You hate yourself because all you listen to is trash. Okay, I know that’s a stretch but hear me out. We live in an era where music is consumed passively. There was a time when the whole family gathered around the living room so we could listen to little Tommy play his violin off-key or listen to the latest album on vinyl as a shared listening experience. Now we put shuffle on Spotify if you want to call it that, listen to their shitty quality because they don’t want to pay for better bandwidth and call that an “experience” It’s not.
Music is consumed so passively, most of us no longer care about the vile lyrics the artists are spitting out. Now, I am not here to be the fun police, but I am here to intellectualize our experiences and provide nuance and understanding to the choices we make. If you don’t like that then this is not the read for you, please, keep it moving, I have no time for low IQ engagement.
Sometimes we have to take it back to the basics. Think about the food that you eat, when you decide you want to prioritize your health you’re considerate of ingredients, habits, and lifestyle, you cut out soft drinks, abandon ultra-processed food, and limit the alcohol. Within 30 days your skin is glowing, you’re sleeping better, and walking doesn’t leave you winded.
So why do we fail to apply this knowledge to our music? They say music feeds the soul. The instruments, vocals, and creativity touch us in almost indescribable ways. The stories that are told transcend time. We know music is a universal healing experience.
Music has the power to alter our moods, change perceptions, and inspire change. It also has the powerful ability to shape our self-image. We become what we listen to, we speak the speak, dress like the artist we love, and take on their moral code. After all, their music is special, it consumes so much of our day. We probably listen to music more than the voices of our friends and family. The idolization of these artists pierces through our mental systems before we can even realize it.
Recently I was listening to Flow Milli’s “Never Lose Me” and mind you there was a time I loved this song, I could sing the lyrics as if I was feeling it in my soul. It came on in the car whilst I was with my boyfriend. Needless to say, we love music, we share songs, and love the ability of music to uplift us. It’s ultimately a reflection of our love for one another and how we feel towards each other. It speaks to our perception of the world and each other.
So when this song came on, I suddenly felt uncomfortable, and he looked at me like —this is what you like?
He speed in the Wraith while his hand on my coochie (yeah)
He touchin' Emilio Pucci (uh)
Doin' good, bitch, I'm gucci (I'm good)
Fly to Asia, he feedin' me sushi (oh)
When we fuckin', it feel like a movie
Raw bitch, ain't never been a groupie
Stiff on a ho, I like my nigga bougie (yeah)
Tell me you don't never wanna lose me
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with jamming out to a good beat. But when you’re in a place of reflection, it’s okay to question what it is you’re singing along to. I don’t want to be called a bitch, and I don’t want to be associated with a man comfortable calling me one. The truth is when we consistently and mindlessly engage and entertain music like this we’re painting a picture to the world of our self-image and in this case, it’s not a positive one (this is where you can agree to disagree).
I write this not to be shady or to police what other people listen to. Personally, I am not one to separate the art from the artist, I believe the two are so intrinsically aligned it’s unbecoming to suggest otherwise.
Women like Flo Milli who write music like this often find themselves in compromising positions with men, they become single mothers with baby daddies and sex symbols characterized as female empowerment, only to appeal so heavily to the male gaze they find another way to exploit the female image. There is nothing wrong with singing about your coochie, but the baggage it comes with almost isn’t worth the hype.
Now, this piece isn’t about the scary number of black women having babies with men they are not married to within the hip-hop community. This piece is about mindfulness.
Music that glorifies the sexual objectification of women feels good temporarily, it’s exciting and momentarily liberating. It is in direct contradiction with the moral values and positive self-image we are often aspiring to. There is so much in the world that makes us feel bad about ourselves, whether it’s our skin, weight, income, or job, listening to music with lyrics that are far from positive won’t do the trick it will only amplify pre-existing narratives.
That my body is something for men to look at and profit from
That happiness is obtainable through material gain
Music triggers physical responses in the brain and puts in motion a series of chemical reactions. It reinforces ideas and notions of what is right or wrong in our perception of the word. When we listen to music that glorifies the objectification of women, guns, murder, unobtainable material wealth, and drugs, we are essentially telling ourselves and the world this is who I am.
Building a value system and positive self-image doesn’t just happen by saying “I am a good person” It starts with taking stock of what you put into your body and that includes what you listen to.
If you’re a human being in this consumerist hellscape, you’re already inundated with commercials and influencers telling you everything that is wrong with your body, and how it should change. You reinforce a negative self-image and increase body dissatisfaction when you listen to trash.
Enjoying music that conflicts with your personal values and self-respect creates a cognitive dissonance that leads to stress, guilt, and confusion. None of those are a very kind place to be in.
I end this piece not with an order to stop listening to trendy music or to delete your booty-shaking playlist but rather a challenge.
Challenge yourself to be mindful of what you put in your soul, to have agency over the lyrics that speak over you.
andulkaphoto
areudirty
origamiaround
dailybridgerton
blakekathryn
