desi, bi and loves chai

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, truly

God I really am in such a bad place mentally and the worstttttt part is that I cannot talk to anyone about it.

There is an art to being the DUFF. You are always the BRO and you are not allowed to be sad about it. You'll never be liked or sought out from amongst your friends. You'll always be asked about in context of your friends and never for yourself. People will be only interested in you as long as you're not around your friends, and then you'll just be the 'ugly fat' catch and that they could've done 'so much better' and THEY ALWAYS WILL. You'll never be able to tell if someone is genuinely into you and if you're sure you'll never be able to publicly accept it because the guy may end up actually making out with your hot friend and then you'll have to pretend to be unbothered by it and actually be happy for them. Because hot and good people need to end up together. And all I'll ever be for anyone is a quick, easy fuck when no one else is available or else I'll always be the difficult cock-block. Maybe I'll end up accepting the quick easy fuck part and actually do it, if I ever want to escape the loneliness. God actually knows.