i really dont know anymore.

And somehow I realized that there's nothing I want anymore. Nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I realized I'm dead.

—idk when will parents understand that the shit they say affect us the most. more than any critical comment by a best friend.

I‘ll Never understand how my mum could see me come out of my room one time everyday for months straight with tears and constant sadness written all over my face, never eating not enjoying the things I loved, never taking showers, sleeping all day long and barley making ist through the day and still yell about me not cleaning something of theirs. It‘s funny how they Never cared and Never asked if I was okay or how I was doing.

I don't know how to stop my younger self from crying when all I want is a hug from my mom but mom is my trauma...

Most people would think I want to cry, when in reality I want to drive to the middle of fucking nowhere and scream as loud as I fucking can from the deepest part of my fucking dead lungs and aging heart for 10 mins straight.

There's something really heartbreaking about looking at old pictures and seeing the slow progression of losing yourself. Watching the light fade from your eyes, and realizing you've fuckn lost yourself and you have no clue who you are right this moment. And you're only losing yourself more with every passing day.

i’m the problem. i’m draining to be around. i turn everything good into something toxic. i can’t stop myself from ruining everything, no matter how hard i try. i’m the only one to blame. i’m poison to everyone around me, i destroy everything i touch