Academy isn't the same without you. I used to go there every now and then and reminisce about our time there. I would pass by the garage where your old Kona was parked. I would look at the old chargers that we always took advantage of -- they're now removed. I would run up the stairwell from the garage to the third floor and to your room, just as I would do when I got off work. These were the habits that I practiced when we lived there, a small space just for us. A small space where we shared in this world, a space where we were real.
I reminisce about the times when I used to make your pork ribs from the grill in the community space. The late nights when we would walk around Sac State. Everything around us -- the brewery/pub, Tacoa, even Taichi -- these were all the small places that made up our tiny little existence. I miss those days when I would drive back home to you, with the sun clear up in the sky in the Sacramento spring.
I know you remember our time living together differently. I always have held such fond memories of our time at Academy, but I think you remember our fights, disagreements, and the time when I moved out. I know it wasn't perfect, I know there were bumps in the road -- but it was the simplest kind of life we shared in that small apartment. And to me, simple and small is so much more than big and grand. I found happiness in that small, tiny, unassuming space with you, and I would trade anything that I have just to be able to go back there to be with you again.
Now, if I go by, I think it'll feel empty. The void of your spirit and love is felt. It feels alone. It feels like just a memory that I alone only hold, know, and treasure. IT feels so lonely and cold now, the memory of us living together once upon a time in that small space, but I won't forget it. I'll hold onto it for as long as I can, and give it love and warmth in the way that I know how. I don't know what this will bring... I don't know what would happen if I were to ever see you again.
I miss you so much. I don't even know how.















