Ashlie♡

I want this on my blog because I think it is important. If you have any problems with this, message me.

Or just fuck off

Why does no one recognize the KKK as an actual terrorist group??? As an actual WHITE and CHRISTIAN and AMERICAN terrorist group?? Is it because they’re white? Is it because they’re Christian? Is it because they’re American? Or is it all three? Hm……….Guess we’ll never know………………

Keep reblogging this please I’m getting so much hate from racists it’s hilarious

50% sexually frustrated 50% sleepy

haha if youre bored you could kiss me idk just sayin

Big Sean played this song last night and I died

-is sending me on a roadtrip to the National Radio Quiet Zone for fun and education

-showed up to a family outing downtown this morning, wearing nylon shorts and expensive leather Oxford formal shoes -cried himself to sleep as a child because he desperately wanted a pet alligator -has experimented with god knows how many psychoactive substances…. For Science -is a literal masochist, as discovered this afternoon, when he told me all about how he’s addicted to the “excruciating pain and unexpected pleasure” of physical therapy -has feet so long he has to get shoes custom made for him - they have, in the past, been mistaken for clown shoes -once took his girlfriend on a date to lick the St. Louis Arch, in winter, and later revealed that he only framed it as a date ‘cause he was afraid of going alone in case his tongue got stuck to the metal -told me that he loved how bananas made his whole throat feel tingly, was surprised to find out that bananas are not supposed to have this effect -was disappointed that I did not bring a book on demon conjugation to the family reunion, because he wanted to compare it to his own translation -got banned from going down a slide today because he was dripping wet and had clearly been swimming…. he was just really sweaty from climbing the stairs

-sent me a check but forgot my legal name and put my nickname on it instead (it can’t be deposited and he hasn’t sent another)

He showed up to our Christmas Eve dinner wearing a dress shirt, fancy slacks, and flip flops. All he ate was a bowl of smoked oysters.

may your ass get fatter and your heart get wiser in 2017

May your wallet get thicker and soul become heavy in 2017

may your skin get clearer and your love reciprocated in 2017

Reblog for this to come true

My kink is being a Texan and saying Happy Holidays to Christian white people and having them passive aggressively reply Merry Christmas to me, knowing that they will go home and write a lengthy Facebook dissertation about the war on Christianity that I’ve begun to wage in my humble Jamba Juice. That really gets me going

Y'all think this is a joke, but if you say Happy Holidays to anyone in Texas they get super mad and will immediately reply with "it's Merry Christmas"

christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”

“a career” “financial security” “a sex life” “tuition for grad school” “alcohol” “a nap” “socks would be nice”

alright but what if every single one of the harry potter main characters eventually have a kid that they name “Fred” without knowing anyone else also did this (so now there’s fred potter, fred weasley, fred longbottom, etc) except they’re friends so all their kids are friends and as soon as one of them gets in trouble someone’s yelling “FRED” and 3-6 kids are turning around going “WHAT DID I DO” and I think that’s exactly the kind of chaotic legacy Fred would’ve liked to leave