The most important thing is me and you and our future. Nothing else matters. No one else's opinion or journey matters to mine.

Today I read almost 80 pages of a new book. I haven't read a book in years. Taking a new book in my hands, going through words and pages it's something I have been missing.

Maybe to write down my thoughts will help the healing. But it has been just one day since I came home from the hospital, and it just takes time.

Some days I wake up alone and it's hard to find the energy to wake up. When I finally do it, it's hard to find a place where I feel good with myself. I know I should be happy, I know I have nothing to complain about, but I still don't feel good with myself. On the couch with a cup of coffee and some chocolate cookies, I may find my peace.

We got engaged???!!!!

Hjemlengsel

K. found out I have this blog, and wanted to read it. I said no. He was okay with it. I need this space to write freely when I do not want to talk with anyone but him. K. is away for three days on a job trip and I am here with the cat. I cried all morning because every time he goes away I feel like the house is empty. But now it is okay. It is such an irrational fear of being left, but I know he is coming back. And it is only three days. I have been away much longer than that and nothing happened to our relationship. The point is that I still feel like I’m replaceable, even if he never said or even thought of me like that.