Guy Who Is Very Normal About Elias Bouchard

[ID: a picture of a menue in which the first item reads "Hunters chicken burger \n chicken breast, barbecue sauce, bacon, cheese, chips. 17.95" and the second item reads "aromantic garden burger \n pea, spinach and potato burger, burger garnish, vegan mayonnaise, chips. 16.95. End ID]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

you've heard of death of the author, now get ready for death of the audience: where instead of basing your reaction on a thousand uninformed opinions online, you actually read the text and engage with it

was agonizing at my therapist today about how I don't write anything ever and she said "well you're the coauthor of a game that gets sold in real bookstores" and I said that doesn't count I just helped out and she said "well you journal every day" and I said that's nothing no one reads that and she said "aren't you internet famous or something, don't you write for that?" and I said neverrrrrr bring that up again

How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy who’s job it is to destroy plastic

WARNING do NOT start reading books and comics or watching movies or looking at art!!! you will start wanting to create art yourself. or god forbid. writing.

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

the species that can take you out are literally wizards with magic boom sticks that instantly wound you from a distance. they're mostly just scared of you though, if you catch one without the boom stick they're very easy to kill. also they leave treasure chests full of delicious food around where they live and if you're smart you can figure out how to open them. going into one of their settlements is basically a dungeon crawler RPG.

in order to preserve my internet privacy i’ll have to start feeding everyone misinformation about myself. i don’t eat. i don’t sleep. i don’t breathe. i don’t blink. i don’t have “blood”

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I think I might be about to send a deranged email

Her name is Juliana Nzita.