boyz-R-trash

my mom told me that in high school she used to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

I feel sorry for your dad, your mom sounds like a piece of shit

a few minutes ago my niece came up to me crying her eyes out and when I asked her what was wrong she told me she accidentally swallowed a piece of ice and was scared her butthole would be cold when she pooped it out

in my science class we were talking about turtles and someone said “I had a turtle that ate my other turtle when I was on vacation” and my teacher said “ya, sometimes turtles eat turtles” and this really quiet kid in the back of the room said “sometimes humans eat humans” with a serious blank expression on his face and that was the only thing he said all year

I mind my business, but I do pay attention.