Scoot

this is an example of a symbiotic relationship

adult backpack wearers of the world unite

i'm no david lynch but I know peak when I see it, twin

Literally almost every millennial I know has a memory of accidentally walking in on their parents or hearing their parents having sex. It's fucking normal. Human beings have sex. Your parents fuck. Get over it. Being weird about it isn't healthy.

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

Today a very friendly Golden Retriever came up to me and I said "hey buddy :D" and the owner asked "do you know each other?" like his dog had a social life he didn't know about

norp

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.