THIS IS LITERALLY GOING TO BE ME WHEN I EVENTUALLY TAKE SEMANTICS

lmaoooo khloe is me af

Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

not if i drink enough alcohol! take that you prying creep

OH MY GOD

I don't think I have ever picked up a pair of tongs without clicking them together a couple of times.

Gotta make sure they work

channel your inner crab

slorp

reblog if you’ve ever been horrified by your own Customer Service voice

she is so FAKE 

THE SHADE OF IT ALL.

yes I am fully aware that I’m The Worst™ but I still wanna be like……. loved and stuff

basically

good idea: marry a blacksmith so you can get free swords whenever 

Never apologize for your giant dogs getting overexcited, if I get taken down by a 100 pound mass of fluff then that’s how I go.

my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad