( 04 ) ace.

Oikawa blinks slowly, contemplative in deep browns of his eyes ; a FRAGMENT of a feeling too indescribable lingers in his PORCELAIN features before the corner of his lips lifts in a small smile. “Of course.” ( Careless words that SLIPPED past his parted lips so mindlessly, HARDENS into resolve by his CLENCHED fist. ) But of course, a smile was never enough to fool iwaizumi. In some ways, Oikawa’s thankful for their closeness ; telepathy came too easily between them – thoughts exchanged wordlessly with a simple quirk of a brow or a tilt of head – but like a DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD, Oikawa knew, that the STRENGTH of their bond would also prove to be their his biggest WEAKNESS. 

“Ah! I’m fine ~!” Oikawa laughed, waving off his concern with a gentle flick of a wrist. “I was just counting the number of lines you have on your forehead when you frown.” This – this familiar banter of theirs – this was SAFE; & so perfectly reminiscent of their HALCYON days of the past. And it was so easy ( too easy ) to fall back into the routine. 

But as fleeting as the lives of the unfortunate, the moment was gone. And Oikawa’s features hardened ; a rolling THUNDERCLOUD clasping just ahead.  “Just promise me you won’t do anything dangerous,” Lifting his gaze to meet Iwaizumi’s, he whispered.  “Okay?”

creases of concern vanish momentarily, final vestiges of restraint exhausted ( & oh, he’s tired; but he’s the straight man by reflex, if not for lack of a better option ) . distance closed between them, his fist -- loosely curled, light, playful -- reaches out to bump against tooru’s shoulders. “ & whose fault do you think that is ? ” he comments, though without any real heat behind it. their conversation lightens, a weight falls off his shoulders, until        

“ i’m part of the ccg, ” returns the somber mood, it brings them back to why they started this conversation at all, “ doing dangerous shit is literally my job description. ” exhale, inhale; spill your woes. “ besides, there’s a new ghoul running rampant on the streets & we have no information at all -- at this point, it’s going to take forever just gathering data, who knows when we’ll even be able to catch them. ” 

@grxndiosity ♥ ,

happy birthday, tori !

       first of all, congratulations on turning 23 ! can you believe we’ve only known each other for months ?? it’s so surreal because so much has happened in this time; like you getting a job, me going through a hell of a lot of exams, all the days of classes & cons & festivals & trips that we’ve shared with each other through texts. & as a note, before you start questioning me / this, i swear that everything here is completely genuine & honest. like, cross my heart ( & hope to die ) entirely true. warning: this is going to get Long.

       anyway, to go back when we first met. it feels like we clicked instantly ? from our love for tooru to our shit personalities, we found so many similarities between us ( remember being ouran twins & saying things in sync & you being the only person to understand my weird analogies & us sharing all the weird inside jokes ) . you’ve been the one person i’ve felt comfortable with sharing weird things about myself with; & that’s saying something, because i tell people random things all the time. even with how frequently we text each other, i never get tired of talking to you. & when we disagree ( jaehee does not have a boring personality, fight me, ) it doesn’t feel like our differing views put any distance between us. if anything, it keeps our dynamic interesting & our friendship fun, tbh. also you get to witness me having opinions, which is a rare & unusual thing, so i hope you’re happy ♡ . 

       & on that note, from the bottom of my heart, i hope that you are happy. i’m writing this at 5/6am so i’m incredibly all over the place right now, but the one thing that i will always wish for you is your happiness. bc you deserve it, really. you work so hard to be nice to people & put so much effort into balancing work & socialising & cosplaying, as well as ? for some reason trying to analyse my personality but otherwise ! you have so much talent within you & i’m so proud of you for having achieved so much despite having your job for only a short time. more than that, i hope you remember to take care of yourself, & that if ever you need someone, i’m always here for you. 

       for my part, i definitely didn’t think that i’d meet or get close to someone like you ( ever ) , because i’m usually not that good at keeping contact with other people for extended periods of time. but it’s been months, & sure that hasn’t been very long, but we’ve literally been talking more or less every day, even if it’s just idle chat about things that happened to us or things we’re planning to do. i treasure every moment we’ve spent together, from back when you were so open to everyone & until now, even when we’ve both revealed our true colours to each other. thank you for sharing so much of yourself with me, & even if i don’t tell you so all the time, i really do admire you a lot. i admire your confidence, the security you have in yourself; your honesty, how you’re able to be blunt & say the things you really think even if it might meet disapproval from others; your beauty, both inside & out; your pr skills, the way you’re able to communicate with so many people & yet take no shit from anyone; and there’s so much more to you that i don’t know how to go on because i’m literally on the verge of tears just from thoughts of how deeply you’ve touched & changed my life. 

       so for everything you’ve done, thank you. for your friendship, your thought, your time, thank you for letting me experience these past few months with you. finally, i know you’re always encouraging me to put myself first, but i’m guessing you’ll let yourself be the exception because i truly mean this when i say that i’d put you above myself any time of the day. with that, i’d like to wish you a great year ahead -- hopefully one we’ll spend with each other through our texts ( or better yet if we manage to find the time to meet each other ) -- & i hope you remember that i love you. i’m not that great with words & i’ve been going everywhere but nowhere with this post, so if i manage to convince you of one thing, i’d hope that it’s of my love for you. peace out ! 

                                                                                                            -- ♥, sarah. 

   did it show, his lack of experience in the field? it was still so new to him, this line of work. a heart of stone, a strong stomach. things that he’s never once thought he would ever need. and yet when the red liquid starts running and the air fills with choked gasps, strangled pleas. that’s when he sees just how NEEDED those qualities are.    a total of two months are needed before he can begin to stomach the sight, to accept the idea of just what it is he does. and it’s at that point where he no longer feels for the deceased is when he begins to worry. worry for himself, his well being. was he starting to lose his mind? it wouldn’t even come as a surprise.

   “ not really. “ a silence that lingered for far too long hung between them before he answered. so adsorbed he was in the gruesome sight before him ( one he caused, don’t forget the red staining your hands  ) that the company was nearly forgotten.    “ doesn’t make it any easier, though. “

he reeks of danger, reminds him of blood lust & long - lost memories of innocence. word travels fast if you have connections, & despite the innocently phrased inquiry, iwaizumi knows more about bokuto koutarou than he’s willing to let on. 

 “   hm. i could swear i’ve never seen you around before. though i did hear that oikawa tooru took on a new partner.. would that happen to be you ?   ”   

his gaze remains searching, false ignorance belying the information that he already holds. looking at the corpses before him, he examines the scene with a sense of disinterest, his reaction underwhelming even when the heavy tang of iron pulses through the air & gets under his skin. eyes long turned cold & piercing, calculative, darts from prey to predator; a slow smile curling at his lips when he gives his reply.

        ❛      someone’s acting kind of GREEN today , hm ?? too bad that you’re not a FROG to eat whatever BUGS you off. i’m not kermit-ing  any crime with what i’m saying , am i  ?? ❜

so i’ve reached 68 followers & since 68 is a happy number, have this ! ( what’s a happy number, you don’t ask ? sarah voice: starting with any whole number, sum up the squares of each digit & repeat the process until you reach an infinite loop or 1. if the cycle ends in 1, the number is happy ! ) anyway. tbh, this blog has been more shitposting than actual ic, but it’s a blog i’ve been free to do what i want on, & for that i’m really thankful. more relevantly i wanted to do a thing & i just so happened to have an arbitrary number of followers i cld relate something mathematical to. so ! keeping to this blog’s motto of i do what i want, here’s an appreciation post ! ( also blame my current theme on cez she’s an Enabler.. .. blame the font on tori bc she too is an enabler i can’t believe )

edit: i’m not at 68 anymore bc cez refused to unfollow me :/ but it doesn’t matter how fast you go or smth, so i’m going to pretend where i started is what matters. & now, for real this time, i present my happy number appreciation post ! ( i’ll make a more traditional follower appreciation post when i hit an actual milestone hahah this is just the result of too much affection & procrastination. )

@grxndiosity​ / anw ,

@celestiis ​/ step on me