owen harper pussy madness

i knoww omg. i think ive said this, i actually started out hyperfixated on walton himself, which lead me to get into fotv + the games, so i was watching fotv promo before ever seeing the show 😭 and i saw that interview way back when so maybe it informed my take on the character? but i do think walton sees him pretty similarly to how i do; purely devoted to one goal and one purpose, to an obsessive degree, and everything else is irrelevant. well, two goals; he's also forced to worry about making sure he can provide himself with his serum, so all his other behavior + activities are in service of that goal (and a lot of his time & energy goes into it). and i do think by the time we meet him he feels a little hopeless about finding barb & janey, i know his ass could've got out / wouldn't have gotten into the coffin situation in the first place if he had a definitive lead on them, but the ghoul we meet is distinctly depressed. that's a guy who hates himself, is miserable being alive (except on the occasion something interesting happens, which often is how depression works anyway), and who deprives himself of pleasures. people have projected this sort of hedonistic attitude onto him (i still haven't played fo4 but thats hancock esque is it not?) but he's really not like that? the only instance in the show was the chem binge which was like. specific circumstances. him + chems are like a self medicating deal too not a.. recreational activity? idk my point is i think a lot of people see him as a. rake character? idk if thats the best way to describe it but like a. murdoc niccals bender rodriguez sterling archer character. cocky womanizer prone to substance abuse like thats what ppl seem to want him to be. with some inner angst bc he misses his daughter. hes not like that!!!!