The show does make a point of calling out how her actions hurt those around her. They literally show how she drove two people to suicide and someone actively recovering from the trauma of her abuse.
Gangle's character arc is literally going from being in fawn response and terrified of Jax to living a life outside of that fear. She becomes more confident in herself, pursues her passions and desires, processes her feelings and forms safe, strong emotional bonds with other people. She heals from Jax's abuse. If the show condoned those actions they wouldn't bother writing a character like Gangle.
And after Jax abstracts everyone grieves her differently.
Ragatha had already gone through the grief of losing her as a friend, so she alludes to that and deals with the bargaining stage first, because she wonders if insisting on staying friends with Jax would have prevented her suicide. We don't see the effects of Jax's abuse of Ragatha in this moment because she had already been processing that this whole time, because the loss of their friendship happened right as Jax was slipping into those abusive, avoidant behaviors.
Pomni, being the closest thing to a friend Jax could get to after the whole ordeal with Ribbit and Kaufmo, is the one to look for her abstracted form and try to calm her down first. She's the only one who can actually reach out to Jax in that vulnerable state and patch up the wound enough that everyone else doesn't get soaked in all the blood gushing out.
Zooble is angry, because their relationship to Jax was mostly just calling her out on her bullshit when it got too much and ignoring her when she was being cruel just because she needed attention. They're important to each other within the narrative and their character themes, not in their actual relationship with each other.
But Gangle? She deals with the relief of her abuser not being there anymore first. She asks "why can't I cry for him?" because of course the first emotion she feels wouldn't be sorrow. I love that they point that out, and I love the "having complex thoughts?" scene.
Gangle is only able to sincerely cry about Jax's death after they build the pillow forth, because that's also when Jax gets humanized for the first time for everyone that isn't Pomni. That's when Jax is finally the vulnerable one in the community, and she's dependent on everyone's care and empathy; that's when Gangle can safely see Jax as something other than a threat or an asshole, and she can show Jax kindness without compromising her own safety.
I think everything else about Jax being deserving of empathy is literal enough in the text.
If Jax doesn't open herself up, she can never get help. If Jax doesn't admit to her mistakes and work towards doing better, she can't be forgiven. Surprise! That's Caine's arc in those awkward last few minutes of the last episode. The show makes a point of her having to make an effort too, just as much as it does of saying that she's deserving of empathy, of an opportunity, of understanding.
The point all along is that without empathy we can't build a community, and without a community life is absolutely miserable. "It's a lot of work, but it won't be a lot of work alone."
We have the coming out analogy, we have the trans subtext, but the point is not "here is transgender representation!", it's "we need human connection to live good lives!"
And if what you take away from the show is "Jax is bad trans representation because she's a bad person" then I'm sorry but go build your literacy skills before speaking out. Sanitizing representation reduces us to blank stereotypes, and we should want trans people to be seen as humans, not paper cutouts. Humans are messy, humans make mistakes, humans can be cruel.
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