WHO'S THERE?

“let my love be a wolf. / i’ll lay my head on a bed of her teeth.”

“Heart on fire, ashes everywhere — there’s no return from a red like that.”

“A traumatized child becomes desperate to relieve the anxiety and depression of abandonment. The critic-driven child can only think about the ways they are too much or not enough. The child’s unfolding sense of self (the healthy ego) finds no room to develop. Their identity virtually becomes the critic. The superego trumps the ego. In this process, the critic becomes increasingly virulent and eventually switches from the parents’ internalized voice: “You’re bad” to the first person: “I’m bad”. This is unlike the soldier in combat who does not develop a toxic critic. This process whereby the superego becomes carcinogenic is a key juncture where ptsd morphs into cptsd.”

*my girl yelling at me*

i think i’m in love with you,, have a nice day

Call it love that I need to eat you? That’s no good, it’s still fated, fearful But love is too.

I will crawl to you across this burning parking     lot of a city, lick your body new again like my tongue is God’s hand trying to erase and recreate the earth.

“…god, how I ricochet between certainties and doubts.”

I thought I was approaching her speedily, but found that I had approached only my ruin.

“Where I went, no one could follow. Yet someone managed to hold my hand.”

“l sobbed so hard my ribs were breaking; l ran through the fire, having won everything and lost everything at the same hour.”