The Daydream

It only took a moment, all those years ago, for Miles to know he was done for. As the classroom filled up on that first day, he immediately noticed her as she walked in. It was as if every bit of oxygen on earth was sucked up when she opened the door to the lecture hall. She was magnetic; his head turning at just the right moment to see her walk in for the first time. That was it... That was when.

Miles Asher, for all of his accolades and accomplishments, was terrible in relationships. So much so that he cast them away completely; but he was no match for Ivy Rose. His world stopped and all he could see was her. She was captivating and terrifying in the best way. So much so that he tried to run; tried to hide how desperately he wanted to be part of her orbit. He tried his best to just be her friend, but anyone observing could see that they were both headed for mutual assured destruction if they didn't end up together. It was love at first sight, and Miles knew it from the beginning; even if he tried to brush it off for as long as he could. She was it for him, and no one else would ever come close.

"Of course we made it, baby. The house always wins, no one can bet against us." His analogy was cheesy, but it was true. Their love was out of a fairytale and their strength together was simply unmatched. "I know we won't ever have to do it again." He agreed, adding, "I'm never letting you go." Miles promised, pushing himself against her, as close as he could muster. Their bodies blended into one.

He quickly shook his head at her question, gaze stuck intensely on hers. "Never." His hand cupped her cheek, his eyes pleading. "Not even for a second. I will never give up hope on us. Or on you. You're my person." His voice was steady, his intention even more so. "I never knew I could love someone the way I love you, Ivy. I never thought I'd meet someone so extraordinary, I never thought I'd know a love like my parents'. I never imagined someone like you would choose me."

As they continued to kiss, Miles continued to moan. Her lips, teeth, and hands were everywhere and he needed her even closer. Everything fit as perfectly as it always had. When her hips began to ground into his, he whispered obscenities while groaning in pleasure. "I guess we just love each other the most, then. We can be in a tie." He smirked with a light chuckle, adding, "We are soulmates, split-aparts, meant to be. We will always find each other, but God, I'm glad we can both give up searching for now." His lips crashed into hers, and he couldn't hold back on his sounds of pleasure anymore. He let out a growl as her nails raked against his back and he nodded, quickly discarding of his shirt before kissing her as passionately as he could once again.

and when it was lost, she felt like the universe had split in half and nothing could make it turn back on it’s axis. That was until she found him again and right here and right now she felt whole again; like she was filling up with emotions that she had shut off some time ago. Part of her was worried that this would end again but she couldn’t think about it like that. She wouldn’t give up their time together to think about the what ifs and the what could have beens. Instead she was focusing on them in this moment and loving every second of it.

“I know but is probably gonna be awhile before I actually believe that. It feels like a movie.” And it was one that she never wanted to shut off. She knew she had nothing to worry about but it was just the fact that she had finally gotten him back and she was so afraid the universe was going to laugh at her and take him away again in some ruthless act to show her that her life and her life were insignificant. “Please don’t ever let me go. Ever. “

“I will choose you in every life and in every way possible, Miles. You are everything to me and I want nothing more than to one day be your wife and mother of your children. We’ll grow old together on the front porch watching our grandchildren play.” She had their future envisioned and she knew that he did too. It was one of the only things that kept her sane while she was gone: the dream that she would be reunited with him and that they would have the future they always wanted.

His fingernails gently raked against her skin, once again confirming they were both there--in reality--together. "You're not dreaming." He promised finally, swallowing hard as his breath began to slowly even out, all of his tears finally stopping. "It's real, baby. You're safe. You're here, with me. We're okay." Promised Miles, letting himself finally smile for the first time. His first real and true smile since the day she vanished.

Keeping his eyes on hers, the pad of his thumb continued to gently caress and comfort her skin. He let out another gentle 'shh'. "None of this is your fault." Sure, he didn't know exactly what had happened to her--they would get to that soon enough--but it was completely out of Ivy's character for her to run away on her own accord, so Miles always knew deep down that something completely out of her control had caused this. "I promise we have enough time. We have every second from now until the end of forever, and for as long as the earth keeps turning after that." He pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of her nose, adding, "I know this isn't a dream, because unlike the past three years of me dreaming about seeing you again; this is even better than I ever could have imagined it."

Miles helped guide her legs around him so she could comfortably straddle his waist, the pieces of their bodies connecting as effortlessly as they always had. He continued to kiss her passionately, savouring each tender moment, his heart beating for a myriad of other reasons rather than the agony or anger of years prior. His head fell back as she left feather-light kisses against his skin and he moaned lowly, nodding slightly and allowing her more access to his neck and jawline. "Forever and always, babe." Once their lips reunited, he smiled, returning the kiss feverishly before finally pulling away, only enough to make eye contact and whisper, "I love you more, Ivy Rose. You've changed me like opening a window changes a dark room. Welcome home, mon amour."

Ivy nodded her head at his confirmation. “Even if I was dreaming, this has been the best damn dream that I’ve had in the past three years.” In the back of her head she knew this was real but still a very faint part of her wondered if she had gone through it enough to believe that this was some sort of mirage. Her hands moved to trace over every inch of his face to his neck and then to his chest. A simple touch but wanting to remember every single new part of him as if she was going to disappear any second. “We made it. I don’t know how but we did it. We got through this and now we don’t ever have to go through it again.” She didn’t know how he had gotten through the days and she wondered if another woman was a helpful factor in keeping him sane but she didn’t want to think about that. She was just thankful for whatever it was the helped him over the years because she couldn’t have imagined coming back to her life and he was permanently gone. The thought alone made her shiver.

The reassurance from him that none of this was her fault was exactly what she needed. She knew dep down that it wasn’t in her control and if she have taken Miles with her she would have but to hear those words come from his mouth made her let out a breath that she hadn’t realized that she had been holding. It was like the weight was lifted off of her shoulders and she could finally breathe because he didn’t blame her - and she wouldn’t have been mad if he did. “I know,” she repeated more for herself than for him. Her eyes met his and it felt like she was looking at him for the first time ever and maybe it was; it had been three years and she knew that she had changed and so had he so this was almost like a new beginning for them. “Did you ever give up hope on us?” She asked in more of a whisper than anything, a question that she wanted to know but also didn’t want to hear if it was anything but no.

Their bodies molded together in exactly the same way that they had before. The kisses turned passionate, her fingers tugging at the back of his head, teeth nipping at the skin of his neck. His low moans caused her body to shiver as the fire inside of her was ignited. Her hips moved on their own accord and when he pulled away to look her in the eye, she tugged at her bottom lip. “I don’t think it’s possible that you love me more. I love you with every fiber of my being and in every lifetime, you would have been mine. We were meant to be together and find our way back to each other. I am so glad to be home, Miles.” Her lips smashed against his again as he hands moved between them and she let her fingers find the bottom of his shirt before her hands snaked under them, nails scraping against the bare skin. Kisses turned more feverish and her hips moved faster against him. “I need you,” she whispered into his ear before nipping at the skin once again.

But then blew in Ivy Rose, all beautiful and brilliant, with her flowing chestnut hair and a bright smile. She changed everything. 'We're just friends!' Miles would swear, mostly trying to convince himself of the fact. It was true, they were great friends, but there was an immediate attraction and connection that went far beyond the boundaries of platonic friendship. But he knew Ivy could ruin him and as much as he wanted to entertain the idea, he was terrified it would destroy him.

Luckily, their connection only grew as they grew with each other, encouraging and pushing the limits of their own greatness. Plus, they were both stubborn, so once they finally gave in to their feelings, it was game over. Miles would tell anyone that he had fallen in love with her before she even agreed to go out with him. If love at first sight was real, then Cupid placed the arrow perfectly the first time Miles spotted her across the lecture hall. They fit together like a puzzle- or more like a masterpiece.

The air hummed with stillness, laboured breaths and quiet cries echoing throughout the sprawling condo as he smiled and nodded in confirmation. "Alive and in the flesh, baby." He joked softly as he traced gentle shapes into the small of her back, feeling her delicate skin through her cotton clothing; a familiar map, one he had explored countless times before.

"Shh..." He whispered again, eyes beseeching as they locked with hers again. "I would go to Hell and back for you, Ivy. You have nothing to be sorry for, I promise." He felt her pulling for him and he more than happily melted at her touch, their limbs tightening around each other even further. "It's okay, it's okay. We can talk about all the details later. There's no rush, Ivy. We're here, and we're okay. We have time." Time. What a beautiful thing to finally have restored between them again. "You're not going anywhere, and neither am I. I won't let that happen to you again." Miles swore.

More tears began to flow down his cheeks; this time, from pure happiness. The reality of the situation was finally hitting him; they were back together. Reunited. "I know you didn't, my love, it's you and me forever." He snuck a quick kiss to the tip of her nose, adding, "I love you more." Miles let out a breath as well, his hand gripping at her waist and pulling her into him, his eyes instinctively closing as she leaned in; a move she beat him to by a millisecond. He happily returned the kiss, tilting her jaw up to meet his as he deepened their embrace. "I will always find you." He whispered into her mouth between soft, longing kisses before letting his tongue swipe at her bottom lip as he continued. "In every lifetime, in every situation, in every world; I will always find you."

But she wasn’t dreaming and he was there and so was she. He still loved her despite everything that had happened and it finally felt like the universe was spinning for her again. “You don’t know how many times I wanted to hear you say that,” she admitted with a soft smile. Her fingers caressed his face and moved to his hair where she let her fingers run through his dark locks like she had many times before. “I can’t believe that this is real. Please tell me I’m not dreaming.” God she couldn’t get enough of just being in his arms and taking in every new feature as if she was seeing him for the very first time like all those years prior.

“I know but I should have never put you in this position. I know how it felt for me to be gone so I can only imagine how much hurt you felt.” Guilt was one emotion that plagued her every single day even more now that they were together again. She knew he didn’t blame her for leaving but she blamed herself even though she had no control over it in the first place. “ I don’t ever want to leave your side again. We have so much to catch up on I feel like we don’t have enough time,” she admitted. “God I still can’t believe that I’m here with you again. I have been dreaming of this day for years and I don’t ever want to wake up from this.”

“Always and forever. You and me.” When he pulled her close, she moved herself around to straddle his waist, intertwining their bodies as much as she could. The smiles in between kisses as she listened to him made her heart melt. She had been so worried that he would hate her or that his feelings would have gone away and moved into someone else that it felt almost surprising to her to hear all of those sweet words again. “In every lifetime we are together. Forever and nothing can tear us apart. Not again.” Her hand moved to the back of his head, her lips pressing kisses to his neck, up his jaw line, to his cheek and then finally to his lips. “I love you, Miles. More than I can even express. You make me feel alive when I’ve felt dead these past three years. You breath life into me in every way possible. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Mr. and Mrs. Asher loved Ivy, praising her both to her face and to Miles when she was out of ear shot or away. All of his family and their mutual friends adored her, and it wasn't a surprise to anyone when Miles spent months designing and perfecting an engagement ring to propose with... The very ring that sat in his underwear drawer for three months before she left, and the same one that continues to sit in his underwear drawer- where he planned on keeping it until he could one day find her again and ask her to marry him.

Miles always wondered if their outcome would have been different if he had the chance to propose before she left; all of the what if's and options not explored constantly circling in his mind. Where had she gone? And what had happened to her? Both of these questions he hd to eventually settle for never knowing, but now, with her in front of him, he would finally understand where she was. But more than anything, she was in front of him which meant she was alive. She was okay.

His gaze remained fixated on hers, her electric blue eyes piercing to his heart and causing it to flutter wildly. "I'm alive. I'm here, I'm here, Ivy." He promised quietly, hands massaging at the base of her back gently, feeling her skin beneath her coat. He shook his head, pulling her even closer to him, their bodies practically blended together. "Shhh, shhh..." His right hand traced up her side and gently pushed her hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek tenderly.

"What did I say about you apologizing?" He teased with a wink, a laugh escaping his lips and cutting through the tears. He began wiping away her tears with the pad of his thumb, caressing the skin carefully. "I don't hate you. Of course I don't hate you, Ivy. I never could, and I never have. I love you, baby, I love you forever. Please don't say you're sorry, okay? You have nothing--absolutely nothing--to apologize for. I'm here, I'm here... And you're here, okay? We are here together. We're safe." Miles promised, a gentle smile tugging at the corners of his lips as his sobs turned back into soft crying.

He had questions, so many questions he wanted to ask but he couldn't form them yet. All he could do was bask in the revelation that she had come home.

She wondered sometimes what her life would have been like. Would she has still became a lawyer or would she have given up without someone pushing her to be the best? Would she be in a loveless marriage hiding behind the fact that she was young and needed to have someone by her side? Would she have found Miles in a different way? Their souls connected in more ways than one so she had to believe that they would have found their way to each other in one lifetime or another and that hope gave her drive the last three years to survive. She had to get back to Miles no matter what and she did.

It felt like a dream - one that she had many times before. It almost felt like she was going to open her eyes and all of this would be gone. She would be back in her small studio apartment on the other side of town hoping and praying that she would find Miles once again. She had to pinch herself just to make sure that she was still there and alive and in his arms because she didn't want to wake up if this was in fact a dream.

His words rang in her ears and a sigh of relief escaped her lips. He was there and she was there. They were both alive and they were together again. It was everything that she wanted but also everything that caused fear to creep back into her mind. How long would this last? Would they be able to live and love again or would this be ripped away like it had so easily before? "You're alive" she whispered, a soft smile tugging at her lips.

A laugh escaped her lips and it felt like she hadn't laughed in years - and frankly, she hadn't. Not a genuine laugh like the one that escaped anyways. "I can't help it. I will keep apologizing until my last breath for what I put you through. I know this is a lot and I can imagine you have a million questions and I will answer all of them for you." The more she spoke the more she held onto him and pulled him closer to her like she was trying to make their bodies into one.

"I love you so much. I never stopped loving you." Those words whispered like a mantra over and over again because she needed him to hear them. She needed him to know that she hadn't stopped loving him. Leaning back to look at him, she gave a sigh of relief that she had been holding in before she leaned forward and placed her lips upon his, giving a slow and soft kiss. "I love you."

For a hopeless romantic, Miles Asher was typically anything but the committed type. As a teenager, he spent most of his free time sleeping with every girl at his high school and then eventually the entire state of New York came along for the ride. His ride, specifically. He was great at dating, flirting was easy to him- overly charming, sickly sweet, and with a killer jawline to boot; he was easily sought after. But he always broke things off before they got serious, never allowing himself the pleasure of falling in love because of fear he wasn't good enough. That he simply wasn't deserving of a magnificent love story. So, he kept all women at a distance, his heart locked far away.

That was until Ivy Rose changed everything, of course. Not that he allowed himself to fall--at first, anyway--their friendship blossoming immediately after they met, their competitive nature and constant trying to one-up the other ending with them both becoming better lawyers and people because of it. But Miles was guarded, and didn't want to risk losing her. She became his favourite person so quickly and he was glad that fate--and their friends--kept pushing them together until they both eventually caved and were honest with each other about how they really felt.

It was easy for him to open up to Ivy in the end. She was sensitive, kind, loving, and gentle, yet feisty and strong. She taught him how to love, healed parts of his soul he never imagined getting back, and he found safety and his home in her arms. He didn't have to push through his emotions, she met him wherever he was and was his lighthouse, calling him home to her every night. She was easy to love, and God, did he love her.

For three years, he wondered where she went. What happened to her. It didn't make sense for her to run away or vanish without a trace and Miles' logical brain was racked with questions. Everything with them was as close to perfect as you could get, and there was no note or returned call... Nothing. She was just gone. And it broke him. He cried for hours, locking himself away from anyone and everything to wallow in his sadness for months on end. He called her every day, texted her, looked on Google- the works. Eventually, the line went dead and her number was out of service and he never heard back, but he still texted her phone number every other day to update her on his life, express how much he missed her, and how he wished for her safe return.

And now here she was. Standing safely in front of him and as real and as beautiful as he remembered her. Even more beautiful, actually. At her confirmation, he immediately began to cry. Quickly, he raced to close the few feet of space between them and scooped her up in his arms, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he skillfully moved them both back inside his apartment and closing the door with his foot. His hands roamed her back and shoulders, his calloused fingers gripping tightly to ensure he wasn't dreaming as began sobbing. His body shook slightly as he slid them both to the floor, his back against the door as he held her as close to him as she could be, afraid that letting go would result in her vanishing in front of him.

"Don't ever be sorry." He whispered, "Don't you ever apologize." His tears were staining her clothes but his words were tender and quiet, a smile creeping onto his face, the cacophony of his cries ranging from sadness to elation. "I can't believe you're here. You're here and you're so beautiful and you're alive." He pulled back slightly, pressing his forehead with hers and letting their eyes meet again for the first time, "I am so fucking glad you're okay."

But Miles changed everything for her. She never thought that she believed in love at first sight but seeing Miles that first day and the flutter in her chest the moment he spoke to her for the first time disagreed with her previous intentions. He made her into a better person and taught her that she could fight to be the best without having to feel bad. They brought out something in one another that was so raw and their connection was indescribable.

And just as their life seemed to be coming together perfectly - their picture perfect relationship - it was ripped out from under them. Not only did her entire world turn on its head overnight but the fact that she couldn't even explain to Miles why his world was turning upside down too was the thing that killed her the most. He had opened up to her in ways that he had never opened up to anybody before and she felt as if she had betrayed him and his trust. And that's what killed her the most.

The first few months she was gone, her body hardly left the front window of the old rickety house that they had stashed her in. The seasons changed - spring turning into summer which turned into fall and before she even knew it the snow was falling and it all started over again the next year. It wasn't for a solid year after she was gone that she let herself really feel the way that she was supposed to. She let her emotions come to the surface and accept the fate that she had to start a new life.

The moment that his arms wrapped around her body pulling her into his apartment, the sobs that came out of her was gut wrenching. They came within the deep pits of her stomach - the pain from all those nights away from him coming to the surface. His own sobs caught her off guard and caused her heart to break. There was something about the man that she loved hurting like this was something that she wasn't ready to face. She caused this hurt and that was what hurt her the most.

Her body fell into his on the floor and she crawled into his lap, her head leaning against his as she listened to his words. Her fingers wiped his tears away before she let her eyes meet his. "I'm glad that you're alive," she whispered. Fear of what they may have done to him while she was gone had always been on her mind. Just because she was away didn't mean that they weren't going to go after him.

"I wish I could have told you. I never wanted to leave. I didn't want to leave you, Miles. I would never leave you. I didn't have a choice." Her words came out in between sobs as her hands moved to his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. "Please you have to know that I would have never left you. I love you. I'm so sorry for all of it. I'm so sorry you had to deal with it. Please don't hate me. Please." She begged and pleaded for him not to hate her for what she put him through even though she wouldn't have blamed him if he did hate her. "Do you hate me?"

"I may have gone a little overboard," Mar admitted, looking down with dismay at the shopping bag full of Girl Scout cookies that she'd purchased on an impulse. She was beginning to understand why troops would set up booths in public places. How could anyone say no to a community organization and tiny faces full of excitement? Who wanted to crush their hopes? "Actually, yeah, I definitely went overboard," she added after a beat, looking back up at the person before her. "I don't even like Thin Mints and I have two boxes. You want any of these? I don't want to have to eat them all myself."

"I'm thinking of doing a trivia night," he opened, setting down the cloth he'd been using to wipe down tables. "It's in between sports seasons right now anyway, so we have to get foot traffic up again in the meantime. I don't know, is that still a thing that people go to?" He let out a sigh and looked at the emptier than usual scene before him. "I was going to make it E Street themed too for the concert coming up, but then it requires getting a prize, and assuming people actually want to come out..." Adam trailed off, and then looked at the person uncertainly. "What do you think, is it a total waste of time?"

location: lucky strike

tagging: @philly-starters​

“Best out of three?” Asher asked, wiggling his brows at his next opponent as the previous skulked away from the ping-pong table after losing miserably. “We can make even make it interesting. Loser pays the winners tab.”

Ivy watched the ping-pong competition fairly closely as she sipped on her drink. Her brow raised when the question was now directed toward her, a slow smirk gracing her lips as she finished off the drink and stood up. “Are you sure you want to take that bet? I can outdrink anybody at this bar so my tab could very well be extremely expensive.” Walking toward the table, she grabbed the paddle and the ball in her hand. “You ready?”

i don’t pay attention to the world ending. it has ended for me   many times and began again in the morning.

                                       I never wanted them. 

              The pain of loss, the terror, the maddening solitude…