Just-J

step 1

step 2

step 3

1. borrowing misery from future

2. carrying grief of the past

Pa, holding the baby: So this is our great-grandson?

Clark: No, Pa, not-

Pa, glaring at Clark: This is our great-grandson, Clark. Our great-grandboy.

Clark: He has Conner's DNA and Tim's, he's like Conner was, not really-

Pa, adamantly: I'm a farmer, Clark. I know all about DNA and genes and I got to say, he's got my nose. Like you did.

Clark: Sure, pop.

Ma, holding her great-grandson: You remind me so much of your grandpa. But you won't chew on my vacuum cleaner, won't you? No, you won't, because your mommy is so clever, isn't he? Tim, dear, have another cookie.

Tim, full to bursting: Mrs Kent-

Ma: You know full well that it's Ma. And you need your strength. Now, once you're done your cookies, you go have a lie down, you hear?

Lois, eyeing Clark pushing a pram: Did you fuck Bruce Wayne again?

Wally, slightly tipsy: Hear that, Roy? wE hAvE tO Be qUIeT.

Roy: Oh come on, Dick, you think the big bad Bat's going to yell at us for coming here late? It's not like you Bats ever sleep anyway.

Dick: No, not Bruce.

Wally: Alfred-

Dick: It's Duke.

Roy: Duke? The kid in the yellow? With the light show? You're afraid of him?

Dick, shhhing them: He's the day shift. He's sleeping. If you fucking wake him-

Duke, appearing at the top of the stairs: Hello Richard.

Dick:

Wally: Sorry to wake you, Duke.

Roy: We're just heading to bed now.

Duke: *walks away*

Wally: The great scary Nightwing afraid of a kid.

*at dawn*

Duke: *opens door to Dick's room where Wally is sleeping next to Dick and Roy is sleeping on the floor*

Duke: *flashbangs the fuck out of them*

Wally: *screaming*

Roy: *screaming*

Dick, punching the shit outta two face: oh shit B, I never told you I like boys. And girls

Two face: wtf

Batman: Harvey are you.....homophobic?

Two face: WHAT!? No dude, but why did that pop into Robin's head while he was beating the shit outta me???

Dick: shrugs

Batman: Whatever, Robin I support you unconditionally

------

Jason, having just revealed that he is back from the dead, and is , in fact, red hood

Jason: Also I'm gay

Dick: wow. Shocker.

Jason: shut up you fag

Batman: Hood, don't call Nightwing that slur.

Jason: who tf do you think U are?? My dad??

Batman: I'm just glad ur back and I support you.

Jason: hell no old man- (his back from the dead rant/speech continues)

-------

Tim, seconds after crashing the bat mobile

Tim: I'm bi.

Batman: I support you, but what does this have to do with you crashing the bat mobile?

Tim: if you punish me your homophobic.

Dick: dam he got you there B

------

Damian, turning to Bruce while they're patrolling on rooftops

Damian: Father, I like boys and I'm dating Jon Kent

Batman: Alright I suppo- JON KENT!?!?

Damian: yes.

Batman: I-ive let you have sleepovers with your BOYFRIEND????? OH UR SO GROUNDED

-----

Cass, hanging upside down as batgirl

Cass: I like girls

Batman: I support you

--------

Steph, yelling from the other side of an alley

Steph: B! IM BI

Batman: Cool.

Steph: Really? That's it?

Examples:

Buying the Kent Farm. He couldn't buy the house outright, it would draw far too much attention and link his and Clark's identies, even with several steps in between. So Bruce bought the bank, then the Farm.

In Batman Begins, he buys certain gear in bulk to avoid suspicion. He gets thousands/millions of cowl prototype bases because buying ten would be strange.

All of the journalistic manuvering. It's very look here, don't look there. It's artistic. It's sleight of hand with the media. "Brucie falls into a fountain the same night Batman needs to take a night off" no, even better. Bruce, as Brucie, captures attention in a way that doesn't let you even realize that you should be paying attention to something else. He isn't taking away your attention. He has it, and that's the point.

The painstaking and painful steps he takes to fund and oversee the Justice League while maintaining credible distance. The fact that he's able to spin it as CSR without anyone putting the pieces together is impressive.

Tech/behaviors he employs to ensure the government thinks Batman is a low-level vigilante with limited access to complex resources.

*faint shuffling noises*

Damian: ...like this?

Faint male voice: you gotta flick your wrist a little more,

Damian: oh- like that?

Faint male voice: there you go,

*connecting ping*

Tim: yo, Robin, you on your own tonight? i'm bored, come get waffles with me.

Damian: uh- sure, can Clarance come?

Tim: if that's the name of another mutant animal you're trying to tame, no.

Damian: no, the magician. say hi to Red Robin, Clarance.

Faint male voice: oh- uh, *awkward throat clear* um, hi, Red Robin.

Tim: wait wait wait- are you with that stage magician Hood has a vendetta against? the one he thinks is a meta because he can't figure out how he does his card tricks?

Damian: yeah. Hood has dragged him into our shit so much we've gotten to know each other.

*silence*

Tim: so you guys just... hang out? the two of you?

Damian: he's a decent guy when you get to know him. he volunteers at one of the animal shelters in the Narrows.

Tim: you've made friends with a civilian that Hood calls his 'greatest enemy'?

Damian, tired: Hood has about twelve civilian 'greatest enemies'. Clarance is fine, Hood just can't stand the fact that he has honour and wont snitch on how he does his tricks.

Faint male voice: yeah- i really don't understand why he keeps buying tickets to my shows if he knows he doesn't like the magic. like, that's the whole point...

Damian, without missing a beat: his version of self harm.

Tim: *abrupt snort*

Faint male voice: well he keeps tying me up and talking about needing to 'register me' with some sort of bat-laptop or something. maybe if you just register me like he says, then he'll feel better about me?

Tim, amused: oh my god, no, why is this man actually really sweet?

Damian: no, Clarance, Hood makes that up. we don't 'register' metas unless they're active rogues terrorising the city on a monthly basis. he just likes to spout bullshit when he's annoyed.

Faint male voice: oh...

Damian: worry not, he will get over himself in a few months when somebody else pisses him off and he makes enemies with them. for now, would you like to join me and Red Robin for waffles?

Faint male voice: uh... i mean, if Red Robin is ok with it then i guess i am kinda hungry?

Tim: i'll meet you at the usual place. the fuck do you guys even do when you hang out together?

Damian: oh, i'm making him teach me his card tricks so i can use them on Hood whenever he pisses me off.

*silence*

Tim, choking up: god- man, Robin, i fucking love you.

Scientists invented a fake disease. AI told people it was real: Nature.com