o captain! my captain!

Fuck: “Meg? Sure, why not. Could be a fun time.”

Marry: “I could marry Hercules, I guess…I’d just have to learn to deal with his constant bravery and chivalry. Disgusting.”

Get drunk with: “Krstoff–the reindeer guy, right? Might be interesting to see what a giant oaf like that does when he’s drunk.”

Fuck: “Gothel might be fun in bed once or twice. Not sure I could commit to more than a one night stand, though–she’d take a lot of work to deal with.”

Marry: “Meg. She seems to hate people as much as I do.”

Get drunk with: “Princess Winterson…is she even legal for any of these options? How old even is she?”

JAMES EVERETT - ISTJ / “The Logistician”

“ISTJ personalities are no-nonsense, and when they've made a decision, they will relay the facts necessary to achieve their goal, expecting others to grasp the situation immediately and take action.”

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

((As James and Peter are half-brothers, I’ll be answering this in the fashion of their typical non-romantic/antagonistic relationship and therefore won’t be tagging it with an inc*st trigger warning.))

big spoon/little spoon: Peter tries to slip into bed and jokingly fit himself as the big spoon. James scowls and shoves Peter off the mattress and immediately considers bathing in cleaning fluid.

favorite non-sexual activity: Peter has a particular fondness for playing practical jokes on James whenever he’s not looking or is too busy concentrating on something else. James’ favorite activity is grabbing Peter by the scruff of his neck and dangling him over the side of the boat.

who uses all the hot water: James does after long days of working on his ship. He doesn’t find it at all humorous when Peter tries to flush the toilet when he’s bathing, however.

most trivial thing they fight over: If there’s a subject that can be fought over, you’d better believe that James and Peter are going at it.

who does most of the cleaning: James orders Peter to do the cleaning. Instead, Peter starts throwing things overboard. James throws Peter overboard. Cycle repeats.

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: James likes to have control of everything in relation to his situation with Peter, but what he doesn’t know is that after he’s recorded an entire season of Black Sails, Peter goes in and deletes them all and replaces it with reruns of Spongebob Squarepants.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: James tells Peter to deal with the cold, and Peter gripes and moans and finds a way to trick the landlord into giving them free heating for an entire month.

who steals the blankets: Steal the blankets? Neither of them share blankets to begin with.

who leaves their stuff around: Peter throws around toys he’s tired of playing with and gadgets he no longer has an interest in. James scowls and tells Smee to keep them.

who remembers to buy the milk: James gets milk for himself. Peter steals it.

who cooks normally?: Wendy feels beyond maternal whenever she and James are together (it’s very much so a Wendy Darling thing), so she’ll insist on making all of their meals for him. She’s also very controlling (again, a definite Wendy Darling trademark).

how often do they fight?: They bicker almost endlessly; if James isn’t beyond irritated with something Peter or the other Darling children have done, then Wendy is fussing and nitpicking over something James did earlier that day. Fighting is so common to them that it would be strange if they ceased arguing altogether.

what do they do when they’re away from each other?: James wouldn’t be able to admit it out loud (not even to himself), but...he’d pine for her in her absence. Wendy would sit herself up in her room, gazing out the window and playing with a small flower they’d picked up on one of their afternoon walks together.

nicknames for each other?: James is quite fond of calling her “Darling”, whereas Wendy coos and refers to him as her pirate. (Hers, Tinker Bell and Tiger Lily, not yours; take note).

who is more likely to pay for dinner?: James is, without a doubt. Secretly, Wendy is extremely charmed by it.

who steals the covers at night?: Wendy is terrible about stealing the covers in the dead of night and tangling herself up in them, but if James approaches this about her during daylight hours, she’ll immediately deny his accusations and claim he suffers from vivid dreams and delusions.

what would they get each other for gifts?: Wendy would put a great deal of thought into a gift for James--she’d fret over it for nights and weeks on end, struggling to make sure it was the perfect gift that suited him wonderfully. And even if James acted like he didn’t care, he’d still worry constantly about what to get her for birthday, Christmas, and other holidays.

who kissed who first?: James, on a complete whim that ended up being the best decision of his life.

who made the first move?: Again, this was on James’ part...but Wendy responding positively was what really pushed him forward.

who remembers things?: Both James and Wendy are gifted when it comes to memory recall; Wendy never forgets things she can bring up later, and James remembers every goofy thing she admits or blurts out.

who started the relationship?: It was a mutual thing on both parts; they managed to stumble into the relationship before either one of them fully realized what was going on.

who cusses more?: James, without a doubt. He curses--quite literally--like a sailor. Go figure.

big spoon/little spoon: Gaston refuses to be anything but the big spoon. James states that he’s no one’s ‘spoon’ at all. Smee and LeFou stare at their respective leaders sadly, jealous of their partners.

favorite non-sexual activity: Fighting. Constant bickering turns into a contest, and suddenly James is wielding his sword and challenging Gaston to a duel, and Gaston’s already picking bear traps out of his bag and screaming for LeFou to set them up. Love: what a twisted, violent thing.

who uses all the hot water: Gaston, obviously–you don’t get hair that perfect with a measly ten minute bathing routine.

most trivial thing they fight over: There’s nothing trivial when it comes to Gaston and James. Everything is fire and more fire and–finally–more fire.

who does most of the cleaning: James keeps his spots on his ship tidy, and Gaston makes sure his person stays pristine. That’s pretty much all that matters, right?

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: James hardcore watches Black Sails and Sons of Anarchy, while Gaston secretly records things from the Food Network. For James to cook for him, of course. Gaston’s too manly to cook his own meals. Gaston controls Netflix, but James doesn’t care too much; all he needs to watch is a documentary about crocodiles. You know…for precaution…

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Gaston smooth talks his way into free heating. James’ approach is strangling the man until he gives them what they want.

who steals the blankets: Gaston, and James complains about it 24/7. Without pause.

who leaves their stuff around: James is very particular about his things, so when Gaston leaves his coat, shoes, weapons of destruction–you know, typical boy stuff–lying around the ship, James goes into a rage.

who remembers to buy the milk: That’s what Smee and LeFou are for.