i suggest forcedeviæsis

I am nearly 29, knew I was trans since 17 and I have been on HRT (estrogen) on and off for the past 18 months with testosterone for the last 6. Currently: 8mg Estradiol Enanthate weekly, plus 25mg testosterone weekly.

The hypothesis: The body auto-converts excess T→E and excess E→T, so it can handle high levels of both without much trouble. Women regularly take testosterone during menopause — this should be doable.

My theory: Take high E to block natural T production, then supplement a tiny bit of T to compensate. Should keep everything contextually balanced.

Six months in, and I just got my labs back. My doctor (not amused by this experiment) is shocked: I'm healthier than I've ever been across every metabolic marker. Dead center on every single metric. Blood pressure normal (first time ever). Weight stable. I have some breast growth starting, but no solidified nodules — so with raloxifene I could revert 90%+ if I wanted (TBD). They are very sensitive, for better or worse.

I have noticed my body becoming more feminine (appreciated), which is saying something since I am naturally broad and muscular. Think of a very masc blacksmith-NPC-character-model kind of build. I have curves now. Skin is overall softer. Body hair is much thinner (previously was bold, black, and gnarly). Face is smoother, jawline more defined, but the face itself is a bit rounder, especially in the cheeks.

Mental state is solid. Making real progress on projects, feeling hopeful, taking more risks and actually being comfortable with it. More open, more outgoing. Before this was quite depressed, anxious, paranoid, unable to make decisions, and just felt worthless, now its the exact opposite - I have tried every anti-depressant around, and had great luck with LSD, but this has been by far the most 'calm', happy, and level-headed I have ever been. That said, on pure estrogen, my mental clarity is certainly sharper. The combo is still clear enough though.

I am writing this here because the tumblr reply system is purposefully built for extremely short-form communication and this is a longer answer.

This is a mixed answer, all people have different hangups, some are around natural arguments, some are perversions of inclusivity philosophy, some are residual myopic views on gender, and some are just plain worried about what it means for them, or the time sunk cost falacy that maybe they went down the wrong path. I don't have anything against these people, many of them are very dear friends that I would give my life for, but this is the way I read it and have noticed in discussions (and analyzing my own gender woes and hangups). This is a bit longer, so stay tuned after the break:

I am nearly 29, knew I was trans since 17 and I have been on HRT (estrogen) on and off for the past 18 months with testosterone for the last 6. Currently: 8mg Estradiol Enanthate weekly, plus 25mg testosterone weekly.

The hypothesis: The body auto-converts excess T→E and excess E→T, so it can handle high levels of both without much trouble. Women regularly take testosterone during menopause — this should be doable.

My theory: Take high E to block natural T production, then supplement a tiny bit of T to compensate. Should keep everything contextually balanced.

Six months in, and I just got my labs back. My doctor (not amused by this experiment) is shocked: I'm healthier than I've ever been across every metabolic marker. Dead center on every single metric. Blood pressure normal (first time ever). Weight stable. I have some breast growth starting, but no solidified nodules — so with raloxifene I could revert 90%+ if I wanted (TBD). They are very sensitive, for better or worse.

I have noticed my body becoming more feminine (appreciated), which is saying something since I am naturally broad and muscular. Think of a very masc blacksmith-NPC-character-model kind of build. I have curves now. Skin is overall softer. Body hair is much thinner (previously was bold, black, and gnarly). Face is smoother, jawline more defined, but the face itself is a bit rounder, especially in the cheeks.

Mental state is solid. Making real progress on projects, feeling hopeful, taking more risks and actually being comfortable with it. More open, more outgoing. Before this was quite depressed, anxious, paranoid, unable to make decisions, and just felt worthless, now its the exact opposite - I have tried every anti-depressant around, and had great luck with LSD, but this has been by far the most 'calm', happy, and level-headed I have ever been. That said, on pure estrogen, my mental clarity is certainly sharper. The combo is still clear enough though.

Coming to terms with the fact I might just not be into receiving genital (or anal) stimulation at all the way things stand atm

I can get off from just the light pressure of a strap against my mons pubis and the visual-sound experience of using the strap and. Idk I actually feel like my whole body is involved for once and it just feels. Scary, and vulnerable, but so fucking healing.

Now I've had a taste of it, going back is just fucking tedious.

Idk if it's a medication I'm taking or a sensory issue thing or gender dyphoria thing. Probably a combination of all three if I'm honest. Even self-stimulation feels somewhat unpleasant atm but using a strap is just. Way, way better

I'd hope once I get bottom growth the situation might change but I also just wanna take a moment to remind myself, and others, that it's okay to not enjoy genital stimulation! Or have a complicated relationship with it! Or just prefer other things!

You're not broken. It doesn't make you a worse lover.

It's okay to just wanna fuck hole goddamnit. It's okay to be stone (regardless of gender) grrrrrr

(also luv ur blog btw keep doing what ur doing)

absolutely!!! stones are the foundation of the community and for every one the haters throw at us is another one we get to keep to ourselves and add to our growing rock collection

thinking a lot about how being stone is such an important part of my sexuality and how unaccepted being stone (as a top or a bottom) is in wider society. like having rigid boundaries for how you let others engage with your body and how you engage with others is seen as something wrong

i feel a lot of validation and affirmation when talking to other people who are stone, but there is so much negative rhetoric about it that sometimes it feels hard to push past

not everyone is gonna enjoy having sex with a pillow princess/stone bottom and i understand that (and i also don't want to have sex with someone like that), but it's less about people desiring me/people like me and more about people just... being kind about it yk?

so much of it is seen as selfish and there are a lot of negative connotations people have about pillow princesses and i see it being used as an insult a lot and it's very hard for me to feel comfortable in my sexuality with folks who aren't stone and to not feel like people are looking down at me

i have enjoyed sex with people who aren't stone before, but there is a lot of lingering doubt and insecurity about it for me

i feel proud of myself for knowing my boundaries and not putting myself in situations i don't want to be in. i'm very glad i've stopped comptopping for people anymore and focus more on compatibility over forcing myself in to being compatible for people. definitely an ongoing journey of acceptance though especially with outside responses to it

i definitely think it helps to have relationships that affirm your stone sexuality. it can be a really powerful and validating experience to find that safety and acceptance and desire for you and your sexuality

i think that's been a hard part of it for me personally because the external affirmation i get doesn't... necessarily outweigh the external derogatory shit i see? it's not a constant in my life and i think i'd be able to feel more confident in it if it was

it's hard because......... i don't want my self worth to be dependent on a relationship with another person. but i also do want to have that trust and affirmation in the form of other relationships with people. it's hard to figure out what that balance should be between letting yourself be loved and having a need to be loved/a need for affirming relationships vs your self worth being completely contingent on other people's relationships to you

i definitely think affirmation is very important for anyone, i just personally get worried about relying on it too much. but we're human. we should all rely on each other and community care is a big facet of my life, but i think i struggle more with the idea of dependency when it comes to romance and sexuality

Border Credits

Slugcat Radio

Also made with

☘︎ an altersex identity for individuals who desire both a penis and a vulva.

from Greek “syn-“ meaning “together“ and sex.

color & symbol representation:

☘︎ pink represents female or female-aligned, or feminine or feminine-aligned individuals who are synsex. ☘︎ blue represents male or male-aligned, or masculine or masculine-aligned individuals who are synsex. ☘︎ green represents agender, gendernull, genderless, or otherwise ungendered individuals; as well exo-binary individuals, who are synsex. ☘︎ yellow represents gendered and gender-independent non-binary individuals who are synsex. ☘︎ white represents the freedom to modify one’s sex to one’s liking. ☘︎ the blend of colors represents the bimodal, not binary, nature of sex. ☘︎ the cardinal symbol is in homage to gynandromorphic cardinals who are phenotypically half-male and half-female.

Dolls-sex

Huànguān (宦官) 

[pt: Huànguān (宦官). end pt.]

a chinese term meaning a eunuch.

tag-list: @radiomogai, @imoga-pride, @daybreakthing, @discrophy, @themogaidragon, @rwuffles, @charlie-lottie, @cultural-and-bipoc-terms-archive, @cultural-mogai, @asianmogai.

free to use. no credit needed, but it would be appreciated

We should not be restricting peoples identities and different angles of transition just because cis people would take it in bad faith.

No a trans woman is not defined by being a woman with a penis and vice versa (trans men aren’t defined by being men with vaginas) but some people experience a desire to transition in unconventional ways to affirm their gender.

This is a frequent problem I witness within the queer community at large. You guys tend to apply one definition or experience to every single person within a label, and assert that one person’s experiences invalidate everyone else.

Selection of original-run Doc and Raider comic strips (1987–1997).