ISAAC

Well, I’d love to know I’m doing some good wifely duties by taking care of you after six shots. Hopefully your actions aren’t that bad once you hit seven or so, because between the both of us, I’m not sure if I could take care of both. You can most definitely just move in, you can sleep on the bed and I’ll take the couch. Don’t worry about cock-blocking, if anything it wouldn’t be at my place.

This relationship is going to be toxic, you know that right? Neither of us are going to be able to stop. I’ll be on the floor vomiting or something, and you’ll be on the verge of it but because we both wanna be the better drinkers we’ll keep going until one of us passes out.. In the vomit. I’m totally not talking from experience. 

“Not at all.  The better friends with them you are, the more likely you are to get free drinks from them.”  Addison pointed out. 

Well that’s what I’m waiting for! I’ve got nothing free as of yet.. The only perk is if he catches me vomiting or anything I don’t get kicked out. Oh, and if anyone wants to start shit with me he kicks them out.. I’m not tough enough to beat anyone up. 

so then more than the occasional drink? wine? really? wow. that’s correct, sir. i was that child that was stuck in the house working on school or either taking pictures for a photography scholarship. nope, my parents, had other matters. maybe it is, only time will tell.

Wine drunk is the type of drunk that I try to avoid - crying, sad, all that. I usually end up singing Adele in the shower after a night on wine. Oh, you were that kid. Did you enjoy it, at least? Or do you have this secret hidden desire to break all the rules and get so drunk you pass out in a park? Because I can totally respect you if you hate the idea of drinking, but if you wanna try it I’m more than happy to be of assistance. It was so a challenge. Bring it, bitch.

Try to be fun after six, I wouldn’t mind looking after you of course, but I also don’t wanna be bored on my own. Very impressive, thank you. Stay as long as you please.

Aw, see, this is what a good marriage is. Taking care of the other one when the tequila sneaks up on them. I promise I won’t pass out, but thats about it. I take absolutely no responsibility for my actions after six. Oh, I might just move in then. You won’t mind a drunk dude passing out on your couch every night, right? I promise not to cock-block. Oh, and I’ll be quiet when I vomit.

since you don’t like to discriminate, do you drink anything else besides beer? ah, we will just say that’s your favorite. i’m twenty. i am absolutely horrible at jenga, you have no idea. drunk, yeah, i’d like to see that.

I drink absolutely anything that’ll get me drunk. Although I try to avoid wine, that shit gets me on another level.. So you’re twenty and you’ve never had a sip of alcohol? Ever? What about at a house party or something? Did your mum or dad ever give you a sip of their wine or something? Hold on a minute.. Was that a challenge?

do you have a favorite beer? um, no. haven’t had a sip of alcohol in my life. do you ever play connect 4 drunk?

I don’t like to discriminate - a beer is a beer. Although they have a pretty good one on tap down at the bar. Wait, what? How old are you?! All the time. But nothing beats Jenga. I am the king of Jenga. Drunk or sober, I’ve never lost a game. 

“that’s your opinion, but personally i don’t think so. so, i’m guessing you drink a lot? it’s not bad if you do.

I do enjoy the occasional beverage. Beer, usually. Are you a drinker? Oh -- me and my mate down at the pub enjoy other activities too. Sometimes we play connect 4 or talk about the weather. 

“It’s a win win really” jake said with a smile. Jake didn’t have a like 9-5 job because he was a professional fighter so it’s a different type of job I guess. “Well I’m in the professions fighter scene so it’s not a normal 9-5 job but I still get paid so it’s good” he said.

“Exactly, I think you should just go drop your CV in and see how it goes. What’s the worst that could happen.” Jake said with a smile. “Nice to meet you Isaac, I’m Jacob but most people just call me Jake.” 

Well, Jake. I don’t see what could go wrong. I mean, if they say no I just keep drinking there. And if they say yes, I work there for a coupla’ hours and drink there when I’m not working. And so the circle of habitual drinking continues. What do you do for work?

Jake smiled at the other. “trust me if they think you will both make them money and also spend money there, they will most likely hire you.” He said. 

That’s what I’m going for. I mean, it’s only fair that they give me back some of what I gave them. It’ll never amount to the same but at least it might come close? I’m getting over my life of ramen and beer, man. I’m Isaac, by the way.

“Isn’t that how it should be” Jake said with a smile. “Don’t worry the mates rates will come” 

Well, yeah. I aim to be on a first name basis with the guy I probably spend the most amount of time with.. The only downside is that I’m spending my last few dollars on his booze and I really can’t afford it. I plan on handing in a resume there, although I doubt he’ll hire the dude who sits in the back corner nearly passing out over his beer. 

I can’t believe you seriously just went all bill nye on me. Blaming “the shadows” is so cryptic of you. I was never a science nerd, all I can remember is mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

Just wait til’ I whip out the bow tie. Yeah, science wasn’t my thing either. All I remember is a bunsen burner. My mates and I got suspended for bringing in marshmallows and roasting them, but how could ya not? Perfect crispy outside, soft gooey inside - every time.

Well, that vow must certainly never be broken. You’re heading towards nine, maybe ten shots there sir. That’s fine, we can come back to my apartment. I have alcohol, gummy bears, and a mattress that’s not on the floor.

Ten shots should be fine, I guess.. I can’t make any promises with how fun I’ll be after six? It should be okay. Yeah.. Totally. Wow. Look at you, la-de-dah. A mattress that’s not on the floor? That’s impressive. 

Isn’t that only more of a challenge for you then, to drink more than me? Alright, the wedding is at the bar where they more a little more vodka. The reception can just be at one of our places, were we can get hammered and no one can judge us.

Okay, vow number one - I’m never going to stop trying to drink more than you. Sweet, sounds good to me. I’d offer my place but I currently have a mattress on the floor and a couch I found on Craig’s List for $12.50. I promise I’ll be able to provide more for you after I find a job.. eventually.. 

Eight, still standing, no vomiting, and probably a ninth if I’m feeling a little frisky. Hello Issac, I’m Graysen, your future wife to be. And we can get married this weekend, I’m free.

I feel like I should feel threatened by the fact that you can drink more than me. But it’s strangely making me proud. Cool, the weekend works well. We can have the wedding in the bar down the road. They do cheap drinks there, plus I’m mates with the guy so he pours a little extra vodka in for me. You choose the reception location.