It's time for Afrika!

I’ll be home in 10 days! Thats so crazy to think about..

While in Cape Town I climbed up Lions Head Peak. It was such a nice hike with a beautiful view at the top. I saw a couple get engaged at the top. Engagements seem to be a theme for the past couple months I’ve got so many people getting engaged around me. The next day I decided to go up Table Mountain. It was hot, and I got a late start so It wasn't the right day to hike it. I’m not used to being places where you need to buy the tickets (online) ahead of time. I wanted to go to Robben Island but tickets were sold out for a week. The guy looked at me like I was dumb when I said I wanted a ticket for the ferry that leaves in a half hour.. So instead I waited for two hours in the line for the Table mountain cable car for people who didn't buy tickets ahead of time. It was so hot and there were so many tourists around me. Now I realize I’m a tourist too.. but I consider myself more patient and culturally aware (at least in Africa) than those around me. I hate hearing racist comments from people about Africans. Like, you’re in their country on vacation, respect them. On top of Table mountain was crowded with people, and the wait to get down the mountain took two hours too. I lump it in the same category as Victoria Falls, nice and definitely a natural wonder that you should see, but I don't need to see it more than once. 

The past two weeks I’ve been in Bloemfontein, South Africa. This is a nice place. Beautiful views, smaller, less touristy place than Cape Town. I’m staying at a place called Cheetah Experience. I’m doing one of those “pay to volunteer” stints. As volunteers here we clean enclosures, prepare food, and distribute food to the over 50 cats that live here. They breed cheetahs with the ultimate goal of releasing them into the wild. If you want to know more specifics I’ll gladly talk to you about it, message me, I just don't want to get into all the boring details here. I started giving tours too since I’m fluent in English. There are volunteers here from all over the world. They’re very different people than Peace Corps Volunteers. I feel like I don't belong to a specific country. There’s another American here but it’s even hard to relate sometimes because I haven’t been there in two years so I don't get a lot of references. It’s easier just to tell people I live in Zambia. This is most of their first time coming to Africa, so while people are freaking out that the internet is out again, I’m freaking out because my clothes were washed by a washing machine. It’s like a weird 1/2 America here. They have cheese and internet and hot water and washing machines, but the power still goes out, the outlets still blow out my chargers, and I still don't understand the language.

Working with cheetahs have been amazing. If you know anything about me its that I have been dreaming of doing pretty much exactly this since elementary school. I specifically remember being in middle school saying I want to feed and pick up cheetah poop one day. Well here I am! I want to stay here and work here. Unfortunately I’ve got loans to pay off first. The other night I had a sleepover with the cheetah cubs. It’s such a surreal experience falling asleep with three, collie sized cats curled up next to you, and to wake up to one of them licking your face. We’re friends now. Joyce, Tinashe, Abigale, and I. Joyce didn't like me the first few days but I think since I slept in the enclosure with her she’s seen me as less of a threat. I wish everyone could experience seeing a cheetah, or really any wild animal, run up to you and purr and hug you. It’s so amazing. The alpha wolf doesn't really like me, but thats okay. I think she knows I’m more of a cat person. The leopard cubs are cool, I haven't had so much time with them, Gemini the black leopard kept leaping on my shoulders when I was trying to clean her enclosure yesterday. She used soft paws, but still, she's a big cat so I have a nice bruise on my shoulder. 

So I haven't had internet access on my computer since I left Arusha, So I broke up my travels by country, so this is a long post:

Tanzania

So I went with that group of Italians to the Ngorogoro crater! Best decision ever! Words cannot properly explain how beautiful that place was. If you’re ever in Arusha and you have to pick one safari, go to Ngorogoro. Of course that’s the only safari I went on there but I cant image any of the parks being more beautiful. The scenery was just as amazing as the animals. You start off climbing up and up the crater rim and then all of a sudden your car pulls around a corner and everything opens up! To the left you see Arusha, and the valley you just climbed up from and to the right.. wow the right you see inside the Ngorogoro crater. You can see miles and miles before the atomosphere makes it look like the ground fades into sky. You see the crater walls wrap around a beautiful savannah valley like a cereal bowl. It’s truly breathtaking. We were hurried back into the car from our guide and began to descend into the crater. Panoramic beautiful views. As we drove around the inside of the crater we saw zebras, elephants, hippos, lions (!), wildabeast, a ton of birds, hyenas, and our guide showed us some rhinos through the binoculars. We saw two female lions who just finished snacking on a wildebeest. They kept coming up and lying down in the shade of our car. Absolutely amazing. It’s hard for your eyes to take everything in. Even ascending from the crater was thrilling, you take this steep road back and forth getting higher with each turn. You’re amazed by the view, and then you turn again and are even higher and its even more amazing!

I spent the next day wandering around Arusha, town/city wandering is one of my favorite activities to do on my own. I went to the Maasai Market and bought as many beaded things as my bag could hold, as well as some gauged Maasai earrings. It was a nice feeling having people point to my gauged ears and say “ooh you are a maasai!”. I felt like I belonged to a secret club. For once people weren’t freaked out by the big holes in my ears!

Shawn and I went to hike to the Mt. Meru waterfalls on his last day. I don’t normally like when guys just decide they’re your “guide” even if you don’t want one and then ask for a tip afterwards, but I’m thankful for the “guides” that came with us. It was raining which meant the steep path down and up from the falls was all mud and slick rock. At some points they basically carried me by my elbows down/up some slopes. The waterfall was so tall and thin it reminded me of the Wli falls I saw on my first trip to Ghana. Except less bats. I was even able to climb some rocks and stand on a ledge behind the falls.

I had one day back in Dar es Salaam before I flew out of East Africa. I walked around a lot. I saw Coco beach, and basically just wandered until my flip flops broke, then used an Uber for the first time in my life.

Ghana

My flight to Ghana went smoothly. I *think I saw Mt. Kilimanjaro out the window of the plane!

I was welcomed at the airport for the third time by my friend Awushie. Awushie was my mentor on my first trip to Ghana, and we’ve stayed in contact since then (2011). Since I last saw her in 2012 she has gotten married and had 2 kids (and a third one is gonna pop out any day now!) This woman is amazing, she’s 9 months pregnant, working 12 hour night shifts at a hospital, taking college classes during the day, helping run a private, primary school, AND taking care of her two boys! And as if that wasn’t enough she took me in for a week as if I was her own daughter, fed me, and had her cousins show me around Accra. I got to observe some lessons at the school her family owns. I was so impressed when the kindergarteners were speaking to me in English. I havn’t heard any kid younger than like 6th grade speak English to me in over two years. It’s strange being able to ask them questions and not get a blank stare back. I got to observe their math class and play games with the 2nd graders. They’re all so bright. Awushie’s own boys are so sweet. I’m so glad I got to meet her family. I came to Accra during slow season so unfortunately the museum and Jamestown castle were closed to the public. I got to walk around the giant fish market though, and see the beautiful Kwame Nkrumah Mausoleum. I forgot how spicy West African food is. It’s good! But a bit spicy for my mouth.

Next I went to the Cape Coast. It’s west of the capital. I stayed in a cute bamboo hostel right on the beach, and slept on a grass bed. Hearing the rumbling of the waves at night was so nice. I really missed the beach being in Zambia. From the shore in front of the hostel you can see the Cape Coast Castle. Cape Coast is a beautiful little town. I was surprised how many vegan/vegetarian restaurants there were. I did a tour of Cape Coast Castle and Elmina Castle (about a half hour west of where I was staying). Both were used in the slave trade. Elmina Castle is the oldest in west Africa, over 500 years old. I don’t quite have the right words to say to sum up the experience of walking though the castles, seeing the dungeons, and the doors of no return. I wish everyone could go and see and feel it for themselves. It’s haunting. You feel death there. You know that thousands of people suffered in the same place your standing. It’s disgusting that humans did that to other humans. That we’re capable of such cruelty. We can’t forget the past. If we forget it we’re bound to repeat it. I also got to walk around three smaller forts, Ft. St. Jago, Ft. Victoria, and Ft. William.

My bus ride up to Kumasi was definitely not glamourous. Luckily it was only 4 hours. The nicer bus was sold out so I was in the back seat of a minibus next to a tall lady who’s legs were where mine were supposed to go. The seat in front of me was so close my elbows hit the back of the woman in front of me, if both our backs were flat against the seats. Not exaggerating.

Kumasi is a busy city. I went to the Armed Forces Museum and the Palace Museum. I really don’t like having guided tours in museums. I enjoy just strolling at my own pace and reading the plaques next to pieces. But both had guided tours. The tour guide in the Armed Forces Museum wrongly assumed I was more interested in the types of guns than the stories of the people who fought in the battle. So most of the tour was him explaining the hundreds of guns, and briefly giving me a description of the people who held them. The Palace Museum was nice. I learned a lot about the British-Ashanti war. I liked learing about Yaa Asantewaa, the first and only female war leader. Here’s a nice quote from her, “If you, the men of the Asante, will not go forward then we will. We, the women will. I shall call upon my fellow women. WE will fight! WE will fight til the last of us falls in the battlefields.” I want to learn more about her.

I also spent a while walking through the Kumasi Market. It is the largest market in all of West Africa apparently. I believe it. For as much beads as I got in Tanzania, I got fabric here. Batik, Kente, I love it.

When I get home I just want to wear all the beads and cloth at once.

South Africa

After a very long plane trip, and 7 hours waiting in Cape Town airport for my lost baggage to show up I finally stepped onto South African ground. Wow is Cape Town big! The buildings are huge! And everyone speaks English! And there are white people! So many! It’s pretty overwhelming… I spent today blindly wandering around staring up at the towers, and the crazy views of Table Mountain between buildings. I ate McDonalds and Dunkin Donuts. Something I’ve been looking forward to for two years. It tasted just as beautiful as I remembered it. I tried to take my clothes to the laundromat but she said they wouldn’t be done until Monday, and I was about to hand over all the clothes I own. I’m in a very touristy area. I kind of wish I was here with a friend so I could have someone to go out at night with. I don’t really feel comfortable going out to clubs or bars by myself.

These past two weeks have been a whirlwind! Saying goodbye to Solwezi was hard. It’s amazing how you can make such great friends in just four months.

           Our ring out ceremony was okay. I’ve never been too good at things like that, I didn’t go to my own college graduation because of it. We came as ~62 and less than half of us rang out with me. A lot went home because of medical, or safety and security, or this just wasn’t for them. A good number early COSed last month to start jobs or grad school, and a good number is extending a third year in Zambia. I rang the tire, got my pin, and said goodbye to Peace Corps.  I am now an RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer). That night we all had a nice steak dinner to celebrate.

           The next day I got on the old bus to Northern Province. In Kasama I got to spend time with my RPCV neighbor, Claire, at her office. She runs an organization called Bakashana, which gives girls from rural areas an opportunity to go to secondary school. They’re currently running programs through an MTV grant to work with BanaChimbusas. The BanaChimbusas are the women in the villages that run ceremonies for young girls. I had the privilege of sitting in on one of these workshops. Bakashana teaches the women about HIV, cervical cancer, and general woman’s health so they can spread the message onto the young girls they’re initiating. In addition to dancing and celebrating with the BanaChimbusas, I got to meet the newest edition to the Lukupa family, Claire’s beautiful baby boy. I had a unique peace corps experience of having other RPCV’s live in the same school district as me. Claire is the most selfless, caring person I know. She has an amazing ability to connect to others. Her and her husband have integrated flawlessly into Zambian culture, and inspire everyone they interact with. I feel so blessed to have been invited into their home. If anyone actually reads my blog and is looking for a good cause to donate to this holiday season please consider Bakashana. I personally seen all the good even the smallest donation does. You can read more at www.bakashana.org

           While in Kasama I got the chance to reunite with a lot of people. First I went back to my old hut to see my brothers, the kids, and my host mom. I was welcomed back with so many hugs and a freshly killed chicken. I was only gone four months but already toddlers have taken their first steps, exams have been passed, and new babies have been born. I showed by brothers pictures from northwest and they laughed as I tried to speak Lunda and Kaonde. Bamayo moved into my hut, which I was expecting, my replacement was moved to a host family closer to school. She made it her own with couches and televisions that don’t work because the solar setup is broken. The next day I went to the river with Mutale and Mwamba and soaked in the sun and freezing water. Saying goodbye was hard but not as hard as last time. We’ll keep in touch.

           Next I went to Florence’s house. It was great to see her, BashiMule, and the kids again. Kiri was even smiling which she’s usually too stubborn to do! We drank village beer and walked around talking about trees, the farm, and the future. That night Cecilia and Kiri joined me in my tent for the slumber party Cecilia was always asking for. I woke up the next morning to them cuddling close to me and pinching my face, smiling.

           I even got to see BaRemy and pay him for some more baskets, because of everyone’s support all of his children’s school fees are paid for. In town I met up for lunch with Madam Mulenga, my computers counterpart and she told me about her upcoming wedding. I really value all the relationships I made there. I never thought I would feel so close to people I couldn’t even communicate in English with. Living in a village has been humbling and eye opening in so many ways that I don’t think you’ll ever fully understand unless you’ve done it yourself. I believe I’ve changed a lot in the past two years and hope to carry some of that with me to America.

 I left Kasama early on the train. I met up with a friend, another education volunteer from my intake named Shawn on the train. We spent two nights and three days there all the way to Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. This was my second time in Dar. I really like Tanzania. The Swahili language is beautiful. There’s so much more color, spices, smells, and sights than in Zambia. I think it’s a combination of different religions and cultures coming together, as well as being a mountainous country along the Indian Ocean. I wandered over to the National Museum of Tanzania and looked at all the fossils, rock art, and artifacts from an older country than the one I am standing in now. Shawn and I walked down Obama Road to get a glimpse of the Indian Ocean, it is too cold to swim though. Yesterday we took a 13 hour bus ride to the Northern part of Tanzania, past the Kilimanjaro, to a town called Arusha. While long, the bus ride was nicer than the ones in Zambia, it had AC, a toilet on board, and refreshments. Oh! And enough seat room! We’re staying at White House backpackers and I’ve already made friends with a group of Italian doctors who I think I’ll be joining on a Safari today. This place is really cute, run by some locals who love meeting people from all over the world.

Well, it looks like I’ve got about 20 days left as a Peace Corps Volunteer. Each week is going faster than the last. I’m holding on to everything I can wishing it to last just a bit longer. About ten people I came to country with already are back in America for school or work. My RPCV friend Claire from my village in Northern just had a beautiful baby boy last week, and I have a friend from college getting married in a couple weeks. Things are happening and time is pushing on whether I want it to or not. My replacement moves in next week here in Solwezi. In September my replacement in my village will move in. I met him when he first came to country. 

So what are my plans you ask? After I ring out I’m going to head back to my old village for some time. I’m going to reunite with my host family and friends. I’m also going to meet Claire’s little boy. I’ll take the train once more to Tanzania, then bus to Kenya. In both countries I’ll wander aimlessly through markets, I’ll buy new clothes, I’ll sit on a beach with white sand and turquoise water, I’ll drink the famous East Africa coffee from small cafe’s, and I may even go on a safari and see the famous Ngorogoro crater. I don't have anything planned. I just want to be there. After months of asking dozens of people to come with me, I’ve finally gained peace with traveling on my own. No one will expect me to be anywhere, I can wake up whenever I want, I can go wherever I want to go.  I’ve wanted to go to. Kenya since I first learned what Africa is. After going to Kenya I’ll bop over to Ghana for the third time in my life. I’ll meet up with my friend Awushie who was one of my mentors on my first trip there. She’s been an amazing friend to me over the years. Always checking in, always helping me travel and get visas. I cant wait to see her again. Since I was last there she’s gotten married and now is about to have her third child. Time flies. Then I’ll fly to Cape Town, South Africa for a couple days. I’m hoping to eat some McDonalds and hike Table Mountain. My last stop will be to Bloemfontein, South Africa. I’m going to hang out on a cheetah conservation sanctuary. I’ll clean some enclosures, give some tours, and hang out with cheetahs, leopards, servals, tigers, and lions 24/7. If you know anything about me you know that that is all I really want in life. I’ll be in heaven. 

So that’s about it! I don't think I’ll have a lot of internet access in Tanzania, Kenya, and Ghana, and probably not a lot of phone minutes I’ll have to figure it out. So don't worry if you don't hear from me. I’m fine. When I return to America I’m hoping to take a trip up to Boston and then down to DC in the first month or so to catch up with friends. So let me know if you want me to stop by!

I’m back in Lusaka… again. This time it’s the last time before I ring out. I’m here for COS (Close of Service) medical checkups. This means dentist check-in, check for parasites, TB, HIV, malaria, abnormal growths, and all the other fun things we could get while being here. Good news is I’m clean! I think. So far.

 I’m preparing a lot of my COS trip. After an array of people saying they’ll tag along and then backing out I can confidently say I’m doing a solo trip. It’s okay. When I left for Peace Corps one of the things I wanted to learn was how to travel on my own, and here it is, here’s my chance. I just went today to drop off my Ghanaian visa application. My friend in Ghana has been SOOO helpful with helping me get all the documents I need. I’ve had issues with a number of people I met there in the years since I was there, but she has always had my back and been there for me. I cant wait to see her and her new family!

 I have about 5 weeks left as a Peace Corps Volunteer. The closer I get to the end the more I don’t want to leave. It’s going to be very sad. A good number of my friends are staying for a third year and it will be hard to say goodbye to them not knowing when I’ll see them again, and also wanting to stay with them.

 I find out who my replacement is in my village today! It’s causing so many mixed feelings. You’re excited because your village is getting another volunteer, and you’ll get to share so many things with that person, but you’re also scared because you don’t want to feel replaced with everyone you cared about.

A few weeks ago I went down to Lusaka again to meet the new Education and Health volunteers at the airport! This is especially exciting because my replacement is somewhere in that group. I don't know who it is yet, but this means that I’m very close to the end of my service. We stayed with them for their first few days in the country. Its fun to see how new and unknowing they are and remember when we used to be like that. It really makes you see how much you have grown yourself in the past two years. 

I’m back in Solwezi now preparing sites for this new group. The provincial team and I are going to villages, introducing peace corps and telling them what they can expect from a volunteer, everything from what type of work they will be doing, to the diversity of Americans. This is both exciting and exhausting. I don’t know the Kaonde or Lunda language very well so it’s frustrating when villagers think that I am brand new because I can't communicate to them. There are just a few people that speak Bemba, and when I use it they tell me I should have learned Kaonde because I’m in the Northwest. They don’t care that I spent two years in Bemba-land. Its also frustrating how much I am stared at. I got to a point in my own village where people were used to me, and I wasn't so exciting to the kids anymore so the staring was minimal. At these new sites I can feel all the eyes on me, and I know as soon as I turn around there will be small faces peering through everything to get a glance of me. I’m in a fishbowl again. I love seeing all the different types of villages, and meeting the volunteers future families and counterparts, but I can't stand feeling like a zoo animal. 

My feet have carried me so far.   They've  run me hundreds of miles, hiked mountains, done floor and beam routines with perfect balance, and just generally held me upright for my whole life. I've had more feet problems than anything else  in Zambia though. This is their story.

I jumped down off the airplane  in Zambia 25 months ago. They were twice the size as when we took off. I removed my shoes only to find the  imprint of the shoes dug into my skin. The shoes wouldn't fit back on. I tiptoed around the lodge  like I was walking on needle filled balloons.  The swelling went down in a few days leaving my skin looking like an elephants'.

Over the next few months in training my feet tried to adjust to how dry Zambia was at the time. I remember seeing grand canyon-esque crevasses in my heels. The cracks were as deep as a bulldog's wrinkles. Taking lotion baths every night did very little. My host mother even took rocks to them a few times to try to sandpaper the dryness off. I can't really remember how long it took for the cracks to heal but they're not there any more so my feet must have gotten used.  

My feet did really well my first year of service! I biked to school everyday and to town almost once a week. I walked from one side of the village to the other perfectly fine. We were on very good terms then.

I must have done something to piss them off though because  about a year in I was walking to the toilet after dark and rolled my foot on the loose ground. I sat on the ground for a few minutes hoping I'd be able to get up. I heard a crack but I also fell into a pile of leaves. I was able to get up and after a rough night called the doctor the next morning. I got an xray in kasama and the doc assured me it was just a sprain and I should keep off of it for a few days. A few days later I went down for our midterm conference and was told no... it's fractured. So after a little over a week of walking around  on it and walking to and from doctors appointments I finally got a boot. The fracture is healed now but still hurts if I sit on it funny, walk alot on uneven surfaces (which is all the time) and stand on it for long periods of time.

Over a month ago I started hobbling on the other foot. I stepped on something in the grass and started bleeding. As deep as I dug, and as much as another volunteer probed we couldn't find anything stuck in there. But it continued to pain. A few weeks ago I saw the doctor in Lusaka, she  probed and couldn't find anything either. It was infected so I went on antibiotics in hopes it all went away. It didn't. Last week I came down and got another xray. They found something stuck in there and I went to the surgeon to get it cut out. He pulled out a small piece of glass and left the wound open because it was still infected. It's looking alot better today although it's still paining.

I'm hoping this saga ends here but I wouldn't  be surprised if I came back to America with no feet at all. Prosthetics have come a long way. Zambia is rough on the body. The volunteers I've met here are some of the strongest people I've met. We get hurt, we complain for a bit, we take some antibiotics, and we bounce back.

Long post warning!

SO much has happened!

So we finished posting, which means bringing all the new volunteers to their villages. It went pretty smoothly with the exception of two sites who didn’t finish the volunteer’s house, but it worked out in the end as it always does.

I came down to Lusaka with the rest of my intake for our COS (Close of Service) Conference. This conference is for when there are 3 months left in our service. It acts as a last celebration when we’re all together (a good number of volunteers early COS for school or jobs). We discuss our future plans, and reflect on our service. Our Conference took place at Chaminuka lodge, which, if you’ve ever stayed there you know, is super bwana (Bemba for fancy and western). The food was AMAZING. We got three course meals and all the cheese you can imagine. We did a game drive, which I actually don’t recommend coming there to do. They have all the regular animals but all of the big cats were kept in enclosures which made a lot of us feel a little uncomfortable. We also did a cheese and wine tasting. I’m pretty sure the wine was the same as the boxed wine I buy in the boma, but there were like 13 different types of cheese. Super fancy. We had a candlelight ceremony where we all talked about how much we liked each other. Cheesy (no pun intended) but it did make most of us tear up. It’s been so sad saying goodbye to people. Especially people I know live far away and I probably won’t see again stateside.

To my friends and family back in America. We had a session about readjusting to American life, and reconnecting to Americans. We heard testimonials from RPCVs (Returned Peace Corps Volunteers). I posted on Facebook how I was anxious about returning and I got a few friends and family members messaging me telling me they’re excited for me to return and how it will be great. It’s going to be hard. Really hard. I’m telling you that now. Just my transition from my hut to living in a Zambian town/city has been a hard adjustment, so I imagine it will be harder when I get back to America. It’s little things. Like seeing water being wasted and knowing how I had to haul my own everytime I wanted to even wash a dish. Or hearing town children whining about how they can’t buy the cool new toy and knowing how my host siblings used to mold toys out of leftover wire they found. Or seeing everyone I loved age two years. Or throwing in a Bemba phrase and having no one understand what I mean. Or going to buy an apple and knowing I used to buy them for 30 cents.  Or people calling Africa a county. Or going to the supermarket and seeing a whole aisle dedicated to cereal (often used as an example of things that gave RPCVs anxiety.) I’m a different person since being here. How I view the world has changed. Please be patient with me. Understand readjusting will be even harder than adjusting to coming to Zambia.

On Friday I went back to visit my host family from training. It was a good but strange experience. You realize how almost staged your training host family is. My host family has had 3 volunteers after me and I was number 4. I’m becoming just a number to them. Don’t get me wrong, they still welcomed me like family. Bamayo is such an amazing woman. She’s so strong and in control and I wish she was my host mother for my whole service. I walked in and she was immediately concerned at how much skinnier I look from when I was last there 2 years ago. She then proceeded to feed me three dinners. I saw three out of four of my host sisters. All two years older. They’ve grown up so much, and their English was so good. They asked me if I was going to stay with them all week and it broke my heart to tell them I had to leave the next morning. My little host nephew who couldn’t even walk or talk when I left is now running around and speaking like he’s the man of the house. It was all so much to take it. It gave me a little taste of how overwhelming it will be to see friends and family back in America after two years.

Yesterday I went to the Dutch market near the PC office. It was pretty good. It’s hard seeing so many nice things and knowing we can’t afford them on our PC allowance. One day. We also went paintballing for my friend birthday yesterday. My first time firing anything that resembles a gun and I confirmed that I do not like it very much. Good to know though. We ended the day by getting 3 beer towers at Keg and Lion. I’m still in Lusaka for VAC (Volunteer Advisory Committee) meetings this week. As a PCVL (Peace Corps Volunteer Leader) I’m now on VAC and that means I get to talk to staff about volunteer’s concerns and complaints. Fun.

I’m starting to plan out my COS trip. I’m really excited. For everyone back home I’m planning on returning the end of October. I want to see as many people as possible. I plan on taking a road trip up to Boston and maybe New Hampshire or Vermont in November, and maybe even down to DC to see some RPCVs if I have time.

Things are just starting to quiet down up here! Last week I went down to the capital to go to the swearing-in ceremony for the new Agriculture and Aquaculture volunteers. This week has been a whirlwind of helping the 13 new volunteers in Northwest shop for their huts, packing them onto cruisers and sending them off to their new sites. I’m busy, I’m exhausted, but I’m really enjoying this new position. I’m sort of half staff, half volunteer. I get to be surrounded by volunteers all the time, and see new villages, and learn two new languages. I get hot showers, an actual toilet, and internet which is beautiful after not having it for two years. :) Everyone up here has been SO supportive of me as I get adjusted in a new space. With internet and a solid phone signal I’m able to keep up from friends and family from home so much better so if you want to talk reach out! My phone is attached to my hip now. 

I’ve really been experimenting with cooking. I was never one to cook in the states, I always ordered take out or had friends that would cook for me. Being in Zambia I have really learned so much. In the village I learned about being creative when you don't have many ingredients, an oven, or a fridge. I would make bread, avocado pasta, and rice stir fry. Here in town I have a fridge and an oven and its opened up a ton of new possibilities. I make brownies, smoothies, and I even cooked cow tongue today! (would recommend, real good, like pulled pork). I hope to learn more about spices here because I know nothing besides salt and pepper. 

Wow it’s been a while since I have updated this blog. SO MUCH has happened! The last time I posted I talked about a phone interview. Well I’m happy to say that I got the position and I’ve already started! This past month has been so busy! So I found out a week or so after the interview that I got the position as PCVL (Peace Corps Volunteer Leader) in Northwest Province. I was told I would be moving on April 15th. So I finished my term at school. I was very happy with the final exam results, almost all but 2-3 of my English students passed and 50% of my Computer Studies students passed! (I know 50% doesn’t sound good but it actually is for an exam, the ones I give are fill-in-the-blank instead of multiple choice like all the other teachers so its more difficult). I finished my Boys and Girls clubs encouraging them to continue meeting while I’m gone and to ask my replacement to continue clubs. (I believe my replacement is coming in September.) I said goodbye to all of my students, my counterparts and fellow teachers, my friends in the village, and my host family. It was incredibly difficult. The only thing I could tell them is that I’m going to try to pass through in August so hopefully I’ll see them one more time. I gave away most of my things to my host brothers and friends in the village. Tears were shed. It wasn’t my whole two years, it was just 20 months, but I considered them actual family, actual friends. Being here is so surreal, its like our life in America is on hold and we’re just living this alternate reality over here. I’m probably never going to live in a hut again. It was over as fast as it began. I enjoyed my time in the village and have so many stories and experiences. I don’t regret anything.   I stayed in Kasama for a few days to say goodbye to my fellow volunteers. Some are heading back to America this week, some still have more than half their service to go, some I have been with since day 1 in Philly. We have so many goodbyes in Peace Corps. Everyone deals with them differently. Me, I just keep looking forward and try not to think about it too much. We’ve said goodbye to friends and family and relationships back home, we said goodbye to people we trained with when we all left for our own sites, every few months we say goodbye to an intake before us, people leave suddenly and sometimes we don’t even get to say goodbye, and then we say goodbye to our communities who have taken us in. It’s hard. After saying goodbye to my community and fellow PCVs, I began the long trek up to Solwezi in Northwest Province. Now I was coming from Northern and going to Northwest so they sound like they would be close, but if you look at a map of Zambia they’re almost as far away from each other as possible. 12 hours from Kasama to the capital Lusaka and spent the night and then the next morning the next 12 hour bus ride took 13 because we broke down twice. BUT I’m finally in my new home. It’s nice. I’ve got my own room thats bigger than my entire hut was, my own bathroom with a flushing toilet and shower with hot water, I got a mini fridge, and Solwezi has not one, but TWO shoprites, a pick and pay, and a number of other places to eat out at. SO nice. Of course each province has its positives and negatives, the roads are extremely bad here and all the sites are wicked far away, and there is a lot more harassment, BUT it’s definitely an improvement overall and a nice transition for the last 4 months before I start heading back to America. My position is very different from what I was doing. I’m basically a support system for the volunteers. I live at the Volunteer house and office and help keep up with the house, and work with two Zambian staff members here to help develop new sites for incoming volunteers. Its a lot of traveling around and telling people to work faster. I’ll be going down to Lusaka next week to see the trainees be sworn in as volunteers, and I’ll bring them up here and help them shop, and get posted at their sites. There’s about 40 volunteers up here and I think I’ve met most of them over this past weekend. It’s crazy, and unlike anything I ever thought I’d be doing when I was in college, but exciting. I find I’m very good at getting myself into positions that put me outside my comfort zone. (ex. I don’t like public speaking and just finished working as a teacher for two and a half years,  or I’m not confrontational and now I need to tell people what to do and enforce rules) But its good for me, everything is a learning experience, and it’s not for very long so I think I can manage.

So I love making lists. My notes app is full of em. Here are three more lists about my time here: more things I miss, things I don’t miss, and trade offs

10 more things I miss:

1. Elvis Duran and the morning Zoo. I listened to them everyday from before junior year of high school until I left for zambia June 2015. They would always start my morning off right with a smile and laugh. I can’t wait to get back stateside and hear all their voices again and catch up on the phone taps I missed 2. Blending into a crowd- I pass some people and I turn around to see that they’re already turned around looking at me. It’s a constant feeling that you’re being watched. If this happened to everyone I passed in the states I would think I’m paranoid and losing my mind. I just want to be ignored. 3. Shopping for new clothes . Looking cute in new clothes.  Nothing with holes or dirt stains on it. Unfortunately stains and holes were also my life in college and might not change when I return. I’ll also still be too broke to but new clothes. 4. Netflix. I miss shows. I miss falling asleep watching Netflix.  I miss documentaries and crappy horror movies. 5. Letting my legs be free. My legs are so white and sun deprived! I don’t like feeling scandalous if my chitenge falls and I’m wearing guys long gym shorts underneath. The knees are not sexual! I can’t believe how short my dresses or shorts were at home. It must be so exhilarating to feel sun and wind on your knees. Wow. 6. Tap water . Being able to drink a free glass of water out of a faucet and not be scared that I’ll have explosive diarrhea from a parasite for the next week. 7. Knowing who’s important in my best friends lives. With me being far for college and then PC some of my best friends have been in relationships with guys for years now and I’ve never even met them! That makes me sound like a mom, but still, I love my friends and I’m curious who they love and want to be happy for them and live vicariously through them. 8. Foodler,  and living in walking distance to a supermarket- just the ability to eat virtually any type of food at any time of day is an amazing concept 9. Not having to worry about critters. Rats, snakes, spiders, killer ants. No thank you. 10. Sleeping in/lying in bed all day. If I’m still in my hut at 9 am ( or even 8) I can guarantee someone will comment about how much I sleep when I finally emerge. Everyone here wakes up at the cracks of dawn here (although I am miraculously always the first one at school) and you’re considered lazy if you sleep any later. On weekends my conscious will let me sleep til 7:30 the latest before I feel overwhelming guilt

10 things I don’t miss about America:

1. feeling pressure to wear makeup everyday - I do miss wearing makeup and will put it on every once in a while to feel “pretty” or like my old self again. But it is nice knowing that I can go out in public and not be judged because my eyelashes are white and I look like a preteen. My face is also grateful I’m not coating it everyday with muck. 2. feeling pressure to shave. Let the armpit hair be free! Shaving takes up so much time! Without shaving my legs every other day I have more time to sit on my porch and stare at my cats 3. the snow or the cold. During cold season it gets down to the 40s here and I die. I’m not looking forward to going back to Jersey or Boston winters.  Remember when I was little and wearing a jacket or sweatshirt everyday during the summer? I do that here if it drops below 70. When I return in November you still might not see me for a few more months 4. not having tea time- tea time is a thing here! PC trainings, some school meetings, everyone’s always got tea or instant coffee 5. not being judged by how much salt and sugar I use. Zambians LOVE sugar and salt. And I fit right in. 6. mirrors. I’ve got a small broken mirror in my hut with poor lighting, and I take selfies. About once a month at the prov house I get a full length mirror and I’m never too happy with what I see. I’ve come a long way in accepting the way I look, but let me tell you, the less you see yourself in mirrors or pictures the easier it is 7. Air and light pollution.  You can see galaxies here 8. That you can’t just pitch a tent and sleep anywhere 9. Children understanding when your curse. I get so frustrated sometimes I just curse out loud and NO ONE is corrupted by it it’s great. 10. Not having free time. We’ve got a ton of downtime that I use to draw, read, write, and really think about life. It’s beautiful.

Trade offs we make here is Zambia:

Well, I left home over 600 days ago. Thats so crazy to think about. I’ve got about 5 months left as a Peace Corps Volunteer and about 7 months before I step back on American soil. 

I recently had a phone interview for a position I’m hoping to start next month. It sounded like I had a good chance of getting it but I’m trying not to get my hopes up too too much. I’d be moving provinces and not living in the village anymore. I love my village and have gotten pretty close to a few people here, but I don't enjoy teaching English so much. I want to see other parts of the country and try to use my skills in a different way. I’m sure I’ll update everyone as soon as I hear back from Peace Corps. 

If anyone follows me on instagram or Facebook they’ll see I’ve been doing a daily photo challenge on it. As I’ve said before I really miss art and have been trying real hard this past month or so to get back into the rhythm and life of an artist. 

I held an art show displaying my students art work yesterday! Back in year one my gracious grandmother sent me a ton of disposable cameras (something she uses regularly) and I gave them out to some of my host brothers, their friends, and some girls in my GLOW club. When my parents came I gave the cameras to them to take back to the states. Once they were all printed my wonderful parents sent them back to me. I’ve spent the past week rallying my village to get excited for an event that they really didn't understand. “You just come and look at the photos?” they asked. So I had to lure the community with juice, balloons, music, and other muzungus (white people). Well it worked! My host brother helped me set up and commented on how nice the photos look framed and hung up on the wall. I had so much fun organizing the photos and everyone was so excited to see them. Some of my friends came from town which was great and it took a while of me dancing by myself for other people to join in. So many of my students came and some of my best friends in the village showed up. I’m really happy with how it turned out and that my community got to see me doing something that I was really passionate about. It was definitely a highlight of my service. 

I’ve been talking to a lot of my family members recently. I’m so blessed to 1. be able to communicate with them (virtually) whenever I want to and 2. to have so many loving family members that support everything that I do. I feel so loved and don’t know how to appropriately show my appreciation. Two years is a long time and it’s crazy seeing my younger cousins grow up into adults and begin having their own amazing experiences and points of view. And also seeing other family members start their own families and careers. I’m so proud of everyone and can’t wait to catch up in the states. 

On a little more negative note its a little disheartening to see so many people I love not support foreign aid and helping those outside of America when that literally is my whole life. We are so blessed in America. Of course there are people that need our help in America, there are people that need help everywhere. But in America almost everyone has electricity. No one regularly needs to use a drop toilet. We can drink water straight out of the faucet without boiling it or filtering it or chlorinating it first which I think so many people take for granted. It really really scares me to see the possibility of Peace Corps being defunded. It’s such an amazing opportunity to teach Americans about other cultures and to show other cultures that America is more than what they see in the movies.

Back to a more positive (?) note. I still have 10 cats... I had 12... hopefully I’ll be down to 7 by next week. It’s so ridiculous that all you can do is laugh. My life is filled with little fluff balls that are learning to run around and get into all sorts of trouble. My hut needs daily cleaning. At least there are no (live) mice in my place, although finding tails, and severed legs around my room isn't nice either. There’s been a lot of bats recently. When I first got to site I had bats but somehow got them to go away for a while. But they're back now. As soon as it gets dark I basically hide under my mosquito net until daylight. I hate them. Even when the solar light is on in my hut they continue to fly around. One came into my classroom in broad daylight this past week and everyone thought it was hilarious seeing Madam Lee cower in the corner while everyone tried to swat it down. 

Next week I’ll be heading to Lusaka for an HIV committee meeting. The 2nd one ever in Zambia. I missed the first one because my parents were visiting but I’m excited for this one. 

January has been overall a slow month. The month coming back from vacation always calls for a sort of depression. Its like a taste of being in America again, hot water, fully charged phones, snapchat, friends, adventure, full, happy bellies. So coming back to the village again after that is always a little hard. I’ve been doing a lot of planning this past month. Planning for the last few months of my service, planning lessons for the start of school, planning for the HIV Training of Trainers that my friend and I are running this weekend, planning for a trip after I leave here, planning for a job or another adventure back in the states. I’ve made some decisions, but others still seem very unclear in my mind, or just need time to play its part.

 I want to take a short paragraph to talk about politics. This month has been crazy. Everyday I wake up to some new ridiculous thing that has happened. Things seem to be pretty crazy in America. Where I stand is Liberal but empathetic towards the Conservative point of view, as that’s what I grew up hearing. Its exhausting. I’m constantly having to defend my friends to my family, and defend my family to my friends. And that leaves me looking like the bad guy from all angles. From my peers people like me are un-passionate about basic human rights, a soulless sexist, racist creature that is uneducated and doesn’t promote the progress of our country. From my family people like me are whiney, lazy, rebel, threatening to bring terrorists into the country, is uneducated and doesn’t promote the progress of our country. My friends and family love me. I see that in the letters they send, the gifts they give, the support they show. I know that. I appreciate that. I love… everyone. Why I ask is that if any friends or family is reading this to please please try and see the other side like I do. We are all human. We all have emotions. We all have different priorities based on the experiences we’ve had. Treat others how you would like to be treated. Be the change you want to see in the world.

 School has started slowly. My attendance has slowly  progressed as follows (out of about 100 total):

Day 1: 2 students

Day 2: 4 students

Day 3: 10 students

Day 4: 15 students

Day 5: 22 students

Day 6: 29 students

 You get the point. It’s slow. And a lot of my grade 8 students are new so it’s going to take them a while to get used to my accent and my different style of teaching.

 While my grade 8 class hasn’t been showing up, the grade 9s have (my previous class) and it’s been so good to see them again. I started GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) club the first week and 40 grade 9 girls showed up! That’s insane! My club last year had about 20 girls at most. While I’m thrilled that that many girls are interested, it’s a little overwhelming, and I think I do better working with smaller groups. I had two teachers interested in helping me out with running sessions and translations which is awesome because so far I’ve gone without a counterpart because lack of interest, but as the sessions have gone on I continue to tell the teachers, “ok we’re meeting now, I’m going to start are you coming?” and they say yes, and then don’t show up. So that’s a bummer. People like saying things here just to make you happy, and I’m afraid this is one of those cases.

Failure story: So last year I did this activity with my GLOW group and it went perfectly so I thought I’d do it again this year. It’s a lesson on self esteem. The activity is that the girls will write their name in the center of a paper and then everyone will pass their paper around the circle and everyone has to write something nice about the girl who’s name is in the center. Simple right? We did something like this when I was in Girl Scouts. I even called a teacher in to translate for me so that everyone would understand perfectly. But as the papers passed I started hearing some yelling across the circle. Girls were looking upset. One girl started crying. I told everyone to get their own paper back and took a peek at a few of them. It seems that about 3 or 4 girls wrote really nasty things on everyone’s papers. Really, really, not nice things. I had a talk with them and tried to recover the situation as best I could, but it was straight out of Mean Girls. I’m going to leave this story saying that teenage girls in Zambia are just as cutthroat as the ones in America and I am still intimidated by them.

 On the other side of the spectrum I started a Boys Club and its going fabulously! There’s only about 15 of them but their English is SO much better than the girls which just means that we can talk about things more in depth. The same thing happened as far as counterparts with boys club with girls club in that two teachers wanted to help and then never showed, or showed for 5 minutes and then got a call, excused himself and never came back. But its not so bad with the boys because they can understand my English. They told me they were interested in learning about relationships and sex which is awesome. They ask questions, and participate and show generally more interest than the girls do. I’m starting with the ABC’s with them (Abstinence, Being Faithful and Condoms) I’ve had the Abstinence lesson and I’ll say that as much as girls in Zambia are like girls in America, boys in Zambia are like boys in America. They love talking about sex and girls. Which is great for me! Because its easy to teach them. So I’m most excited about that this term.

 My friend Erin and I are running an HIV Training of Trainers this weekend. That means that we’re at the Provincial house and having a two day program to teach other volunteers about different HIV related activities we can do in our communities. It’s going really well! I think. We’ll find out after we get our evaluations. :)

A little less than 8 months left! I’m in the home stretch. Term 3 and the school year ended. I just heard that most of my grade 9s passed their computer studies exam which is great to hear. They did so much better than the year before where I only had them for half the year. Last year the grade 9s took the final exam not really knowing which button to press on a mouse. This year most of them were able to type up at least half of the letter they were assigned, and about half of them remembered the sum and average formula on Microsoft Excel so I would definitely call that progress!

 I went to Zanzibar this year for Christmas and New Years. Zanzibar is a territory island off the coast of Tanzania. We took a train from Kasama to get to Dar es Salaam, the capital of Tanzania. The train took 2 days. The first day I was stuck in 2nd class. Second class is a little closet with 6 beds squeezed into it. It was hot and smelly. Thankfully for the second day I was moved to first class, a closet with only 4 beds in it, which was so much better, I had room to sit up. In Dar we stayed at the YWCA. I definitely recommend it for people on a budget. The rooms were decent sized and the communal bathroom was clean and they give you breakfast in the morning. Even just across the border on the train we could tell we were in a completely different country. No one speaks Bemba in TZ. The official language is Swahili which we know very little of. I traveled with 12 other PC Zambia volunteers. Customs on the train was just ok. For anyone looking to travel to TZ (or I’m assuming anywhere with a visa now), the fee is $100 and they only accept crisp (not even torn a little) bills that are newer than 2006. So check the dates on your bills, this caused us a little trouble. But we made it! Dar is absolutely beautiful. Now I love Zambia, its literally home, but upon leaving you realized how deprived your senses have been. Everything in TZ is so full of life and culture. A large portion of the population is Muslim compared to 100% of Zambia being Christian. There were so many more sights, colors, smells, food, people of different ethnicities and religions than I’ve ever seen in Zambia. There’s motorcycles, coconuts, street meat, and seafood! One of my first meals there was crab legs, and anyone that knows me knows that that is my favorite food and I’ve been missing it terribly for the past 19 months. We ate new fruit like lychee, jack fruit, star fruit, and coconut milk right out of the coconut. We bought beads and chitenge galore.  We spent two nights in Dar. We then took the dreaded journey by ferry to the island of Zanzibar. The ferry station is a disaster, full of people trying to trick you into buying their tickets. If you take the ferry make sure you reserve ahead of time and GET A RESERVATION NUMBER. And even then go the day before and get the physical ticket. This caused a stressful day for us. The ferry ride was about two hours long which I tried to just close my eyes and block out. TZ in literally 20 degrees F hotter than Zambia, and being by an ocean meant that its unbelievably humid. I must have sweat out half my body weight. Literally all day and night we were all just dripping. We finally made it to Nungwi beach where we spent Christmas and New Years. We stayed at a cute little lodge about a 5 minute walk from the beach. I have never seen water this blue, or sand this white. When the sky hit the water you would see bright purple reflecting off the waves creating a beautiful psychedelic look. Every day it was such a relief to swim in the water to escape the heat. It was our first time seeing an ocean in a year and a half. Growing up in a place where we would go to the shore a few times every summer its hard to describe how nice it was to be back on a beach. We got burnt, we got tan, we got hennas, we ate good food with good friends. It was a little hard because it is a tourist area which means everything costs the same as in America, and we’re paid roughly $200 a month. So now we’re all broke. But it was totally worth it. Christmas was quiet. New Years was the holiday. We went to a party bigger than I have ever been to even in America. It was kind of overwhelming, completely different than my village life, but still so much fun. There were so many people from all over the world. Even at our lodge we met people from Slovakia, France, Italy, and Turkey. And of course other PCVs from different African countries.

Upon our return we were put on the old train which means no electricity (no fans and no charging phones, and it broke down so it took 3 days instead of 2. Coming back from vacation here is always hard. I mean, it is no matter where you live, but when you live here you go from good food, and showers everyday, to nshima and veg, bucket baths that you need to heat up yourself, and a flat tire in your first few days back. It was good to see my host brothers again, and I was even welcomed by 4 brand new baby kittens, but the senioritis is hitting me pretty hard. I miss my American friends, and being surrounded by so much vibrant color and life. Ah well. I just got back from visiting my friend’s village for two nights. One of my friends just returned back from the states. She’s been gone for a couple months due to a family emergency, so it was nice to see her again. You never know when something is going to happen and you’re not going to see your friends again here. We learn to get used to goodbyes and just hope our paths cross in America.