"I Solemly Swear That I Am Up To No Good"

If a predator misses target number one they’ll just go for target 2. If you shame them out of the bar they’ll never come back.

And there is a solid chance of a collective asswhoopin, or an actual arrest for attempted rape.

It starts off when they’re still enemies in the Goblet of Fire. Draco makes a taunt about who Harry’s going to ask to the Yule Ball and how they must be from the worst of the worst lot and Harry rolls his eyes and says, “Well, fitting you say that, Malfoy, because I was going to ask you.” A perfect zing, Harry. 10/10.

But now the ball’s in Draco’s court and obviously he’s not going to pass up on the chance to humiliate the scarhead so he takes the most logical route of humiliation and calls out his bluff: “Fine, Potter, I reckon we’re going.”

But do you think Harry James Potter is just going to back down? That stubborn teenager is going to stare Draco down and say, “Reckon we are.”

Ron’s confused and Hermione’s confused and literally the entire castle is confused but Harry’s satisfied because he called out a bluffer’s counterbluff with a bluff of his own. And they just keep it up.

“I suppose you don’t even know how to dance, Potter?”

The furious teenager who spent years having to watch soapbox dramas with Mrs. Figg just glares at him in his stupid dress robes. “I know some things.”

“Prove it.”

“Fine.”

It’s like that for days until Draco makes the ultimate power move by inviting Harry to the Malfoy’s Annual New Years Eve Ball, taking out a Daily Prophet ad no less, because oh, oh, he’s got Potter now. He’ll never accept and he’ll be humiliated in front of the entire wizarding world. And do you think Harry’s just going to go down without a fight? God, no, he’s going to win whatever the hell this is because he’s Harry Potter, Draco better be worried, oh boy.

They’re still going at it six months later.

“Err—Malfoy?” Crabbe says. “Potter just sent you a dozen roses?”

“That son of a bitch! Send a box of chocolates. That’ll show him.”

“Um, Draco—?”

Zuko and Sokka, on an undercover mission, simultaneously: I’m Li

The guard:

Zuko:

Sokka:

Sokka: we’re um

[awkwardly holds Zuko’s hand]

Me: