Tabby: I'm selling ME, duh. Not literally -- just because I'm a stripper doesn't mean I'm for sale -- but it's just the whole Tabby Expurrience, like, the feel of being around me and knowing me. I have had a few offers, yes, primarily from werewolves, but that's exactly the problem. Ever since the whole Wolfgang fiasco, which I'm sure you've heard about since everyone and their mom has, it's like nobody takes me seriously anymore. People are either disgusted at me for engaging in cross-breed-were-sex (which, by the way, is so not fair because it's not like I wanted to and it's not like Wolfgang is getting nearly as much flack as I am because the world is sexist) or they're gross werewolves who are just throwing me a bone because they want to do the do! Its humiliating and offensive and so not representative of the bad bitch that I am, and so going with a werewolf is out of the question. I was thinking about people in this school who are pretty widely respected and your name came up, and I think we could help each other out here. If we went together, maybe people would remember that I'm not just some knotting punch line, and maybe, just maybe, it'd make people realize that the stick up your ass isn't as high up there as everyone thinks! Besides, I want to be The Corpse Bride and you'd be a pretty cute Victor Van Dort. And you'd get to wear a suit!
Tabby: Plus, I just word-vommed onto you from my heart. And turning me away would just be ungentlemanly of you, especially because I never word-vom in front of people.
Isaac:…Woah. I didn’t know things had gotten that bad for you all over just one full moon related incident. I’m very sorry to hear that, and you’re very correct. Despite your apparent belief that I “have a stick up my ass”, it would be Very ungentlemanly of me to turn you away in your time of need. I’d be honored to be the Victor Van Dort to your Emily.
