we'll never be royals

Nick chuckled as he listened to miss Bowen’s concerns. Why did he decide to shave this morning again? He couldn’t believe she saw him as a twenty year old while he was almost thirty in reality. Being a dad of two, most days, he felt even older. “I understand why you’re concerned, you’ve never seen me work after all and you were used to see Doctor Stevens. But I promise, I went through seven years of vet school just like she did. You underestimated my age quite a bit also -- I’m more experienced than you think,” he explained. “Don’t worry, your cat is in good hands. Shall I do a routine check-up or do you have something else to report?”

It’s not like Nick particularly enjoyed fighting with Nina. He hated it. It made him feel like his heart was being torn into pieces. On the one hand, he was mad at Nina for going behind his back and contacting a father he never wanted to speak again, but on the other hand he knew her intentions were genuine. She was his wife. All she ever wants is for him to be happy. Nick suddenly got overwhelmed by guilt. “I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have said that. I was saying you couldn’t compare our childhoods, and still I brought your mom into the picture. That was a dick move,” he admitted. He hated how furious the thought of his dad still made him. “I know I still haven’t processed everything yet. Believe me, I know. But too much has happened for me to give him the chance to make it right. At this moment in my life, I still don’t he deserves that chance. I’m sorry. He has had enough opportunities to make things right,” Nick explained, while Nina started writing up a text. “I hope you can at least understand that. I hope you don’t think I’m... I’m heartless,” he whispered, his voice starting to break. He didn’t want Nina to resent him for not having a big, accepting heart like she did. He took a deep breath, walking closer to her once again. “Drop the spoon,” he quickly commanded as he turned Nina around and comfortingly pressed her body against his. “I don’t want to fight either. And you know I will never stop loving you, no matter what you do or say,” he replied, placing a soft kiss on her temple. “I know better than to let my father ruin things between us. You and the kids, you are the highlights of my life...” He wrapped his arms around her waist more tightly, looking Nina in the eyes. “I’m truly sorry for saying such awful things.”

“I’m not mad, I’m just trying to understand why you would do this,” Nick replied defensively. Maybe in the past he used to be the kind of guy to have outbursts of anger when it came to sensitive subjects like his father, but he had matured since then. “I’m not saying you are wrong, I have let my father ruin a lot of things for me in the past and I still don’t comprehend what went wrong back then, but I’ve been moving on. I have my own family now. I let go of all that.” He knew he was rambling, and he hated discussing with Nina about anything. But what was she expecting? Did she really think he’d welcome his dad with open arms? “Even if I wanted to get back in touch with him -- I really don’t think it’s your choice to make, Nina. I’m sorry, it really isn’t.” When Nina started talking about her own situation with her mom, Nick sighed and started massaging his forehead. “Why don’t you go looking for your own mom, then? Just because our childhoods were similar doesn’t mean I feel the same way,” he explained, trying his very best to not loose his calm. “I don’t care about closure, I -- I can’t do this. I can’t.”

Then, Nina finally said what she had been meaning to say. Nick couldn’t believe what he was hearing -- was his mind tricking him? He had just wasted his thoughts on the bad example his father had been, and now Nina was telling him she reached out to him? “Wh -- what? You called him?” Nick repeated, trying to wrap his mind around it. “Why? I just -- I don’t get it... We were doing fine without him, weren’t we? I was doing just fine,” he continued, completely ignoring Nina who asked him whether he still loved her.

Nick softly placed a kiss on Nina’s head, as she told her why she thought it was important she made the cake herself. “Jamie’s really lucky to have an amazing superwoman like you as a mom,” he then said, trying to comfort her. He didn’t feel like he was sugarcoating anything though. Nina really was Jamie’s whole world. There was no use in trying to compete with her on the title of best parent. “Okay, if you say so, then I’ll just go back to my chair and admire you from a distance,” Nick replied jokingly. Before he got the chance to turn around, Nina told him she needed to tell him something. “You’re quite known for doing that, yeah. Though I thought it was more something you used to do in high school.” He frowned, not sure what to expect. “What’s going on?”