It's Just A Life Full Of Stuff...

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

eating disorders and abortions are two things that are like, spoken about in most mainstream discourse as though they are pretty rare and aberrant, but then when you’re actually friends with a lot of women you come to find out that they are extremely extremely common and kind of banal & mundane

You really never know what random niche knowledge you have will come in handy at trivia night. You really don’t.

being asked what i want for my birthday and suddenly I'm a minimalist who has never had a material want in my whole life

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

I have controversial takes in my drafts the like of which even I don't agree with

in less than three years we will have adults born in the 2000’s 

the funny thing about this is that both people born in the 2000s are reblogging this freaking out because they arent ready to be adults and people who were born before the 2000s are freaking out about how they feel old and that it cant be happening because all people born in the 2000s are like 4

in less than two years we will have adults born in the 2010’s 

Imagine if someone told you that the premise for a D&D live show was that a 7-year-old tried to steal the pirate king’s wig and failed, dramatically survived his execution for treason (for trying to steal the wig), then recruited his adoptive family into helping him overthrow the pirate king so that he could rule pirate island instead.