following's not really my style

<TONY TO STEPHEN>

“Doc, I need some bandages,” Tony said, barging into the medical bay. “Also, why can’t you just open a portal and send us home? You never did answer me.”

Holding up an arm that was covered in tribble bites, he squinted at the blood. “I probably need some antiseptic too. Don’t ask what happened, ok? It was an accident. Totally an accident.”

Striding over to the sink, he stuck his arm under the tap, and hissed.

“is it just me or is the ship suddenly a lot less roomier?“ jack asked to no-one in particular as he stood in the center of the canteen. “no matter where we are and what we’re doing, what we’re eating or what - there’s one of those tribble things.” he stated, reaching for his tray of food and then making a face when the aforementioned creature made a noise at him. “ugh, someone call the doctor!” he yelled as he gingerly picked up the creature with his index finger and thumb and stared at it.

“Astute,” Sherlock said dryly, in a tone that suggested that the observation was anything but. Poking at one of the tribbles with his shoe, he stared dispassionately at it as it did... absolutely nothing. 

“I hardly think that finding one of them on your plate is grounds for seeking medical attention,” he said, although the response was more on autopilot as he studied the man before him. He doubted that the man was actually calling for a doctor -- it seemed that he was looking for a specific individual, but more importantly, there was ... it was surprisingly difficult for Sherlock to deduce him. Spy? Soldier? There was definitely some military bearing there, which seemed at odds with his demeanour. Special forces, perhaps. Or some independent unit.

“What?” he said, realising that he hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation. If there even had been conversation. Words from other people just tended to sail by his head; it was remarkable how that happened. 

“malaka!“ kassandra spat as she placed her hands upon her hips. she did not have her weapons, her spear, and she was about to make someone pay very dearly for it. when she had agreed to be a part of this program she was under the basic understanding that she would be continuing her mission to end the cult of kosmos. not… this. “you!” she spat, turning onto the next person that happened to be in her way. in one swift movement, she had them backed against the wall and her elbow at their throat. “what is this? who are you? tell me where my spear is!”

<TEN!>

The Doctor had been minding his own business. Really! Honestly! 

Okay, so maybe he’d been snooping around, poking at the cryosleep rooms -- but he really hadn’t expected to come across a newly awakened passenger, let alone one who was furious and disoriented.

The next thing he knew, he was up against the wall, an elbow a hair’s width shy of rendering him quite literally speechless. “This -- this is a tribble, say hello, it’s very augh! Wait, was that Greek? Are you Greek? Ancient Greek too -- by the looks of it. And just for the record, whether I masturbate or not is entirely my own business, thank you very much.”

      yaz had the nerve to roll her eyes when the stranger kept up his witch hunt. a fitting term, she found, considering he didn’t know what the creature was. however, when the creature zoomed past and he shouted to catch it, yaz’s instincts kicked in. the young woman reached out to catch the alien before it ran away - successful. about that time, the announcement from whitelaw came on overhead. tribbles, relatively harmless, and an award to catch them all. her competitiveness sparked. “oops,” she said with a guilty smile in the man’s direction, before stubbornly insisting, “don’ say it.” i told you so. “let’s just find somethin’ to trap them in. we need some sort of cage? what could we use for bait, y’think?” 

Tony swore under his breath when the creature got away, before perking up at the announcement. “Hey, I thought they said they’re slow moving -- that one didn’t look slow. At all.”

He shot the other passenger a smirk when she said ‘don’t say it’, before decided to be nice. “I think we could try a box or something. Poke a couple of holes in it... Not sure about bait, but we could probably try ...” he rustled up a spare packet of dried blueberries. “This is all I have on me. What about you?”

barbara offered a nod in agreement, and while she wasn’t a stranger to the concept of monsters – literal and figurative – she suspected he wasn’t from where she was. “probably not monsters, well, unless they’re some sort of gremlin.” she started, offering a small grin. “where i’m from, we have a story about some very adorable fluffy creatures that lure you in with cuteness, but if you feed them after midnight, they turn into pretty ravenous little beasts.”

maybe she should have clarified it was a fictional movie, but it never hurt anyone to have some extra motivation. she paused to think over his question. “from what i know of this captain? he’ll probably drop them on someone on some planet and make it their problem.”

“A grelim?” Geralt asked, tilting his head at the unfamiliar name. “Ahh... interesting. My world has cursed creatures, but nothing quite like that. Do they eat humans?”

He studied the fur ball a little more. “I certainly hope these things don’t turn into ravenous beasts -- since they seem to be eating everything.”

Geralt wasn’t opposed to the idea of dropping them off somewhere, so he settled for a neutral shrug. “I suppose if they have an entire ... planet ... to wander around on, their rapid rate of multiplication shouldn’t be an issue.” Tossing the creature into the designated room, he turned back to look at Barbara. “But tell me more about yourself. You carry yourself like a fighter.” 

<FROM TEN TO YOUR CHOICE!>

“No... that’s not it...” the Doctor groaned in frustration, knocking angrily on the large (hastily constructed) box that he’d hooked up his stethoscope to. “Times like these, I miss the TARDIS’ universal translation device - I know plenty of languages, but these little critters, they’re just jabbering on far too quickly and quietly for me to catch anything... here, hold this, will you?”

He shoved the box at the nearest person who’d walked up, completely forgetting to mention that it weighed fifty pounds. “And be careful with it, it’s a very delicate translation device!”

<SHERLOCK!>

Interesting. The creatures responded to music - in particular, tunes in a B flat minor scale, preferably with a steady 3/4 time signature. 

Sherlock had liberated (stolen) a violin, and was presently observing the creatures as he played. Four out of five seemed to follow him, pied piper style, and he carefully stepped around the last one as he led them down the corridor in a merry dance towards the vacuum chamber. 

“Stop breathing,” he said, to the person who was making their presence known. “You’re disrupting the air currents.”

“whoa soldier, calm down - “ jack grinned as he slid into the labs, watching the very attractive man start to rage out over the seemingly harmless but pesky critters roam over and eat everything. well, eat plants - he guessed.

“have you tried the vacuum chamber?“ he asked, pointing over towards what he assumed to be a sealed-tight place. “it’s worth a try and i’ll help you, but first on to important things; i’m captain jack harkness, who are you, handsome?“

“Not a soldier,” Geralt grunted. “More like a mercenary, only the only thing I specialise in is monsters.” 

Completely misinterpreting Jack’s words, he muttered a good idea before marching over to where someone had stored the vacuum cleaner. Holding it up, he stared at the device. “Can’t say I’ve used it before, but I hear it gets rid of dirt.”

Smirking at Jack, he gave him a shrug. “So ... you’re a soldier eh? They call me the Butcher of Blaviken.” 

<TEN to CLARA!>

“You know, I think they’re in the air vents -- if you listen carefully, you can hear the shuffling.” The Doctor had stopped dead in the center of the corridor, sonic screwdriver pointed at the ceiling, not particularly caring if he was in anyone’s way.

“I have a brilliant idea,” he said, spinning around when he heard someone approaching. “If I can just get to the controls, I can switch the fans up to maximum, and blow them right out of those vents.”

He paused. “Provided they don’t get sucked into the fans. Ugh.”

“Whoa blast from the past much.” Shes says excitedly. “I don’t know what they are but I know what a TARDIS is because I have one. Well it’s mine now but it used to be yours. I like my decorations better.” She picks up one of the furry creatures. “So cute.”

“Blast from the past? Wait - wait wait wait, don’t tell me anything about my future. This is incredibly important. It’s-- wait, you have a TARDIS? Used to be mine? Wait, you are me.” 

He stared for a good, long moment. “Blimey, that’s brilliant! I love it, it’s better than being ginger. I always thought it was high time I stopped regenerating as a bloke.”

The future Doctor’s attention to the creatures reminded him of the one that he was carrying. “Yes, funny things -- I can’t say I know what they are. They don’t seem dangerous, at least. Do you have any idea how they got here?”

“Cursed things,” Geralt muttered. They were everywhere, crawling through the gardens and trying to eat everything. “You know, I used to hunt monsters for gold,” he hissed at one of the creatures, before lifting it off a pot and looking around for a place to put it down.

“Hey,” he called out, hearing the door to the greenhouse open. “Could you help me find a place for one of these things? Because if they eat one more of my plants, I might actually fly into a murderous rage.”

stephen just… stared at the man before him, his lips slightly parted in perplexity before pursing them together in a frown as the other moved in closer to get a better look. “more… advanced?” stephen asked, his voice drawing out the words as he raised a brow. “i’m in my forties, i’m not advanced.” he retorted, attempting to defend himself.

he couldn’t deny the similarities between them - nor the fact that the other man was younger looking. hell looked more like him when he was in college during his masters and phd run. “i am very much human though i have been enhanced due to the use of magic, now who are you?” he asked getting a bit more prickly around the edges when the other asked - or made assumptions - about his hands. 

“injury, i don’t partake in drug use, i’m a doctor - was, i performed neurosurgery and was the best in my field.“ he gripped his hands into balls at his sides before attempting to cover them as he crossed his arms over his chest. “i ask again, who are you?“

“Older, obviously,” Sherlock replied, the dismissiveness in his voice clear. He gave the other man a quick smile. “Aging is a natural process, no need to be defensive about it.”

Magic. Sherlock groaned out loud at the word. “I suppose your get up suggests that you do believe in it. Tell me, which century are you from? Though your accent would place you ..” he narrowed his eyes. “21st century, New York -- though you weren’t born there. Clearly, you must be part of a cult. I suppose you lost your ability to work and fell into bad company.

He sighed, impatient at the questions. “The name is Sherlock Holmes. I’m a consulting detective. And yes, I’m younger than you, and the similarities are striking. Now, tell me more about this magic of yours.”

“when they say these things are everywhere, they really mean they’re just everywhere.” barbara moved down the halls, her arms full of the small balls of living fluff that seemed to have taken over the ship. they were cute and all, and fairly, she was half tempted to keep on – but they kept getting into the computer wiring systems and she couldn’t have that. “want to help me gather these little guys up? we can make it a game, or competition.”

“I was starting to wonder if we’d been hit by a plague,” Geralt muttered, staring at the little creatures. Giving her a brief smile, he helped to corral a few. “They’re pretty easy to catch, at least. Usually my job involves getting rid of things more permanently, but these don’t seem like monsters.”

He hefted one, trying to figure out if it even had eyes. “Question is, what do you think the Captain’s going to do with them?”

andy loved animals. so that’s how he’d ended up in this situation – it’d started as him sitting down on the floor to pet these little fluffy guys, but eventually more of them showed up and now he was laying down, with a group of them all on top of him. “huh? i-i didn’t see anything,” andy laughs, feeling as if he’s being tickled thanks to one of the things on him. “i’m too busy here. i swear dude, i had like ten of ‘em on me at once. so cool. do you know what these are? do they have names? i’m gonna name ‘em.” he said, and then began doing just that. “so you’re gerry, you’re tom ‘cause you look kinda stylish, you’re ron ‘cause i think you’re grumpy…” he trailed off.

“Oh, I definitely saw something,” Tony said, then glanced over. “Wait, you have a bunch of them? Are we being invaded?” He shrugged, shaking his head. “No idea. I’d call them furbies, but they’re far less creepy-- oh, you mean individual names.”

Watching the guy name them with some bemusement, it took a minute before it struck him. “Wait, you’re from Earth, aren’t you?” He held out his hand. “I’m Tony. 21st century, thereabouts.”

“please say it was a labradoodle,“ shawn poked his head up from where he was sitting and looked over at the older man. “i could really use some sweet labradoodle kisses right about now.” he chimed, swinging his leg over the other and relaxing back into his chair. 

but the man’s alarmed curiosity made shawn curios as he sat up and started to look around their surroundings. “maybe its a freaky alien hybrid of a rat and a labradoodle - like something out of star wars. ooh! or maybe it’s none of the above and we’re in a simulation. wow, galaxy brain idea right there.” he blinked when he heard rustling above them. “do you, good sir, perchance have a broom?”

“Doesn’t look like a lab or a poodle to me,” Tony said, making a grab for the furry creature and missing. “But I think I can figure out how to get this vent open...” he paused as the other guy went off into a ramble. “Next, you’re going to tell me that we’re in the Matrix. As long as you don’t call it a ‘really old movie’, I think we’re good.”

He gestured vaguely at his definitely broomless state. “Do I look like I have a broom to you? I do, however, have a screwdriver. Come on, hold onto this grate while I get it open, will you?”

That caught Castiel’s interest, and his brow furrowed in thought. He didn’t know what a Time Lord was, but the man wasn’t human, he could sense as much, so he believed him. It seemed they were in similar situations. At first, he had put the anomaly down to Chuck, something to get him out of the way while he continued to toy with Sam and Dean, but now that didn’t seem quite so likely, not if there were others. “I have no previous experience with cryosleep, but I would assume it wouldn’t work on angels, either. We usually don’t sleep at all,” he thought aloud. “Did you board the ship willingly?”

“Wait-- did you say angels?” the Doctor said, squinting at Castiel. “You don’t look...” he muttered to himself, “Definitely not a Weeping Angel, thank goodness for that, we don’t need any more of those around here.”

Patting himself down, he located his sonic screwdriver in his jacket pocket. Ha. Good old bigger on the inside technology. Giving the bloke a quick scan, he stared in surprise as the readings starting leaping right off the map. “Can’t say I’ve seen one of you before. Where did you come from? Which planet?”

Waving a hand at the question, he made a bit of a face. “Can’t say I remember boarding the ship. I remember volunteering for the program - probably a bit of a rushed decision, though I’m quite fuzzy on that.” He paused in the middle of a full speed ramble to add, “I’m the Doctor, by the way.”

“Do you think they understand you?” Zenon asked curiously as she looked over at the little balls. They certainly were cute, something she had never seen on her own space ship before. “What’s a TARDIS?” She asked him, looking back up after a few moments. She was excited when she got to this space ship because it was a chance for her to start over and she wanted to learn more about the universe.

“Well... my TARDIS translation system’s broken - otherwise they would.” The Doctor sighed in frustration as he stared at the little ball of fuzz, before turning his attention back to the next question. 

“Oh! It’s my ship. You wouldn’t happen to have seen a blue police telephone box around, would you? It’s important to me. But blimey, look at me, being all rude and talking about myself -- what’s your name? And whereabouts did you come from?”