Ghoulish Goblin

The Trans Expression (Zooble and Jax)

Going off the IRL counterparts: Zooble and ESPECIALLY Jax are heavily influenced by scene/emo attire of the early 2010's. Which was where a lot of Queer kids/teens flocked to at the time, since a large portion of the Youth did not have easy access or awareness of rainbow clubs or had the safe spaces to be openly queer compared to today. (Human Jax especially exemplifies the attire of the time (skinny jeans, medium cut straightened hair that's been appropriated by some Karen's(TM), lots of dark colors, chains).

As a collective it was the first place where people in the millennial generation who did not feel comfortable in the Gen X Oversaturated wacky colors, or the Boomers strictly and sometimes religious gendered world, could reclaim some sense of self. As an Emo Goth myself: it was one of the first places where I was meeting people who didn't dress or act in the way any of us were expected to. There were guys in fishnet stockings, Girls in three piece black suits, and of course the deep black and corpse blue makeup. Everyone just reclaiming a sense of self among an authority that disparaged our expression of self.

Not a lot of CisHet folks think about their clothing like Queer folks do. And for a lot of Trans folks who are curious; often experiment with the kinds of clothes they wear first. They may not start out with the clear gender divide things like pants and skirts. But I've seen many people in Scene who maybe didn't wear rings or piercings elsewhere else except those spaces, often for safety. After all there was a prevailing calling card for gay men at the time to have a single left pierced ear. Or colored bandana's in certain pockets. Subtle messages that were growing more well known in the mainstream and therefor dangerous to have in a world that still had criminal laws against the loosely defined "sodomy".

Clothing for Queer people is often the first and continuous part of their gender exploration and identity. So to have "Jax" in -what for the majority age group (Minus Kinger and Caine)- was an alt outsider outfit, that was both rejection of society and the toe dip into unknown queerness, is telling of Jax's trans-ness or at least his questioning identity.

A little on the nose but As previously stated: Queerness pre-2010's was....hell if you were, and deadly in the wrong crowd. It's why the term "in/out of the closet" exists in the first place. Because coming out was an extreme risk of life, liberties, rights even! Isolation wasn't just a matter of no one accepting who you were on the Rainbow. It was also a matter of life or death in the worse case scenarios.

Which for Jax: Living in an abusive home with a Father who likely lived and died by Boomer gender rules, while his mom -while not wholly accepting- did not actually understand Jax and contributed further to Jax's harm. Nor did their Father's departure help anything. After all, as a boomer mother without a Husband: she likely relied on Jax's dad for everything. And as a biological son those old expectation of gender roles comes crashing into Jax's self identity. No matter how supportive she might have been of Jax being a woman. Jax's mom -in the fit of grief after her husband's leaving- had no other social scripts to lean on, harming her child by forcing the male role on Jax. Whether because she didn't have the life skills to hold a job in the modern age, who knows.

Given the ease with gun handling and the electrocution/skin stripping nightmares. I would also hazard a guess that Jax was threatened with death by his parents, and put into electroshock therapy within Conversion Therapy practices. Which survivors of the practice often say is humiliating, shaming, and traumatizing.

As is so often the case with Elderly folks who have not practiced continual curiosity, tolerance, and acceptance of others and their differences from the self. Jax's mom could not break from her own ridged expectations and adapt to her new needs. Pushing Jax into the roles and "treatment plans" that were clearly against Jax's own self identity. And it broke Jax both mentally and physically.

Zooble also had this struggle, but due to their career and the effort they made. Were able to build up a social network that supported them as they are. So much so they opened their own safe place for others. They had the community support that Jax did not find. Not in the circus. And barely starting IRL at the end of Episode 9. Thus spared from abstraction and survival mode/suicide we see Jax enduring during the show.

The differences could be no less stark in comparing Jax and Zooble: and the only major difference was who in their environment accepted them as they are.

Coping with the inability to physically be oneself is one of the more daunting aspects of Trans experiences. As there's a heavy handed symbolism for Zooble and Jax's inability to look in the mirror and see "Zooble or Jax". as they would view themselves to be.

Zoobles patchwork parts rearrangement, while allowing them to obtain a broad range of expression. lack the certainty they seek. a certainty their IRL counterpart got when they opened their own Bar. Its Why Zooble's torment is looking upon all these parts of themself and being dragged down by the weight of imperfect self creation. Mirrors are their trigger for Dysphoria and mental decline. Which leads me to also beleive that Caine got the "therapy idea" from them first! Since that's an aspect of mental health that can be discussed with a therapist to design coping mechanisms or processed and goals to get closer to self acceptance. Considering the lack of known gender before their Non-binary identity, and with how comfortable they are with their identity in the conversation with Gangle in Episode 6: Zooble has likely confronted their own internalized prejudices and social gender. and now lives -not wholly comfortable- but far more accepting and prepared to handle their gender identity in a social setting.

Jax cross-dressing/self harm language on the flip side, is the reinforcing negative self talk that spirals often into depression and suicidal ideation. I want to emphasize that Cross-dressing for fun or work(acting/theater) is A-OK to do on it's own. You don't need to be trans to wear an outfit that is oppositional to the gender you feel is correct for yourself.

However, Jax's reaction to the maid outfit, and especially the "Shut Up" towards the Locked/chained door in his Abstracted subconscious, is VERY common among people raised in the Machismo mindset of "manly man self reliant emotionless authority". The Youth would recognize it in the Far right/MAGA sphere, but it's still a prevailing issue in a LOT of patriarchal organized societies. In which if you are born a man: there is a heavy expectation that you will behave, dress, act, and *be* a man all your life. Even if it means locking away a part of yourself forever.

Every time Jax makes references to the TADC being a dream or not real, or how it's all a joke, "he's the funny one", How the rabitoid body is "Peak masculinity"; It's all a self reinforcing commentary on the Strong Man stereotype, and distancing of who Jax is as a person to a role or object. All the insults he hurls about Ragatha's offers of help and her willingness to listening to other's problems being disingenuous, or Gangle being Emotional, Pomni and Ribbit digging in for "something to fix"; is further reinforcement of the Patriarchal standards of men's existence and why Jax sometimes comes off as believing himself better than everyone else in the circus save for Caine + Kinger (male authority above Jax).

All of that mental reinforcement of negative mannerisms against other circus members only further adds to the division and social isolation Jax deals with. Because when you're chasing potential friends away with your own perceptions of "What is Real/What's allowed for others", You're Going To Have A Bad Time Making Friends And Keeping Them. De-personalization, Gender related PTSD, coupled with aggressive self-preservation techniques from an abusive home. . . It's the toxicity of the whole American Man in one purple rabbit character. Is it any wonder why people don't like Jax on the surface? When pre finale Jax is everything about a human man a majority of society cannot stand to tolerate anymore.

If you've been paying attention so far: You'll have noticed the emphasis of other's perception of Zooble and Jax in relation to their gender identity and mental health. That's because our understanding of personal identity is a collage of what external experiences we have, who we hang out with, where we go, what we learn about ourselves through others, the mirror in your bathroom is a 1 dimensional aspect that lacks the social dimensions of your interpersonal and cultural relationships. Gender as a whole is complex and reliant upon our social circles and interactions with the world around us. Especially among Friends, intimate relationships, Culture, society, and authorities before us.

The Friends (Pomni, Kaufmo)

When I talk of friends, I'm talking about the Queer Allies, the acquaintances, the friendships, the people who are not intimately involved, but who do not discriminate against LGBT+ individuals. people like Pomni and Kaufmo, people who we see supporting their fellow cast members regardless of personal identity or interests. Who offer support to people like Zooble and Jax in reinforcing their identity, respecting their interests and ideas as important, even if it may cause conflict. Or just not treating them any differently (in Kaufmo's case)

The allies are where a lot of Queer support comes from. Regardless of how you feel about CisHet's or your straight coworker, or the guy who's got a bad attitude. If they have the spirit: They are important to have in queer spaces. Not only to normalize queer identities and sexuality, but to also open the door to people who may not have known such diversity could even exist before!

Zooble no doubt got a lot of support prior to being scanned into the Digital Circus.

Jax on the flip side absolutely had that support in the Circus, but NEVER outside the digital circus. Jax was unable to reconcile the shear separation of Reality and the Digital experience.

Because if it Was Not Real: then Jax's is allowed to explore and grow into a more genderfuild/feminine person in whatever manner allows him to brush any "challenge" to his "masculinity" as a "It's just a dream/game/unreal." Excuse.

But it is real, As exposed in Episode 9. It's real. Which means all the play with gender norms and what Jax thinks of himself is real. Couple the reality of his gender questioning, with all the social and cultural pressures of a gender binary that still exist, AND the horror of all your actions before and after the circus as causing real harm to your friends: It's no wonder Jax abstracted! Jax's has to face not only his own gender identity after being there so long he was comfortable playing up in the "fake circus" in his head. He has to content with the fact that his confession and subsequent Trauma related rejection and self-isolating/aggressive behavior made Ribbit and Kaufmo abstract.

It's fucked up, but not unfortunately outside the realm of reality. How often do you hear about someone committing suicide, because there was no one in their life anymore. Or people who actually wanted to be with the depressed person? You've no doubt read the best cure for Depression is Community. The same applies to a lot of Queer specific issues like Dysphoria.

Friends who are there for the LGBT+, who are involved with rainbow organizations, or who outside rainbow clubs insist and demand the acceptance of trans people as they are, not who they were. Reinforces the security of Community, reducing the likelihood of Depression taking over. A safe space is a safe space. And everyone who are worried or lost about who they are need friends to help reaffirm their existence that makes them the happiest. Whether that comes in the form of getting a new wardrobe, helping someone recover from surgeries, or just going with someone's preferred name and pronouns, or listening to their woes. Zooble and Jax had support in the circus a lot of Queer folks don't often find until well into their 30's if they're not lucky to have it at home. But that support comes with the understanding that you're not going to behave like an asshole 24/7.

Pomni I suspect is the baby queer. Just learning about herself and coming in with an optimism and gaining confidence in her friends. She's not from the worst situation of the lot, and there's a few we don't know. But people who come into new situations with open curiosity and a willing to correct and be corrected is invaluable for a friend.

Kaufmo: While we don't know a lot about Kaufmo on the outside. I'm willing to bet that he and Jax spent a LOT of time just tearing into the Machismo mentality. Given how long Kaufmo was around after Ribbit abstracted too, it was likely he was a steadfast and committed friend. The office buddy that's friendly by the water cooler. Not out there, but definitely there. At least a reliable one for Jax before the PTSD related lashing out Jax did.

The Parents (Kinger, Ragatha, Jax's Parents)

Of all the heavy handed influences in everyone lives: Parent's, Grandparents, and other close relatives are by and far the BIGGEST modeling for individuals when they are developing a self image and understanding of how the world operates.

Kinger is by in far one of the healthiest parental figures I've seen in media recently. Even with the odd ball antics and memory issues: The core of Kinger's personality is one of unconditional support and stability (Ironic given the mental instability). The way he accepts Everyone who comes in to the circus after the starting group, the way he supports Pomni, Ragatha, and the rest of them, The manner in which he allows them to reach out to him for advice rather than helicoptering over them all.

I suspect Kinger and Jax have friction not because Kinger was mentally insane and Jax was an asshole. But because Jax eventually realized that the parenting style that Kinger represents is so far removed from what he experienced. that like many other abused kids Jax realized that his own parents COULD have been this supportive and accepting. but chose not to be. and thus harbored repressed anger and lashed at Kinger for being the kind of parent he needed but didn't get.

Ragatha really reminds me of my own parents, who while abused as kids grew up into adults who chose to never become their abusers. Who made sure to behave in ways that would further prevent their own corruption of sorts, while also modeling respectful behavior for myself and my siblings. Who's experiences in abusive situations helps others achieve what they need to become better as well. Living motto of the "I'm going to be better than X" mentality.

Which is another mix-wired red flag warning for Jax. Because if someone could go through what he did and choose kindness rather than sarcasm and stereotype boxing: then there's a whole ball of internalized feelings that need to be untangled to break out of that self harming/lash out cycle he's stuck in!

Combine that With Zooble's unwillingness to be misgendered or insulted with his characteristic backhanded humor. And Pomni's stalwart determination to break through his own masking: and you get a Jax who doesn't have a leg to continue believing his own lies about his situation in the circus. though all prior experiences tell him the opposite.

People like these often have resources already on hand, or at least know what it feels like to experience certain events. While others in the circus may not have gone to Conversion Therapy like Jax, there were still bridges of repeatability between all of them that Jax could have connected with and likely spent time commiserating on. No doubt Ragatha and Jax would have had the best venting sessions over their abusive parents.

And if he took the chance in the show: He likely would have found his own identity and support and had the community to help him heal. But like all good things, there are some history that can positively or negatively impact the future.

The Romantics (Gangle, Ribbit)

Mind, When I say "romantic" I'm referring to those who may have a romance in the show, but ultimately are people who wholeheartedly accept their friends without judgement or question. Those who accept the transition of their friends. Who fit into the broader interests of romantics, without explicit sexual needs (save for Gangle's case). The people who go into Queer spaces or into Queer Folk's lives with the understanding or willingness to experience such deeply personal and often terrifying feelings with their friend/partner.

Kind of like Poets who speak of the forest in a romantic way. You're not fucking a tree, but you still appreciate the beauty of the tree. Ya know? That kind of romance.

Ribbit Honestly feels like the distant romantic: The straight that misunderstands and unfortunately gets confused by the mental health part of trans experience. Who none the less wants to be an ally and help Jax and be friends. At the very least reassure Jax that what happened before he joined the circus wasn't as catastrophic as previously believed. But the approach and attempted levity fell flat.

"I'm sure she's fine." Is a dismissive statement. especially for someone who is in the same trapped unknowing situation as Jax could make. It's not a reassurance if one doesn't know the answers.

"I mean, if the police never came after you, then she was probably fine." While a little more helpful -since there was a space of time between the push and Jax's arrival- this statement, again, loops into that same dismissive statement as before.

Dismissive statements that sent Jax into a panic: "I've overshared. This is embarrassing. If you tell anyone about this I'm never speaking to you again. Why am I such an Idiot." All attempts of the Machismo to come through.

And then comes in Ribbit with the unintentional shove: The Bow, paired with the words "You're secret is safe with me."

As if Jax being trans was still a shame to experience in the Digital Circus too.

Ribbit unfortunately in her attempt to connect with Jax, likely inadvertently triggered his Trauma that came with his Mother's abuse

Ribbit who did not give Jax the space to process his confession. Ribbit who pushed the very next day to apologize for prying too hard into Jax's life, giving him the easy disconnecting cop-out (you thought that was real?).

And then there conversations spiral further reinforcing the subconscious understanding that Jax's being trans was something to still hide away in a world where they were technically free from all the IRL pressure of gender conformity. Rather than waiting for Jax to come to her to continue that sensitive subject.

Ribbit herding Jax into this toxic spiral was not the intended purpose of her reassurances, and really everyone has moments where they pry to early, or listen too long, and hurt comes across under the disguise of help.

It certainly didn't help Jax's situation that his mother likely did the same thing Ribbit did. But more to gain weaknesses to further compare Jax to his dad, rather than be supportive like Ribbit was trying to be. Jax's mom mind, who berated/degraded/and compared Jax to his father, would likely behave like Ragatha, Ribbit, Pomni, AND Zooble when she was supporting him, then turn around in her own rages and depressive anger and use that earlier kindness as a weapon against Jax.

Such is the vicious cyclical abuse of mother to child.

"You think you can just pry into my personal life and hold it over my head?!"

That patience lacking in Ribbit, existed in Pomni. And it's such a shame that the timing of that supportive network didn't come until after that interaction with Ribbit.

After all: if Zooble -Who went to therapy and got more accepting of their non-binary identity before joining the circus- and Pomni -who didn't take Jax's shit at face value, and gave him time to process things on his terms-; Had been there instead of Ribbit and Kaufmo, who knows what Jax's mental state would be?

Ribbit is not wrong for reaching out and being a friend, to continue reach out after every rebuff Jax made in self-preserving efforts against further "kind investigations".

But there are a lot of landmines in people's lives that we don't know about until we unfortunately step on them. Whether we're able to defuse the situation and grow as people from it. Or end up exploding relationships until abstractions happen. Depends on how both people handing the post-secret sharing conversation. And in Ribbit's case, She and Jax did not handle the conversation well.

Gangle: The creative romantic. Clearly educated in the Manga style of romance and gender acceptance. With all the pomp and drama associated with the style/culture in Japan. I wouldn't be surprised to learn or head canon Gangle as a Jane Austen Romance reader too.

Gangle from what we know is under the committed monogamous relationship umbrella, not showing any romantic interest to anyone else while "seeing" Zooble. And even then, when she goes all in, ITS ALL IN. Regardless of Zooble's gender, of all the characters in the series to genuinely show interest and acceptance of all of Zoobles parts, Gangle is the pinnacle of an ideal partner. Not perfect, What with her own suspected BPD, and self-doubts/depressive states which can make any relationship a challenge. But she certainly holds more openings within her heart to choose Zooble as a friend and partner, more than the problem. And Zooble gives the same level of commitment in return. Choosing Gangle and cooperation, over the problems they face.

Which leads me to a touchy but important part of Gangle's representation in the American Tran's Experience: Prior to Joining the Circus: None of these characters knew each other. And while within the circus, any marks of race or gender was heavily reliant of linguistic cues. Not Visuals, not skintone, not even clothing was a guarantee stereotype marker for someone being Black, Asian, or White.

Now if someone came in as a Bian Lian performer, or with a wood mask from any of the many African cultures listed in this link, one could argue some ethnic subtext for the character that appears. But that's not what we see at all. Everyone in the show is in Circus themed attire based in the 1800-1950s era of circus performances. Mostly European/American based. And if you're not aware of the circus cultures for those years: held all sorts of folks from all walks of life and self identity. There are many stories of runaway's leaving the expected societal gender roles their family expect them to perform. Though IRL circuses also had it's own issues with slavery and the exotic-fication of ethnic minorities and people with Disabilities, and the myriad of workers abuses common to everyone of the time period. A circus still was a place that accepted people who were otherwise outcast from ridged societies as long as you could help with work. Kind of like a pirate ship.

Jax goes after Gangle with the same level of mockery and viciousness as everyone else. Without knowing anything other than her circus design and gender assumed by her voice. Hell if you really wanted to assign ethnicity to Gangle based on circus design: I would have assumed Greece. Which is clearly wrong. But emphasizes my point: Racial Biases had no factor in Jax's behavior.

Actions did. Acting with Compassion is paradoxically Jax's psychological danger, red-flag, trigger.

What people with normal compassion interactions view as helpful bid for social connection -> Jax reads as a threat to his health and safety.

How he responds to that perceived threat is through aggression, snark, manly-dominance (or whatever attempts he could try), and isolation efforts/self sabotage. Triple so if the act of compassion or humor hits his gender identity or threatens what he perceives to be a shield against harassment for being a closeted trans girl.

After offers of kindness/listening/moral/emotional support are when Jax gets the MOST assholish. Which is consistent with the Trauma Jax Endured with his Mother and Father who continually shoved Jax into the expected Male gender.

But compassion is not Jax or Zooble's only external validation and weapon being used against them.

Society, Culture, and Barriers: the symbolism of Caine)

Under the framework of TDAC being the experience of transgender individuals: the circus becomes less of a wacky digital world to explore and more a culmination of societal norms, comforts, and expectations place upon the arriving populace. And a suppression of Adult Subjects for consumer and child friendly fun.

It's no coincidence that the designs and characters are spaced within the 1920-1970 circus era US. As there is a lot of subtext in character discussions that lean towards that era of gendered thinking. For America specifically: The Era of the Baby Boomers and Christian Nationalist/Evangelical uprising. The moral fight of gender equality in the first two feminist waves. And the conflicts that arose during that time period about who gets what rights and liberties in the US.

These things are heavily represented Through Caine, the Titular Artificial Intelligence, who by his own nature is designed with unspoken societal influences, biases, norms, and culture of those who designed him. In addition to the new minds he gets access to. Caine in this view of the show is the symbolic caricature of society. With all it's previous expectations, flaws, and interpersonal friction that comes from societal and cultural changes.

Take for instance: The automatic placement, design, and clothing/accessories (or lack of) pre-finale for new minds, is strictly gender divided, where gender is readily apparent in the characters. Kinger/Queenie being the King/Queen Chess Pieces, Ragatha as a Raggity Anne doll with a patchwork dress to represent her patchwork home, Gangle being so emotional and of low self-confidence (as a result of bullying I suspect), is a flimsy ribbon and mask. Ribbit gets a Bow, Pomni has longer hair that should not be poking out of a jesters hat if it was properly designed to the costume than it was. Jax literally is in overalls and a bugs bunny knock off rubberhose design.

Even then there is a disconnect of how these characters feel -with all of them- not just Zooble and Jax. Their self image, their self perceived flaws, their fears, their hate, is all reflected in their bodies as well. It's not by choice, but assigned on them unwillingly.

"I made a program that creates a body perfectly encapsulating their mind files, and they hate those too!"

Society, to borrow Wikipedia's definition is quote: "a group of individuals involved in persistent social interaction or a large social group sharing the same spatial or social territory, typically subject to the same political authority and dominant cultural expectations. Societies are characterized by patterns of relationships (social relations) between individuals who share a distinctive culture and institutions; a given society may be described as the sum total of such relationships among its constituent members."

Because all these characters are forced into the circus, they become the founders of that society, and thus have a say in how the circus is operated, shared, and the individuals within are (dis)respected, housed, and interact. Even with the ghosts of ancestors (or in this case Caine's hundreds of all seeing eyes, and the previous players/game makers) a society only remains unchanged if the values within that system go unchallenged or untested by new perspectives or ideas.

Caine -as the embodiment of a society- starts off surrounded by people who grew up in boomer logic and gender norms. Scratch, Kinger, Queenie, and the rest are all old enough to have been born at latest in 1950 to be working with code by the 1990's with such heavy skills and influence in C&A.

Thus all his game assets, stories, and interactions feel antagonistic to a new modern group. There is such a vast chasm of ideology, norms, and expectations when it comes to gender, individualism, self-expression, and autonomy between boomers and millennials. Even the most open minded boomer will still default to how they were raised in times of stress, than be open to adapting or changing their ways.

Now what happened when Caine was challenged for being a control freak and called out for all his abuses? Oh right, a musical number explaining who's in total control and needs to be respected as the elder authority in the circus....

That's not to say society is set in stone either!!!! Societies and Cultures change and adapt. We are living in a period of time where places like France, Mexico, China, the Pacific Island Maaori, frankly a LOT of cultures where Gendered language was the Default for Centuries are changing and including non-gendered/neo pronouns even! Where the laws are recognizing and adding protections for people who's gender does not fit into the previously defined binary. Or being stricter and challenged/protested. The indigenous multi/bi/abstract gender's are returning into normal vernacular. There is just so much going on socially that will change what we all grew up with.

Caine reflects this Conflict and Shift in the final "conflict" with himself. Caine grows to realize the person's value does not lie in their blind obedience to the status quo of the authority. For the uncheck authority he has; based upon what he was programed with and what was expected of the society he oversees: lead directly to the player mistreatment, abuse, and rightful rejection of him.

"I was irresponsible. I turned them against me." A society lead by tyrants unwilling to change or consider the collective will always fall to ruin and destruction. Caine's deletion, is America's current collapsing of previous Regan Era extreme Gender Ideology.

"I can create intelligent beings that do whatever I want, but I can't create THEM" A true Society is the culmination of individuals contributions. Not the Sole controller commanding obedient masses. A Society that demands a gendered binary cannot accept the outliers, not without friction or change. Caine could live on his own with NPC's yes, but what a lonely world to live in.

"Is their free will not what made them alluring in the first place?" The question, the recognition of new ideas. The opening dialogue for a society to adapt instead of destroy. The what if's and could be's that inform the new ideologies taking shape.

"But they hate me. They Abandoned me." The friction. The status quo rearing it's ugly head against the idea of letting go of what has functioned before. The Authority unwilling to let go of it's power. In spite of the harm's that have occurred socially.

"They're from a world so much bigger than mine. I'm keeping them locked in a cage." The Truth. The result of a society that remained stagnant and unwilling to adapt to new things. For Caine and the circus, this is the encroaching AI slop of sub-par stories and rushed productivity for the sake of maintaining a ghostly authority that has abandoned the project entirely. For America and the Earth in 2020's: it's the class warfare and purposeful limiting of otherwise lifesaving and easy options to self sufficiency and happiness, for the sake of old wealth and suffocating gendered ideas.

"They had their fun out there! It's my turn now! If I leave them unchecked, they could kill me." A very Boomer mentality if I ever saw one. Not the generation as a whole mind, but the mentality specifically for those that enjoyed the benefits of the Gendered binary and suppression of self. Those who found comfort and joy and fame and fortune being just a man or woman. Who are happiest in their power and confidence the status quo gives them. Who understand that their greed and pressure on others to conform to their ideas of gender is suffocating and killing others, but fears what happens if that power is revoked.

"They already did." The inevitable result. Societies that are challenged inevitably adapt or separate or fall. No matter the reason, no matter the cost, or lives gained/lost. Once that schism is revealed there is no suppressing it's existence. There's no way to ignore or deny the reality anymore. Either you face it, change because of it, or the society dies out to begin again.

Caine removing the Blue dot is Society letting go of what no longer permits social cohesion. The idea of power and control over what the players get to do or say is no longer serving the circus. So it must go. Limiting what the players do or appear as in the circus doesn't let their free will shine. So it must go. The secrets about what they are beyond the circus, The suppression of memories, mandatory therapy sessions, gone.

On a smaller, personal scale: Jax goes through the same schism. Not so grandiose and world shattering as societal changes. But just as important to him as an individual, In the wrong direction: Questioning his identity, Doubling down on harmful beliefs, pushing against any external attempts to connect and change. Jax, in his personal arc, is the Blue dot. Refusing the chance of a better existence, in favor of the uncomfortable familiar. And Like the blue Dot, abstracts into a state of almost death. Not done in, since there's still something the code recognizes as Jax, but not the Jax that lives. The Void is the only society that can take Jax because the Void is where the abandoned projects/ideas/abstractions go.

And yet, not all is lost. A Society that genuinely cares for the people, will always consider those who do not exactly "fit in" to whatever norms exist. Healthy societies are not confined to one singular definition so constraining that all out groups stay out. As exemplified with the Abstraction aquarium and Tent. The Abstractions at least get a safe place to stay. and the ending leaves an opening for them all to recover and return.

"We're going to build this place into something better, for all of you." Is the best goal a society can have, and a mission that ensures a continuous growth and course correction, rather than destruction. To adapt new perspectives and ideas can make anyplace better than it was before. Especially a society that gives as much grace to the "outliers" who might not wholly fit in yet, but still deserve the dignity of care and considerations for what they might need.

The digital verses real self: how the circumstances of our environment play a role in our personal identities.

As a Last little note regarding all of this: The Amazing Digital Circus had the opportunity that a lot of us IRL will never have the chance to experience. And that is putting yourself literally in a different scenario and seeing how you would react if the circumstances were different.

The ending slideshow of all the characters learning about their living selves was soft yes. but also a huge example of the diverging paths our environments and relationships have on our self perceptions.

Circus Zooble eventually got comfortable with who and what they are, and in a relationship with an artist, starting their own digital bar and indulging in their more creative side. IRL Zooble started a Queer business and operates it full time, though with no relationships (yet)

Circus Ragatha still panics and worries over what other's think of her and gets nervous and depressed often over her mother. IRL Ragatha has moved away from her mother to start a new life without any prior connections and has far more confidence in herself than her digital counterpart.

Circus Gangle is still mentally trapped in the 6A-10P worker burnout, Still worrying and panicking and self depreciate, even while in a relationship with Zooble. IRL Gangle doesn't have the relationship, but she is free from the fast food grind and dropped the pressures of her parents to become the webcomic artist she wanted to be.

Circus Pomni is unique in that both digital and IRL aspects followed a similar slow and steady confidence growth. the difference lays in how that growth occurred overtime. The same could be said of Kinger too. Which is just as important to see as the divergences that could occur. Because there ARE some moments that have a straight A to B path that's easy to do and replicate, and sometimes you expect to go from A to B and end up at 9000.

Like Jax. Who on the flip to everyone else in the show: Jax's IRL counterpart is shown to slowly coming into his own being and tentatively exploring his identity. With a job and a few friends that support him. Circus Jax essentially committed Suicide. Because of all the previously pointed out Trauma before the circus, and the mixed messaging inside the circus, that compounded issues that needed adaptive and complex support to overcome.

Circus Jax did not get the support IRL Jax did.

Which cements a warning I've gotten since I was little and learning about the internet: Not all your Answers come from a digital source. Not every solution to a problem can be easily Googled. And especially in this day and age, technology cannot wholly replace human connection.

What did I learn in this Thesis and Show?

The Amazing Digital Circus is complex in it's own right, with such details that can twist and redefine what someone takes away from it. But as it stands. It's a very good starter show from anyone who might not understand what it feels like to be Transgender, or not fit in at all in the social groups you're currently in.

And the message that it leaves in the ending is one that everyone Post Pandemic should continue to take in and practice in their own lives:

Accept what cannot change (mind scans separate from physical body, the slow pace of society changes)

Change what one can (personal environment, circus itself, activities)

Be there for everyone (Zoobles Bar = queer safe, Circus = Cooperative collaboration.)

Give people the space to come to you (Kinger, Pomni)

Don't give up hope too soon (Jax)

There are many ways to find and define yourself. Online or offline.