[ID: six photos taken from ocean vuongâs instagram story, responding to the question: âhow do you make sure your metaphors have real depth?â
âmetaphors should have two things: sensory (visual, texture, sound, etc) connector between origin image and the transforming image as well as a clear logical connector between both images. if you have only one of either, best to forgoe the metaphor. otherwise it will seem forced or read like âwritingâ if that makes senseâ
âa lot of yaâll asked for examples re: metaphor. I can explain better if I had 15 minutes of class time (apply to UMass!). But essentially, metaphors that go awry can signal a hurried desire to be âliteraryâ or âpoeticâ (i.e. 'writingâ), which can lose traction/trust with a reader. in other words, a metaphor is a detour-/but that detour better lead to discoveries that alter/amplify the meaning of what is already there, so that a reader sees you as a servant of possibility rather than someone trying to prove that they are a 'writer.â One is performative, the other exploratory. in this way, the metaphor acts as a virtual medium, ejecting the textâs optical realism into an 'elsewhere.â But this elsewhere should inform the original upon our return. otherwise the journey would feel like an ejection from a crash rather than a curated journey toward more complex meaning.â
âexample: 'The road curves like a catâs tail.â This is a weak metaphor because the transforming image (tail) does not amplify/alter the original. The transfer of meaning flattens and dies. Logic is weak or moot: A catâs tail does not really change the nature of the road. You can certainly add to this with a few more expository sentences which might rescue the logicâbut by then youâre just doing CPR on your metaphor. Sensory, too, is weak: a catâs tail has little optical resemblance to a road other than being curved (roads are not furry, for one.) So this is a 0 for 2 and should be scrapped. (Just my opinion though! Not a rule!)â
âokay so what about: 'The road runs between two groves of pine, like the first stroke of a buzzcut.â this is better. the optical sensory of the transforming image (a clipper thru a head of hair) matches well with the original. but the logic feels arbitrary. again it doesnât substantially alter the original. in the end this is just an 'interesting imageâ but not strong enough to keep Iâd say.â
âNow hereâs one from Sharon Olds: 'The hair on my fatherâs arms like blades of molasses.â Sensory connector: check. A manâs dark air indeed can look like blades (also suggestive of grass) of molasses. Logical connector: check. the father is both sharp and sweet. Something once soft and sticky about him (connotations of youth) sweets, has now hardened the confection no longer fresh etc. Itâs an ambitious metaphor that is packed with resonance. In other words, it does worlds of work and actually deepens the more you dit with it. A metaphor that actually invites you to put the book down, think on it, absorb it, before returning. a good metaphor uses detours to add power to the text. poor metaphors distract from the text and leave you bereft, laid to the side.â
âAnother very ambitious metaphor is this one from Eduardo C. Corral: 'Moss intensifies up the tree, like applause.â This is a masterful metaphor, risky and requires a lot of faith, restraint, and experience to pull off. Difficult mainly because now we see a surrealist 'distortionâ of the sensory realm: origin IMAGE (moss) is paired with transforming SOUND (applause). There is now a leap in comparable elements. But the adherence to our two vital factors are still present. Sensory: moss, though silent, grows slowly (the word 'intensifierâ does major work here becuz it foreshadows the transforming element). Applause, too, grows gradually, before dying down. Logic: the growth of moss suggests spring, lushness, life, resilience and connotes anticipatory hope, much like applause. In turn, applause modifies the nature of moss and imbues, at least this moss, with a sense of accomplishment, closure, itâs refreshment a cause for celebration. God I love words.â /End ID.]