Vergil's designated cuck chair

where do you see yourself in five beers

five beer plan

the last five beers by jason robert brown

top gun is great because tony scott was like “i want to make a movie about sunsets” and the us navy was like “No you’re gonna make recruitment propanganda for the navy” and val kilmer was like “the studio has tricked me, juilliard trained val kilmer, into being here, so i’m going to portray a closeted homosexual” and tom cruise was like “i’m in a ray bans commercial!”

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

why is this so funny

i was young, maybe 12-13 when i first went on one of these pendulum boat rides of death and when i sat my dumb ass down i thought “huh, this aint so bad” but then the fucking thing almost went upside down and im not particularly religious but for the few minutes i was on this motherfucking boat i was collecting religions like fucking pokemons. i was praying to god, to jesus, to all the saints, to buddha, to satan, to the spirits of my dead ancestors, to every god in every pantheon i could remember i was fucking praying. if i had a censer i would have swung that bitch around trying to baptise the seats and the passengers, id have fucking sung hymns and did a fucking oracion. if i had rosary beads i would be chanting hail marys and counting them with the fervor of a fairy that was thrown a sack of rice. if i had sticks of incense id be fucking communing with every ancestor known and unknown to keep me in that goddamn boat until the entire ride smelled like ash and cinders. when i went on this boat i forgot how to speak ENGLISH. i was straight speaking in tongues not meant for mortal men. this fucking pendulum motherfucker gave me a fear of heights. people who willingly go into this are built different and will not give two shits if the sun blew up, if a zombie apocalypse happened, they. dont. CARE. the waters will rise and these fuckers will swim, volcanoes will rain fire and lava down and these fuckers will stroll through with umbrellas. the horns of rapture will sound and these fuckers will stare death in the face and politely decline FUCK THAT good dAY SIR ill be over here minding my own goddamn business

stop being overdramatic i went on this when i was like 10 and with my 65 yr old grandmother it was mad fun

Fun fact when I was like 5 (I was really young I’m not exactly sure how old I was) this was my favorite ride and I would go on it a bunch of times in a row, my favorite seat was at the front

Im sorry to the weak ones in the replies but this is the BEST ride out of all of them

Gosh this is another one I want to do well in this contest.