J'adore Le Cafe

And he hasn’t responded.

The point of this app is that you have access to text and chat options on a daily or at least a few times a week basis 🤔 so far it’s been once a week call and that’s it. No contact outside of that and not responding to messages?

He didn’t even send me the worksheet he said he was going to this week.

There were SO. MANY. CHANCES. for social services to come in and stop it. For someone to say something or do something. So many people just don’t want to get involved and so they don’t report very obvious signs of problems and abuse.

After going over the outline of my “mild” part 1 of my trauma stories on Saturday with my therapist I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it all and just how more and more things were so much more fucked up then I thought. I’m just so angry for little me. So many people fucked up and failed her and let her nearly die so many times because they didn’t want to be inconvenienced by making a report or a phone call.

Like I haven’t heard anything from him and last week he sent me a quick message to acknowledge the session and then sent me a worksheet. He was supposed to send a worksheet this time too but I haven’t received it.

Why do I feel so threatened by those I care about most wanting me to be independent (instead of codependent)

“Share what’s going on in your head” they said.

“It won’t scare me” they said.

Meanwhile as I’m explaining how I want to die but not actually want to die and how I got lost in my own head/body and checked out for a while and how I feel like an alien who skimmed the manual on how to work this human flesh prison but actually has no idea what they’re doing as is screaming constantly as they try desperately to not fail.

And they have the audacity to give me this: