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Lohen's constellation being a bunny... The endless possibilities...
Bunny could be his favorite petname for reader in general, but imagine bunny!reader π³ who had the misfortunate of catching lohen's eye... It's a pity, really, you could be minding your own business for one moment before running for your life in the next one from this maniac with eyes sparkling from excitement who clearlyyyy gets off from chasing you...
lohen probably finds bunnies very cute >< what if him and reader were bunnies and fucked all day every day... woah... <- that's what he fantasizes about when he's on patrol I think
YES..... your mind is always so amazing ughh...
"woah. do you hop like an actual rabbit, too?"
they say that the favonius knights who hail from mondstadt are people who wear chivalry as their second skin. you've met their grand master during his brief stay here in the frostmoon scions; he was nice, albeit a little too loud for your sensitive bunny ears.
this favonius knight eyeing you down, however.... he feels unnerving in a way. though the 'why' is lost upon you. you stand up and brush off the blades of grass that clung to your clothes before leveling him with an acknowledging nod. you choose not to answer his sudden question.
"greetings, guest from afar," you bow, "the frostmoon scions bid you welcome."
from past experience, any other person would say thank you and move on with the purpose of their visit. the last time you greeted a favonius knight, they insisted on carrying some of your items in the name of gratitude.
so it came as a surprise to you when this peculiar knight got close to your personal space and, without warning, started feeling up the base of your ears. he whistles in delight, the material of his glove irritating you as he begins squeezing your ears. grip tightening to the point of hurting.
"cute."
you jump away in haste, looking at him with what you hope to be an intimidating expression. he smiles, sleazy eyes quickly drifting down to your waist area. he begins circling you; each step of his is deliberate.
from your side, he laughs in delight, "oh, a fluffy tail too!"
it's not long until you learn the name of your tormentor: lohen, a vice captain from the knights of favonius who derives sick pleasure from constantly hunting you down and bullying you.
the elders view this as a good sign: the frostmoon scions are often associated with deers because of the moonchanter's antlers, and outsiders forget that people with other animal traits exist within your community. you, for one, possess that of a bunny's.
once, an elderly woman saw lohen persistently squeeze your tail as if it were his personal stress ball and wistfully sighed the moment he was gone. it's good that an outsider is expressing interest in you, she said spontaneously before going off on a tangent about birthing kids with more bunny traits to expand the frostmoon scions.
her wishes will stay as pipe dreams: lohen is nowhere near being your top husband candidate!
he's mean, always riling you up until you thump your legs in fear and your teeth chatters out of stress. luring you into secluded forests just to feel you up from bunny ears to fluffy tail, and encouraging you to hurt him if you wished to escape. even asking you the most outlandish questions with the purpose of flustering you for hours on end.
a few days ago, he even crudely asked you if bunnies really do fuck nonstop! to that, you slammed the door right in his face.
surely the frostmoon elders will understand why you refuse their attempts at romancing you with this indecent knight from the land of wind.
; yandere, this is based on a cliche trope so do with that as you will, pathetic phainon but #he gets his way, plot device sunday, manipulation, brief mention of self-harm + suicide threat (it's used as a manipulation tactic), proofread to the best of my ability...
; becoming enamoured with phainon is an inevitability that you had no chance of ever resisting. but it stings how he'll never see you beyond a dear friend from kindergarten. the moment you move on, however, begins a shift in your dynamic with him -- he wants you back, desperately so.
; push-and-pull trope with phainon. oneshots masterlist can be seen here.
I. Love is a bitter fruit grown from trees.
βIβm Phainon! Whatβs your name?β
The first time you met him, his small hand reached out, waiting for you to take it. You did.Β
A duo is often composed of an extrovert and an introvert: at the age of seven, you knew full well who was who between you and your newfound friend, Phainon. He has a birthmark resembling that of the sun located at the side of his neck. It suits him well, you canβt think of anything but the sun when describing him. He shines like one, is warm like one, and basks everyone with his golden presence like one.Β
You wondered often: If he is the sun, then what would that make you?
Ideally, youβd be the complementary moon for him. During childhood, you tried to force it down your own throat by using the yellow crayon for him, and the blue one for you in your schoolwork doodles. Sun and moon, yellow and blue, light and dark β phainon and you. Growing up a bit more, you soon came to realise that you are no moon.Β
Youβre more of a sunflower who basks in his sunlight and greedily soaks up all his affection. Youβd hate to be the moon, for this meant youβd only rise when Phainon is gone β you prefer staying right by his side, a sidekick he can always count on.Β
A sidekick wearing your heart on your sleeves, shy but never quite ashamed of the sincere feelings youβve held for him growing up. A flower bud that slowly unfurls into a full bloom.
As your mother would lovingly refer to you both, you are: βTwo birds of a feather!βΒ
Your childhood memories of Aedes Elysiae, blurry some of them may be, are bathed in everlasting gold. While Phainon dragged you off to go play heroes or look through Cyreneβs cards together, you remember dropping pollen of your romantic affection, scattered across planes of time like trails of breadcrumbs left for him to decipher.Β
While the sun dipped into the horizon, you inched closer to him day by day, the fluttering in your heart evolves into a palpitation you can never stop, and small gifts handcrafted to show your admiration all gently whispered to him to βplease, take the hintβ. But reminiscent of an immovable stone, Phainon remained blissfully oblivious to the signs.
Cyrene certainly got them; her narrowing eyes and poorly hidden giggles as she sent you and Phainon away were enough of a testament. βIβm not feeling well today, you two can go on without me!β
Youβd linger at the edge of her front yard, unsure how to proceed with her help. At Phainonβs call however, you move to follow him β βokay, phai!β β trying to contain the dandelion seeds dancing around in your stomach when he leads you by the arm, not letting go despite arriving at your destination. You didnβt want to let go either, even with the sweat building up in your palm.Β
High school sprouts in your backyard as a tall and looming beanstalk that would force you both to grow up even more.Β
Phainonβs high-pitched voice starts cracking like eggshells, making way for a deeper tone yet still carrying that warm lilt he always had. You grow taller, still incomparable to Phainonβs own growth spurt, but a good few inches nonetheless. Your sense of style reshapes itself, old interests thrown out for newer ones, and the patch of land where youβd all play heroes together becomes forgotten, the trampled blades of grass outgrowing their original length.Β
You start favouring the comforts of your room over the blazing heat of the sun, beginning to find sweat as something you canβt stand and only coming out when Phainon pleads with you to do so.Β
He shines brighter in High School β his presence a beaming beacon of light as he walks through the hallways and enters classrooms. Being the sunflower that you are, you faithfully stayed by his side. Fawning crowds come and go, you donβt.Β
Your infatuation is exposed to those who arenβt Cyrene; childish people who never grew past the mental age of twelve tried to pick on you for always βSticking to phainon like some damn leech! Donβt have any other personality traits or something?β β the teasing didnβt last after Phainon punched one of them square in the face. His heroic act only dug your cove of feelings a little bit deeper.Β
Heβs your best friend and first love, a pillar of comfort you grew up with β you canβt imagine your life without Phainon. You pick up more hobbies, he joins more clubs he never expected he would, and you share your new life experiences with each other during lunch. Sometimes separated, but never for too long.Β
Several months flicker by, and during one of your high school Valentineβs, you received gifts from men who arenβt just Phainon.Β
Despite his locker overflowing with pink, glittery love notes and heart-shaped chocolates handmade out of sincerity, his gaze was pinned to the white envelope and bouquet of flowers you carried - neither of them is from him. His own gift is already hanging off your backpack, the cute sunflower keychain that it is.Β
βFrom a friend?β He asks, finally closing his locker before he risks more glitter explosions on the ground.
βI doubt it,β Heβs the only friend you have in this school, embarrassing it is to admit. Cyrene studies elsewhere. βBut theyβre cute.β
You see his tongue in cheek, and you dare let a seed of hope plant in the root of your heart. Is heβ¦ jealous? That makes you giddy. Tentatively, you ask, βYou think so too, right, Phainon?β
He grimaces, glancing one last time at the items in your embrace before smiling, βYeah, they are. Anyway, done with your locker? Let me carry your bag now.β
You nursed that seed of hope from then forth, slowly but steadily hoping more and more for the plausibility that he returns your feelings. It wouldnβt be too far off, surely β even if youβre not meant for each other in the end, you still want to try with him. You water that seed by dropping more subtle hints to Phainon, and you fertilize it by observing your best friend like an animal in a zoo, analyzing his minuscule actions and trying to correlate them to the mannerisms of βa guy with a secret crush on his best friendβ.
To be young is to be naive.Β
You didnβt need much. A simple βyou should go for it! Iβve been rooting for you two since we were all children!β from Cyrene carved out your decision to confess to Phainon near the end of high school.Β
In the end, ripped straight from the dramas you watched out of curiosity, you confess to Phainon at the height of spring after getting your high school diplomas; the scent of flowers in full bloom makes you sick with nostalgia and nerves simultaneously. Your family is off conversing with his parents, while you dragged him to a secluded spot in the school.Β
βUhmβ¦ Iβve liked you for a long time now, Phainon. Iβm not expecting you to return my feelings butβ¦β You leave it open-ended, too afraid to settle your confession definitively. You love him, actually - but love is a strong word that some donβt like to acknowledge. For his sake, you wonβt either.Β
A warm, gentle spring can never stay for too long. In the same breath, you, too, are forced to abandon the sunlight youβve known for several years at the sound of his discordant chuckle β the awkward smile etched on his face as his eyes could only look down at you in what you assume to be pity. You avert your gaze from his blue eyes, opting to stare into his birthmark instead.Β
βHey, of course I like you too - youβre my best friend! But we can always stay as friends, (Y/N). Youβre dear to me, you knowΒ β maybe notβ¦ like that, I just donβt want things to change between us.β
You experience the first and biggest heartbreak of your life just hours after graduating from High School. Your best friend Phainon does not reciprocate your feelings and instead wishes for your relationship to stay the same, locked into the tight box of βclose friendsβ he never plans on breaking. The seed-turned-plant of hope in your heart withers down to a sad, pathetic, dried-out flora.Β
Thatβs okay. Youβll be attending the same college as him, located far, far away β even if itβs not, you have to be okay.Β
After a few tense seconds of utter silence, you smile β the most carefree smile you can muster in that moment before enthusiastically nodding at him, βI get it! Donβt worry, Phainon. I totally get it. Uh, hey, I think Cyreneβs calling me. I have to take this phone call for a bit, okay? Letβs meet again later!βΒ
You bury that confession six feet under in your backyard, covered and only seen by inches of soil as you maintain your close friendship with Phainon. Best friends, close friends, friends - you are not to cross these labels unless you want to lose your close companion.Β
The months of free time leading up to college are nothing unusual, you spend it as you would in the past: Phainon picking you up on the front porch to spend the entire day together. Itβs either his or your room where youβll pour sweating buckets over study materials and banter over multiplayer games on his console.
Your heart still beats like drums just being in his vicinity alone, and it took you days of preparation to act like youβre unbothered when he invites you to his room β the walls and shelves containing time capsules from years before. Pressed white daisies you gifted him on his 10th birthday peeks out as his bookmark, and your kindergarten doodle of him as the sun proudly hangs above his bed, displayed as if itβs an artifact from the Belobog museum.Β
The most heartwrenching item is the printed photo sitting on his desk: itβs little him kissing little youβs frosting-smudged cheek at your 10th birthday party. The shock on your face is captured and frozen in time, a memory you both laugh about every month or so. 10th birthdayβ¦ Itβs the same age you realized you see him as more than a friend.Β
Seeing it for the umpteenth time never fails to steal the air from you; the ache never gets easier. You wish you could truly put these romantic feelings to rest in a coffin and seal it shut with a lid, never to be opened again.Β
βPhainon, next timeβ¦ letβs spend the day in my room.β
Seeing bits and pieces of you scattered around his room hurts more than him verbally rejecting you.Β
He grins, all teeth and gums, βSure!β
Even branches grow into a tree of their own, just as a fledgling must leave its nest.Β
Spring came and went, high school a chapter closed, and youβre now faced with attending school β college, you remind yourselfΒ β an ocean away from the familiar warmth of Aedes Elysiae. The wheat fields that were once taller than you, and Phainonβs house right next door, are all left behind momentarily. You canβt pocket your hometown to bring with you in Penacony, but at least you still have Phainon.Β
βEverything all settled?β He gently lets go of your dormβs wooden table, finally in its correct position, βThis layout is fine, right?β
βIt is,β You hand him a towel, itching to help with wiping off his sweat, βThanks, Phainon. You didnβt have to.β
βI wanted to, anything for you.β Anything for his dear best friend. He bumps your side before sitting down on the living room couch. You wanted him to stick around for a while longer, but heβs already out your door the moment he hears knocking β (βOh, your roommate is here! I need to go now, remember to call me if you need help, okay?β he pats your shoulder on the way out).Β
The patch of skin he briefly touched is still tingling when you see someone walk into the living room, luggage trailing right behind. A tall man with shoulder-length gray hair and kind yellow eyes bows at you in greeting. Heβs wearing a white cardigan with a blue sweater layered on top, the color alone reminds you of your best friend despite the difference in shades.
βHello, pardon my sudden entrance.β
β...Hi.β You donβt know how to talk to people beyond Phainon and Cyrene - standing around here is making you shy. βUhm, my name is (Y/N)... And you areβ¦?β
βI am Sunday,β His hand extends for a handshake, and you hesitantly follow suit. βItβs nice to meet you. I sincerely hope we get along.β
You nod, staring back into pools of liquid gold while shaking his hand,Β β...Yeah, letβs. And please donβt mind the succulents on the windowsill.β
II. A close-knit friendship withers in winter, in its place is a new one.
Much to your relief, your late-night fears of college drifting you and Phainon apart never come to fruition. It has the opposite effect, to your surprise. While not overdramatically countries away, Phainonβs dorm room is located a floor above - a notable difference from when he lived right next door to you. The added distance often has him visiting your dorm room unprompted (you kindly gave him a spare key in case of emergencies) and easily greeting a confused Sunday who just finished his classes for the day.
βCall me your third roommate β donβt worry, I help around!β Heβd joke. Using your headband to push his hair back, wearing a baggy tee and gray sweatpants, he makes himself at home. Sometimes doing his own homework or brings his gaming laptop along.Β
After the initial surprise, Sunday doesnβt mind his company β you certainly donβt.Β
Phainon waits for you outside your room to walk you to your class. He makes sure you sit next to him in the classes you share. He insists you join the same org as him, and predictably, you do.Β
You thought you buried your less-than-platonic feelings in your backyard; you truly did. But Phainon has your heart racing in excitement, rekindling the dying plant of hope. You still like him β truthfully, you never stopped liking him. But heβs closer to you now, a feat you previously thought to be impossible. The distance of just one floor away makes the heart grow fonder. Dare you say, clingy?Β
But he still remains your best friend. A clingy, touchy one β but your best friend.Β
Sunday discusses the topic on a slow, school-less night. Youβre in the living room finishing up the last plates needed to be washed when he suddenly chimes in, tone so sure of his words, βAh yes, I remember now. Please tell your boyfriend to stop entering our dorm past 11 PM. The faculty recently deployed a curfew; itβs best we follow it.β
The ceramic plate in your grasp almost crashes headfirst to the floor. Out of embarrassment, you refuse to turn around and face your roommate. Boyfriend. Boyfriend β only one person is a repeat visitor in your dorm room, and heβs nowhere near being your boyfriend.
Meekly, you set the plate down and correct him, βIβll inform him, butβ¦ Phainon isnβt my boyfriend.β
The silence that wafts through is more humiliation added onto your person. What is Sundayβs facial expression right now? Shocked? Ashamed?Β
He answers it for you: βI seeβ¦ This is quite mortifying, my sincere apologies.βΒ
But he continues, βYouβre both seen together, and he visits you so often, not to mention the look you give him, I got the idea thatβ¦β Iβll be sure to be more observant in the future. Again, my apologies.β
Youβre wiping the table clean when you reply, still angling your face away from his eyes, βItβs cool, donβt worry! No harm done! He and I are best friends, yesβ¦ the bestest of friends!β
You feel him raise a brow at that, βI donβt mean to pry, howeverβ¦β
Cyrene always chided you for being a pushover to those around you. In this instance, you hear her disapproving frown when you fold like a wet blanket, βWhatever it is youβre thinking β! I-itβs probably right.β
Wilted sunflower that you are, you mournfully face him with your eyes cast to the floor.Β
βAh. You like him?β
You slowly nod, a small part relieved that you now have someone other than Cyrene and Phainon to confide in. βDonβt tell him, pleaseβ¦β
βI wonβt.β
His bird-patterned socks enter at the edge of your vision. You slowly look up. Sunday is smiling at you, although a bit tense.Β
βPerhaps itβs a bit presumptuous of me considering weβve only known each other for months, butβ¦ They say Iβm a good listener. If you donβt mind, could you tell me more?β
Sunday is a Borage you unknowingly planted, only just now peaking when you need him most. Sitting side by side on your dormβs small couch, you gain an outsiderβs perspective on your years-long pining toward your best friend. He hears of your rejection and your still-persisting feelings. In the end, the advice he offered to you is:
βHe may not be stringing you along, but you still foster optimism in your heart. So long as you have it, you will never move forward past him. If you ask meβ¦ confess your love a second time; see if his opinion has changed.β
You gulp, βAnd if it doesnβt?β
He smiles, gentle as clouds, βBroaden your horizons permanently. Distance yourself if you must; your friendship will pick up once you settle your feelings.β
Winter break is soon; youβll need to go back to Aedes Elysiae in a few monthsβ time. Howeverβ¦
βIf itβs not too much. A-and I understand if you donβt want to! But, could I ask you toβ¦β
Sundayβs words continuously ring in your mind, repeating circles of βconfess your feelingsβ and βmove on,β bouncing off of one another. Coincidentally, Sunday is out for the afternoon when Phainon barges in a week later. Something about groupmates and βI wish you were in my groupβ going one ear and out the other as you nod at him in autopilot.Β
He picks up on your unusual behavior not even ten minutes in: brows raised to the sky and eerily getting close and personal with you, surveying your face like itβd shed off all the information he wanted. He retracts a few seconds later, less joking when he inquires, βSomething on your mind? Missing Aedes Elysiae?β
Hanging out in your small room like this, laptop opened to play some pirated action movie, and his class notes scattered around your bedsheets like autumn leavesβ¦Β
You shake your head, feeling the moment to follow Sundayβs advice is now. This is the perfect timing β no one else around to see your heartbroken face for a second time, and no Cyrene to find out youβre still hung up on him.Β
βPhainon, Iβ¦β
He shuffles closer to hear you better β traitorously, your heart clenches in affection.Β
βYeah?β
You take a deep breath, screwing your eyes shut, βI think I still like you.β
You downplay your feelings for the sake of self-preservation.
His breath hitches, βAh, thatβsββ
βIβm sorry.β You apologize, remorseful at how uncomfortable he must be right now, βI really tried, butβ¦β A deep breath, βIβll move on from you soon, I promise.β
βOh,β He pauses, staring anywhere but you, βUhmβ¦ sureβ¦ Iβm glad to have you, you know?β
You nod, too fragile to face him.Β
β...Youβre my first and dearest friend. I truly, really liked you, Phainon.β You love him so, so much.
βYouβre dear to me too, (Y/N). Forever and now.β
Youβve heard of an overseas concept where a person in an unrequited love begins to sprout flowers from within. You feel like thatβs happening to you right now with how unbearable heartbreak is β yellow carnations form from your bleeding heart, wormwood seizes your lungs in a tight embrace, and pink roses mix with your innards. Youβd cough out the feeling if you could; empty your stomach from all the flowers and be done with it.Β Β
Predictably, heβs quiet for the rest of the movie β immediately coming up with an excuse to leave your dorm room once the end credits begin rolling in. You break down into tears the moment the lock clicks in place. You cry for hours, long enough for Sunday to come knocking on your door, just knowing you managed to do it when he readily offers you one of his giantmoa pudding tarts.Β
Eyes puffy and snot stubbornly running down your nose, you take a bite and thank him through a mouthful of pastry. Itβd taste better if you werenβt so heartbroken. He gently rubs your shoulder in comfort.Β
βItβll be alright.β
Heβs rightβ But Phainon has always been by your side, rain or shine. The following months of his absence from your life will be akin to traversing a dark forest with no light source.
But thereβs light at the end of the tunnel; a rainbow at the end of the storm. When Sunday bans you from helping with chores that night, you know your heart will heal in time.
βThanks a lotβ¦ sunny.βΒ
He sighs in mock exasperation, βI see youβve picked up on that nickname too.β
The sun: Hey
The sun: I came by to pick you up, but for some reason, your roommateβs lying?? He said youβre not going back to aedes elsysiae this winter break??? And even denied me entry???Β
The sun: crazy right
The sun: Iβm right outside waiting for you rn
The sun: do you need help packing up? :)Β
You: No
You: Heβs telling the truth.
You: I wonβt be visiting for now. Maybe next semester break?
The sun: what
You havenβt read his one-word reply when your phone screen transitions to his contact photo with the text βThe sun is callingβ¦β displayed below. You sigh, reluctantly sliding to accept.
Even with speakers turned off, you hear him without pressing your phone against your ear: βWhat do you mean? Did something happen? Donβt tell me you and Auntie got into a fightβ¦! Donβt worry! Iβll act as the middleman like usu-β
βUhm, Phainon.β You cut him off.Β
βYeah?β
βItβs nothing like that, please donβt worry.β
He makes a sound of confusion, painfully close to a whimper, βSo thenβ¦ why arenβt you visiting our hometown with me?β
βBecause youβll be thereβ. βIβm busy with some personal matters here, donβt worry about me. Say hi to Snowy for me, okay?β
βNo, Iβm absolutely worrying about you β why not? We can visit them next week instead if youβre busy! Whyβ¦ why miss out on the entire winter break? Wonβt you be lonely here?β
βNo need, really! Enjoy aedes elysiae for me. And I wonβt be lonelyβ¦ so stop worrying so much, you softie. I have sunny with me.β
βSunnyβ¦? Yourβ¦ roommate? Sunday? Heβs staying here for winter break, too?β He sounds choked up from disbelief; youβd laugh if you werenβt battling against your resurfacing feelings from talking to him on the phone. βSunday?β
βYes, heβll take care of me. I swear!β
β...β
β...Phainon? Hello?β Did the call end already? You glance at your screen, frowning in confusion when you see that the call is still ongoing. Is he lagging on his end? But heβs outside of your dorm.Β
βIf you need anything,β He suddenly speaks up, βAnything β call me, please. If your roommate makes you sad or uncomfortable, tell me right away, okay? Iβll call you again the moment Iβm back in aedes elysiae. Stay safe, I love you.β
You flinch at his admission, knowing he didnβt mean it like that. βI knowβ¦ safe travels, Phainon.β
βPhai.β
βHuh?β
βCall me Phai. Isnβt that what you used to call me when we were kids? Whyβd you stop? Letβs bring it back.βΒ
You lie on your bed, pondering. Why did you stop? Perhaps since it was a nickname from childhood, you let go of it and hoped Phainon would see you more than justβ¦ his friend since diapers. It didnβt work, clearly. So you donβt mind calling him that shortened version of his name again.Β
βOkayβ¦ Safe travels, Phai.β
Despite your emboldened decision to ask Sunday to stay with you for winter break, you are still, at your core, a floundering, unsociable person. You have your moments of being bold and talkative, but itβs covered by leaves of quietude and slight stutters. Socializing is not your strong suit. Youβre not at the stage of being totally buddy-buddy with your roommate, but youβre slowly getting there.Β
Youβre glad you met Sunday. Had it not been for him, youβd still be stuck hopelessly waiting for a day thatβll never come: a phantom of the past whoβs deathly afraid of the future.Β
In the span of your one-month winter break, you get to know him better. Your roommate, whoβs a good listener is also an older brother to an idol trainee, has a trio of friends who roomed together a floor below, likes sweet treats, and ran away from his adoptive home after graduating high school.
Your profound respect for him only continued to grow, stalking across your shared living space like vines. While Phainonβs frequent messages, consisting of photos of Snowy and with your family, make your heart twinge in longing, you start ignoring them for the sake of progress. Heβll understand why a year from now, and youβll both laugh about it like the pair of best friends that you are.Β
Itβs not college that severs you and Phainon β itβs you yourself, but cutting off a branch from your tree does not mean itβs not allowed to grow a new one elsewhere.Β
III. Regret burgeons when everything is said and done.
Phainon: I feel like youβve been ignoring me lately
Phainon: did i upset you?
Phainon: :(Β
The Gen Ed courses you took unfortunately landed you in some shared classes with Phainon, the βsunnyβ side is that theyβre coincidentally shared with Sunday and his friends too. While anxious to meet them, he thoroughly reassured you that theyβre nice people.
βJust a bitβ¦ loud sometimes, I hope you donβt mind.β
You donβt β anything to physically get away from Phainon. The one-month winter break may have taught you to rely on him less, but seeing his face again might cause you to fold like paper. You see his unanswered texts when you close your eyes, and you hear his voice right before falling asleep. You miss him, but you know what must be done. When he visited you on the day he left Amphoreus, you and Sunday worked together to pretend that no one was home when he came knocking.Β
He stayed for hours before going up to his own floor.Β
Sunday sits on your left, and Stelle (A kind woman who is equal parts loud and quiet) on the other. Your new acquaintances, Dan Heng and March, are a row ahead.Β
βIβm telling you, (Y/N)! His nickname really is cold dragon young!β March cackles in glee, making sure to point at Dan Heng in case you mistake him for someone else.
He sighs, pushing down her finger, βThat was years ago, ignore her.β
Stelle chimes in, lazily putting her arm around your shoulder and whispering, βBecause he had a gachalife phase.β
Cold dragon young hisses at her to shut up, only to serve as fuel for their cackling. Entertained, you let out a few quiet chuckles at their display. You can never be happy for too long β the classroom door soon creaks open, familiar tufts of white hair peeking in not a moment later. The realization that itβs undoubtedly Phainon has you clammoring in your seat, sitting rigidly in attention.Β
Sunday gently rubs your back, eases you back to your current circle, Β βSorryβ¦!β
βItβs okay,β Sunday whispers back, sharing a glance with you.Β
βAh, (Y/N)! There you are! β¦And everyone too, hello!β Phainon greets from up front, hastily picking up his pace to approach your group. Facing you, he wastes no time firing question after question, βWhere were you yesterday? I waited around and tried the key you gave me, but it never worked. Did your phone break? I couldnβt contact you at all, I was so worried!β
You smile at him, βPhai, itβs nice to see you again. Sorry, we replaced our door lock with a new key for uhmβ¦ security reasons, Iβll try to get you a copy sometime. And noβ¦ my phone isnβt broken, I was just busy, thatβs all!β
He audibly sighs in relief, β...Really? Thatβs good, Iβm glad β I missed you a lot, you know?β Adjusting his bag strap, he nods to the unoccupied seats in the first row, βCome on, letβs sit.β
Stelle speaks for you, βOh, sheβs sitting with us.β
βHm? Right! Thank you for taking care of my best friend, but weβll get going nowββ
βNo, I mean sheβll be sitting with us for this class.βΒ
Phainon cocks his head, βSorry, can you repeat that?β
You meekly affirm, βIβmβ¦ sitting with them. Uh, theyβre really nice people, Sunny introduced me to them!β
βHuh?β He looks like a lost puppy on the verge of being abandoned, β...But our seats?β
βIβll try to sit with you next class!β
You never do: you sit next to Sunday in every single one of them and ignored the bewildered look on his face each time.Β
He beelines for you after dismissal, blue eyes so eager and pleading when he asks you,Β βLetβs get dinner together β my treat? It feels like I havenβt seen you in centuries.β
Only for you to scratch the back of your neck while shyly glancing at Sunday, βUhmβ¦ we already made plans after school. Sorry, Phai.β
βOh.β He steps back, letting you and Sunday pass by him to exit the room. His blue eyes follow you until they can no longer. Heβs left with himself when he mutters a bitter:
βI get it.β
βLet me carry that forβAh, Sundayβ¦?β
Heβs a second too late, but Phainon stubbornly clings to your bagβs front pocket, the very bag that the other man is already carrying. Youβre still in the bathroom when the professor dismisses the class.Β Wanting to do his usual duties, Phainon intended to carry your bag, butβ¦ someone already beat him to it. He smiles at him, polite, βThank you friend, but this is my thing, if youβd kindlyββ
Sundayβs lips curve into what seems to be a subtle mocking smile. He adjusts the bag closer to him before replying in a composed manner, βHow chivalrous of you, Mister Phainon. However, itβs not needed. See? I can carry it for her.β
Phainon sees it as clear as day.Β
Childishly, Phainon thinks he can carry it better than he can. Itβs what he always did for you since he still had some front teeth missing from his smile; itβs his duty, not your roommateβs.Β
He reluctantly lets go when you come up to thank Sunday, blatantly ignoring him just a few feet away. He enthusiastically greets you, but he still exists as an imaginary concept in your eyes. Whatβs going on? He ponders, watching you chat the world away with Sunday. What happened before that winter break that caused you to grow so tremendously close to that guy?Β
You said youβd give him a new copy of your dorm room, but youβre ignoring his texts, his existence, and now β letting someone else do his usual tasks. Seriously, what gives?
Sundayβs like a parasite attached to your hip, it unnerves and angers him.Β
Are youβ¦ trying to replace him? His heart threatens to drop just thinking about it.Β
You are.
You really are trying to replace him.Β
Sunday sits next to you, Sunday lives with you, Sunday eats with you, Sunday talks with you, Sunday texts with you, Sunday laughs with you β Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Every time Phainon is graced with your presence, itβs quick to sour from your notable companion by your side. Your new circle of friends too, Phainon sees it clear as day: you donβt want to be around them all the time, but youβre peer pressured into doing so. If Phainon was by your sideβ¦ he would never let that happen to you. Heβd punch them into blindness should they dare to make you inconvenienced.Β
Two birds of a feather β thatβs what your mother called him and you; A pair of friends so close you might as well be surgically joined together in the middle. When Seven-year-old Phainon first reached his hand out to you, his brain made the unconscious decision then: youβd be the sole irrevocable part of his life. Flowers bloom and wilt; they experience a death of their own, but under Phainonβs sunlight, he promised that heβd never let a sunflower like you be anything less than thriving.
He leads and you follow, only so heβd be the one to be hurt when braving the unknown. Scraped knees and bruised patches of skin are nothing because youβre not hurt. He shines so you can comfortably hide under the shade β youβre not one for people, heβs fine with the way you are. He adjusts around your existence, a mold of comfort that perfectly fits none but you. Heβs your fighter and protector; sword and shield.Β
Skipping rocks on a nearby lake, teasing Cyrene together, learning from her cards, and discovering a poor abandoned puppy whoβd eventually be named βSnowyβ are all flashing strings of gold in his memories. Moments carefully planted in his own backyard and given regular maintenance lest he start neglecting them.Β
He loves you, of course he does. There is nothing purer in this world than his love for you; a flower specially nursed and plucked with the greatest care, a beauty unparalleled for itβs fertilized from the attention you give him.Β
His room is centered around you; every item given is meticulously stored and given a special place. The polaroids, your kindergarten doodles, the yellow crayon you gave him, your pressed flowers β he still has it, even brought it along to his dorm room, where heβs embraced by your presence every night before sleep.Β
He loves you, he knows this well in his heart. But Phainon is simply not worthy of you. His love for you is pure, but he, as a person, is not. A Sun can also be damaging to a sunflower β he is the filth to your pure, the actual darkness to light.Β
Is it because he refused your confession?
He preserves you because no one in this world deserves you, but must you go ahead and leave him for dead after finding a different sun to seek sunlight from? Sundayβ¦ What does he have that Phainon does not? Is he the better him? Does he treat you kinder than he does?Β
Sunday is far from holy. If anything, heβs the snake trying to lure you to ruin. You donβt know any better, hence why Phainon is around to protect you.Β
This is the biggest hurdle youβve ever faced together, and with his heart being torn to pieces by your own gardening tools, heβll make it right. He always goes. Heβll make it right, heβll get you back, and you two can go back to the way you were before β just more. Friends, best friends, lovers, and everything in between, heβll really give it all to you.Β
Sundayβ¦ heβs poisoned your mind and rotted your pure soul.Β
IV. Desperation is a seed planted long, long ago β still, spring has come.
βThank you for sticking around me, Phai.β
Heβs in the middle of starting a pathetic fire using twigs and stone when you blurt out cryptic words beside him. He hums, continuing his work, βWhat do you mean?β
βCanβt I just say thank you!?β You fluster, quickly standing up and pacing around the edge of the forest youβve both designated as your βcamping spotβ. βMama said itβs nice to thank people! So, uhm- Thank you for being my friend, please never stop being my best friend!β
ββCourse I wonβt!β Phainon toothily grins, fluffy white hair gaining a slight bounce from his motions, βActually, Iβll never abandon you. Ever!β
You perk up like a sunflower dancing in the wind, βReally!?β
The fire finally sparks to life, small and flickering, but there. At the same time, he gazes deep into your eyes, only knowing nothing else but sincerity at such an age, βYeah! I swear!β
A yelp, βSwearing is bad!β
Phainonβs eyes blearily blink open. His dorm room ceiling greets him first thing in the morning.
Phainon stalks and waits like a deep-rooted willow tree. He strikes you when he knows youβre alone. It all falls into place: Sundayβs trainee sister is dropping by a different part of the city over the weekend; logic dictates that he wonβt be coming back to his dorm room until then. Your close proximity to Sunday will momentarily halt, and Phainon is free to slither in.
Heβs waiting right outside your dorm room when you come walking down the long hallway, body language all languid, even resting against the paint-chipped-off stone pillar while scrolling through his social media feed,
Youβd spot him a mile away, and seeing him without Sunday by your side makes you hesitate all the more. Your stupid heart starts speeding up.Β
βI just want to talk,β He calls out, pocketing his phone to spread his arms wide open for a hug, βI miss you, is that too much to ask?β
You slowly approach him, β...No, I missed you too.β
You miss him. You miss him. You miss him. Youβve been holding your sunflower keychain as your nightly comfort or else youβd end up calling his number at 2AM.Β
Phainon smiles, βReally?β
βYesβ¦ I just gotβ¦ busy, thatβs all.β
He smiles wider, blue eyes turning into blue crescent moons, βReally?β
β...Yes.β His hand gently pries the keys out of your hand; you let him.
You hear Sunday screaming on your shoulder, telling you that your blase facade is quickly falling apart at the seams. Unaffected, unmoved β youβre nothing of the sort right now. Youβre a sunflower whoβs been starved of sunlight for too long.Β
With a click, he opens the door for you and softly murmurs, βYouβve been hurting me a lot, (Y/N). You know that, right? But I understand, itβs not your fault.β
You step inside, letting him lock the door behind you, βNotβ¦ my fault?β
He shakes his head, hands firmly grasping your shoulders to sit you down on the small couch, βNo, itβs mine.β
Immediately you protest, βThatβs not true. We just drifted apartββ
Once more, he shakes his head before dropping to his knees before you. The sudden action makes you flinch, growing more uncertain when he holds your hand in his. Phainonβs eyes remind you of butterfly peas from up this close.Β
Heβs quiet when he speaks, a deep rasp overtaking his voice, β...You donβt understand: I miss you.β
You understand what he means. Parting from Phainon is disorienting. Sunday and his friends may have managed to fill the gaping hole in your heart, but itβs incomparable to Phainonβs presence.Β
Are you a bad person for not finding satisfaction in your new friends? Are you sick in the end to still crave Phainon after being rejected two times? Is this what you get for sticking by his side for so long?
It probably is.Β
He continues speaking, βIβm sorry for pushing you away; that was never my intention. I wasnβt lying when I said youβre dear to me β you truly are. I never wanted to pursue a relationship with you because, Iβ Iβm too lowly for you. I would only taint you.β
You run your fingers through his hair, reminiscing on all the nights you spent crying over him β it still bleeds like fresh wounds, βThatβs ridiculous, Phainon. Iβm not some holy figure to taint. I was just a girl in love with her best friend.β
βI know, but youβ¦ you donβt understand. Youβre everything to me.β
βYouβre everything to me, too, thatβs why I loved you.β You still do.
βI think of you first thing in the morning. I brush my hair wondering how Iβll spend the day with you, I eat breakfast, thinking what yours was at that moment, I kept the homework you threw out. I always hate it when I talk to people who arenβt you. I still have the twigs you gave me during our 6th-grade camping trip. The reason the pressed flowers you were planning on giving out during high school graduation went missing is that I stole them β I didnβt want anyone else owning a piece of you. I make sure youβre always too shy to stand up for yourself, so I can save you. Iβ¦ I hate Sunday for getting into your head β it should only be me. I should be the one you hate and love. I β youβre everything to me.β
His grip tightens, blunt fingernails leaving indents on your own fingers, βIβm sorry, please take me back. Iβm unworthy, but I donβt want you to be happy with anyone else. I started cutting myself when you refused to go back to Aedes Elysiae with me β I donβt want to live in a world where Iβm not by your side. Please. Iβll kill myself if you leave me. I really will.β
You swallow the saliva pooling in your mouth.
If Phainon is the sun that will incinerate you and your sunflower petals for getting too close, the question it poses is: Do you let it consume you whole? To forgive and forget, starting a new chapter anew in the process?
kill yourself or let (y/n) have friends and move on from you
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itβs a gameβthe way you always end up face down on the couch late at night watching tv in nothing but a t-shirt and your underwear. the way you always seem to kick off the blanket right before hitoshi gets home from his patrol shift.
the way you both pretend youβre fast asleep when he gently tugs your panties to the side and strokes a finger through your slit. the way you donβt make a sound as he unzips his pants. as he climbs over top of you and sinks his cock into your soaking wet heat.
the way you pretend like youβre sleeping through each rough thrust as he buries himself in your cunt over and over. as he acts like you canβt hear how he groans with each soaked squelch.
as he murmurs some empty string of apologies while heβs spilling a fat hot load of cum deep inside of you. as he leaves a filthy, dripping mess between your legs and you donβt complain because youβre just going to fuck it right back inside with a vibrator when you get to your room.
hitoshi shrugs after you cheekily tell him not to wait up for you as you flounce out of your room in a skirt and tank top that hardly leave anything to the imagination. he ends up standing in the middle of the kitchen palming himself through his sweatpants long after the front door swings shut.
yet youβre already home when he gets back from his shift, horizontal on the couch with a pair of white cotton panties on full display beneath your rucked up little skirt. body twisted just enough to show the swell of your tits spilling from the neckline of your top.
hitoshi inhales sharply when he starts to ease his cock inside of you only to be met with a sloppy mess of cum. the sick, twisted sense of satisfaction has him snapping his hips, burying himself inside of you balls deep in one rough stroke.
you donβt mean to moan his name into the pillow, but he hears the muffled sound loud and clear.
βdate didnβt fuck you good enough?β he murmurs against the shell of your ear.
you can feel the way he smiles as you exhale a shaky whine when he slowly pulls out until all thatβs left is the tip. your dateβs cum drips down your thighs. saliva pools in the back of your throat. your swollen clit aches.
hand wrapped around his cock, hitoshi teases your wet folds with the tip until youβre nearly sobbing, pussy trembling.
you nod, and he responds with a soft, satisfied sigh before he plunges back inside of you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming