another blink. he just blinked two times.
“There.” And The reporters collectively froze. Even the cameras stopped flashing.
“Was that it?” One of the reporter’s questioned, sweating whether he will be fine asking that question.
Then someone accidentally snorted in the back row. Making Sae slowly turned his head toward the sound.
The person immediately shut up.
Another journalist nervously adjusted his glasses.
“So… would you say you have… um… resting… you know…”
Making the reporter who was already nervous just stare at him.
“I also don’t understand that question.”
His manager desperately tried to regain control, “Perhaps we should move back to football—”
Sae looked around the room with genuine curiosity. “This is entertaining, so go on, talk more.”
The reporters all collectively nodded along .
“I’d also like to know why we’re discussing my face.”
For forty painfully long minutes later, the conference finally ended. And the whole entire time was spent talking about his own face.
The moment Sae climbed into the waiting car, he pulled out his phone.
Twenty -seven unread messages.
NOTIFICATIONS: Julian Loki
your face has gone viral again
NOTIFICATIONS :Michael Kaiser
Someone made a six-hour YouTube compilation of you looking disappointed, lol.
NOTIFICATIONS: Oliver Aiku
“There it changed" bro you cannot just blink twice and call it a demonstration
NOTIFICATIONS: number not saved (Bunny)
I think you looked great!
NOTIFICATIONS : Ryusei Shidou
CHECK THE EDIT’S I SENT YOU.
He regret listening to him, he shouldn’t have opened it at all. Against his better judgment, Sae tapped it. The video had over ten million likes. The creator’s pinned comment sat at the top of the screen in frantic capital letters : “OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR THE LIKES I’M LITERALLY SOBBING.”
Sae stared at it for a second before pressing play. Unlike the edits his teammates usually sent to mock him, this one was… surprisingly well-made.
It was an edit with the song “Honey” by KARA. It was the complete opposite of the intimidating image people usually associated with him.
The second edit appeared on his screen.
It was footage someone (Luna) had secretly taken on the team bus during a trip through Spain. And Sae was asleep. His head rested against the window,and his hair slightly messy from the ride, the afternoon sunlight spilling across his face.
The editor had slowed the footage down, added tiny white sparkles around him, and added the song “how to pretend” by Lucy Bedroque
“He's so pretty I'm actually crying,” he saw that comment while he was scrolling.
The next edit showed him in Madrid. Where he was standing at a street festival holding a churro, and having a drawn on spain’s flag on his cheek while he was silently chewing while staring off into the distance.
There were more sparkles and little animated hearts floated around his head.
“He looks like the prettiest person alive.”
“He is just three apples tall!”
Then he clicked on another edit. It was during training, and he had absentmindedly pushed his reddish-pink hair away from his face before looking toward the camera for barely a second.
And the comments absolutely immediately exploded across the screen.
@saesbiggestfan: This edit cleared my skin, watered my plants, paid my taxes, and fixed my sleep schedule.
@ohnojamjam: How does someone look this pretty while doing absolutely nothing.
@saeitoshigivemeonechance: I need him to look at me like that at least once.
↳ @bluelocknewseasonwhen: Get out.
↳ @saeitoshigivemeonechance: No, hear me out, PLEASE
Sae's eyebrow twitched. He certainly didn't understand why millions of people were emotionally invested in a these edits of him.
“…People are strange…,” he muttered, exiting the app.
Immediately, another notification appeared. From Ryusei Shidou had sent a YouTube link. That was another lukewarm mistake that he did.
Title of the video : Ranking Every Itoshi Sae Facial Expression (IMPOSSIBLE) Duration: 8:03
The video opened with overly dramatic, classical music was blasting in the video.
A frantic reporter accidentally bumped into his shoulder. Sae looked over, giving him a three-degree side-eye. The video frame froze and s red circle appeared and zoom in, into his face.
The reporter was trying to make a joke while Sae just looked at him deadpanned while the reporter looked like he wanted to bury his head in the sand.
It was a match against Re Al and FC Barcha and the big screen panned onto Sae face and he was just standing there being in his own little world, having the same expression.
Another trip the Re Al group took and they were in Seville enjoying their time while Sae was trailing along them and was told to smile so he raised his hands and did a peace sign wearing the same expression.
A old footage that was dug up by fans and it was an eight year old Sae winning another award and was forced to take a picture and smile, minutes passed and the audio picked up him muttering “lukewarm” while wearing the expression again.
The creator zoomed in on the eyes and mouth, meticulously comparing every single screenshot. And the creator of the video actually legitimately made an actual mathematical graph appeared on screen. “Base on pictures and videos of him Sae Itoshi Facial Expression Consistency: 96.67%”
Sae closed the video and opened the Gen XI group chat,
number not saved (Bunny) : Sae, did you know you got named “El chico japonés guapo de Madrid"
Michael Kaiser: Millions of people think you're pretty and you still look like a bum npc
Lorezno: yoo, Sae bro can I sell your pics?
Vivian Hugo: You look nice
Vivian Hugo sent a picture to the group chat
It was a picture of Sae from a photoshoot, wearing the same expression against a very cute background
Julian Loki: Oh woah, you got kawaified too Sae, just like me!
Sae swiped down to read the Twitter discourse Shidou was sending him bombing his notifications .
@iluvbluelock: This is why he doesn't have forehead wrinkles. His face literally never moves…
(This was completely false, because Sae moisturized every single night and have a skincare routine)
↳ @cantheitoshibrosreunite: i don’t think sooo, He actually has a daily routine skin care and in an interview he said that he moisturized every single night before sleeping or after games. He even has a morning routine!
@unbench_rinitoshi_pls: Itoshi Sae has two emotions: 😐 and 😐 which is happier but slightly to the left.
@saeitoshiplease_talk_to_rin: posted a meme joking about Sae Itoshi’s permanent resting bitch face, and RE Al Twitter absolutely ran with it. Within minutes, the tweet was flooded with thousands of likes and retweets, turning Japan's national treasure into a viral sensation.
@imaybe_like_bllk : why does sae always look like a corporate employee forced to attend a team-building exercise.
@football_clips: Y'all remember that Madrid festival photo where he looked like he genuinely wanted to not be there ? Fun fact: he was actually having the time of his life.
@ohno_saeis_behind_you: The original interview is somehow even funnier.
The poster posted the clip of the interview
Reporter: "Are you enjoy your time at the festival ?”
Sae: "yes, I’m enjoying my time."
Reporter: "...Then why do you look upset…?”
Sae: "I’m not, I enjoyed being here and and I look forward for more opportunities to participate in festivals."
↳ @Ilovesaeitoshi: HE WAS HAPPY. THAT WAS HIS HAPPY FACE.
↳ @Isagi_pleaseshower: LMAO YES HE WAS!!
@bluelock_is_cool: The day Sae smiles, Japan's economy will increase.
@rinitoshiilyyy: Maybe Rin thought Sae hated him because this is literally just his face.
↳ @rineyelashes: I suddenly understand Rin's entire childhood.
@iwanticecream_rn: Imagine introducing him to your parents.
↳ @Ihave_icecream: IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY
@thesaeitoshifan: I’m not kidding, I need him to look at me like that
↳ @whenwill_season_three_come: GET OUT.
↳ @saeitoshigivemeonechance: I GET YOU DW TWIN !!
Sae sighed heavily and closed the app. Right as he did, Shidou sent one final text. It was a grid meme of his face from today's press conference.
Hungry but you see your brother.
He locked his phone with a definitive click, he was not going to respond nor talk for awhile—but it did make him amused.
“…People have too much free time…”
Itoshi Sae genuinely believed…that he looked perfectly normal.
That there was nothing wrong at all and he was living a good life. He doesn’t seem to realize that he is blunt half of the time, even if he doesn’t mean it.
He leaned his head against the cool glass of the car window, closed his eyes, and began reviewing FC Barcha statistics in his head to finally get some peace, after a long tiring day.
It wasn’t his fault people can’t tell that he is happy, but it didn’t matter.
Thank you for reading٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ !!
| Written by Jammy. Please do not copy and paste or feed my work into an AI. This was completely written by hand, thank you for stopping by and reading!
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