A very late submission for the “Christmas” prompt, Part six of the “Plagg’s Gift/Nathan the Magician” series.
Somehow, someway, getting stuffed in a bag for her offences had not made Ladybug (or her team, it was a good thing Krampus’ sack didn’t respect physics!) any more amenable to letting her former sidekick roam the countryside in peace.
Nathan threw funny curses, Ladybug suffered some kind of public humiliation that went on the web until the authorities scrubbed it, and Nathan got to live as long as his skills with spells could outpace the growth of Ladybug and minion’s powers.
(Which, he might add, seemed to be almost entirely prompted by *him*. He was quite sure they’d been more or less stagnant before his return- the luxury of being able to cruise by on the Lucky Charm clearly wasn’t conductive to personal growth.)
Alas, luck was never going to last against one who might as well be called Lady Fortune.
One day the former Agreste heir made a misplay in cat form… and promptly got bagged again.
If Ladybug had thrown the bag in water again, or even just killed him outright, Nathan’s contingencies would have activated. He walked in dangerous circles after all, so he did actually have ways to escape from certain death if it came to it- albeit at a steep cost
(Magic was rarely *free* after all)
Alas, Ladybug seemed to have intuited this from the charm, and instead made a point to keep him alive and relatively well. Just in a cage.
Literally, she dumped him in a magically-resistant metal animal cage. A cage that was on an actual pedestal in the middle of the team’s headquarters, for all the team to gawk at.
Which they did. After gathering around to flip him off in a full group exercise.
Which they took a photo of.
“(You petty…)” Cat Noir pointedly turned around and raised his tail to them.
Bolted into the cage was a nametag which he’d seen in reflections to read “Chat Chiant”, and it was quite clear that in spite of other prizes of the team’s achievements hanging around the place, among the accolades of city-saving and villain-vanquishing *he* was the showpiece of the collection.
Nothing but dry cat food and water. No chance of escape under constant surveillance. No release from the cage, except for some closely surveilled vet visits where said vet was flabbergasted to discover the reason why he wasn’t eating much (namely that he’d not included genitals or a digestive track in his cats ever since Ladybug swore to neuter him,), and that his body was still surviving regardless (food was just directly converted to vitality, pretty darn efficient!).
Multiple escape attempts failed. Lockpicking was out after the declawing (Nathan determined then and there that he *would* break Ladybug’s hands for that). Trying to make runes or magic circles from blood failed outright (he had to try). Efforts to end this feline’s life himself were (almost) always foiled.
In the end it took choking on a hairball while the heroes were away, plus another six months for the stars to be right to regain his freedom.
(It turned out having your ‘soul’ permanently outside your body came with some benefits. At least if you were willing to learn from the stories of Koschei and knew a secure mountain cave in the alps where intricate carvings and other equipment could be easily hidden. *And* could do a half dozen other things to make sure your very vulnerable soul-encasing magic ring would *stay* hidden from even other supernatural and paranormal entities until you could reincorporate-
Anyway, the point was that for most of the year- the wily cat-themed magician was either Ladybug’s trophy or just flat out *dead*. Which Nathan did not appreciate even with his familiarity with the state.
Now, at first he actually elected to leave her and her team alone. After all, he’d been properly dead, so her team had no reason to pursue him. Instead he put aside his vexations (and desire to break Ladybug’s hands), and put his multi-linguisim to good use with international travel and exploration.
Dangerous, but fun. There was a wealth of experiences to be had outside France that he’d never really gotten a chance to experience, and other kinds of supernatural phenomenon that were entirely different from the sorts he’d become accustomed to.
(He even met the Genie of the Lamp! No wishes though, the poor fellow was well and truly done with that kind of thing- but they had a great afternoon swapping stories about Plagg!)
But- as per usual: a certain spotted brat couldn’t let him have his fun. One day while he was trying to slip into one of the higher realms in China- Ladydragon decided to wreck his day.
Which she easily succeeded in when she called in Ladybug, who promptly portalled in with her team. Who then successfully smashed the offering of sacred herbs he’d brought (ensuring he wouldn’t be getting to look around the nicer places in the Otherworld today) and nearly crushed him with an anvil Lucky Charm.
And like that, the war was on again.
He got away of course, but his life returned to constant movement and planning instead of exploration and indulging his curiosity. He battled and humiliated Ladybug, took a few of the lesser Miraculous and confused the Order when he dropped them off at the temple anyway. He even made a point to trap Ladybug in a lump of enchanted toffee for so she could get a taste of confinement, and took of picture of her failing to wriggle free like a bug on sticky paper for his collage!
(And he did indeed break her hands after forcing a numbing potion down her throat, since she had had the grace to have the declawing done under anaesthetic).
As hard as it was to believe, there was a limit to how much one could enjoy an endless struggle. Chat Noir had actually enjoyed the strange battles against the Akuma victims- at least to an extent. Adrien had found an escape in the wonders of the supernatural.
The Magician did both, but also had an axe to grind and a desire for freedom that gave him a spiteful edge that delighted in being sated.
But there was such a thing as too much of a good thing.
So it was that he arranged for an accord to be struck.
“Seriously, *Little Bug*.”
Traditionally treaties were struck on neutral ground, or the loser’s territory. Nathan didn’t really have either to work with, and not particularly wanting to see if enchanted molasses would hold Ladybug long enough to conduct business a second time had opted for the next best thing:
Namely the interior of Krampus’ sack.
Because no one ever *really* expects to get jumped by Krampus the day *before* Christmas eve. And Krampus was too wily and swift for Ladybug’s team to really catch him (at least for a few hours). So The Magician had conducted his ritual early, stepped into the bag willingly (to Krampus’ glee, apparently he’d been a bit naughty himself!), pulled out a thermos and floated in the dark-red velvet void until a spluttering Ladybug was forced in.
“Tea?” Nathan offered the filled thermos cap (enchanted to stay put in zero g!)
“Oh *tea*?” Ladybug put her hands on her hips, “are we having a *tea* party? Is this your idea of having friends over for *brunch*? Don’t know why I’m surprised, the only way you’d ever have friends to *have over* is if you fucking kidnap them!”
“Cute,” Nathan rolled his eyes and sipped the tea himself (just a simple french blend, Nathan had tasted enough expensive and cheap teas to know that most of the time the rich stuff was more about rarity than an innate superior options, which really applied to most things anyway). “Anyway-”
He caught the assaulting yo-yo with his off hand mere centimetres from his nose and pointedly *yoinked* the weapon from Ladybug’s hand. She growled in frustration as he left it floating next to him (and out of her reach) so he could grab the thermos again.
“You-” Ladybug spun towards him with the momentum, but twisted with it to try and belt him with her fist-
Only for Nathan to lift up his left leg and (lightly! This was *diplomacy* after all) booted her in the middle of her chest to send her back the way she came.
“Ooof!” She gasped, and tumbled a minute before whatever force existed within the bag gently slowed her motion and dragged her form back to within two metres of The Magician’s.
Alas, Ladybug never took well to helpless frustration. And between the supernatural-suppressing confines of Krampus’ sack stopping her from pulling any new tricks (no new magics, just what they came in with), and her old sidekick’s clear amusement at her failures, the fully grown adult woman reverted to the snide immaturity that had so often leaked through when she was younger (and usually more playful. Or just bratty. Either/or.)
“Oh look at meeeee,” Ladybug made a face and put on a childish voice, “I’m Adrien Agreste and I’m the biggest prick in Paris because nobody likes me anymore! Whaahh, I don’t have any friends because I’m a wimpy little bitch who sold out everyone who trusted me! I’m not good enough for a Miraculous so I use crappy third-rate magic to terrorize *real* heroes so I can feel like a real man!”
Nathan waited a moment, “… Do you feel better-”
“I have to pay off spirits a million times stronger than me because I’m to pathetic myself! Waahhh!” Ladybug interrupted him, “I have to run away like as a literal scardy cat every time and die anyway, wahhh-”
The Magician regarded his former friend with bemusement. Her petulant caricature *was* annoying, but her exaggerated expressions and movements were downright comical. So while she was rid-rant he let the thermos float again to quickly pull out his phone and snap a photo for his collection. Ladybug, being too busy having a strop, was none the wiser before he returned to his previous position.
“Let ME out!” She snarled, “let me out of this stupid BAG and fucking… fucking… BREXIT ON OUT OF MY LIFE!”
Well, if she was resorting to petty nationalistic barbs, she was probably running out of steam-
“Felix is a better Black Cat than you ever were.”
Ladybug stared at him, her words like ice. The Magician paused for a moment and the hand holding the thermos cap shook a little.
Ladybug’s keen eyes spotted the movement, and like a fencer seeing their opponent’s footwork fail she surged to press her advantage; “he’s stronger, faster, more disciplined and doesn’t just *die* every other fight.
Did you know he unlocked new powers within a month of getting Plagg? Do you what Black Storm is Adrien? How about Black Hole?
Of course you don’t, you just sat there and stagnated when *I* was working on being a good hero.” Her lip curled, “if he’d been Chat Noir from the start, Fu would never have lost his memories.”
Nathan closed his eyes to ignore her and focus.
Before any other elements were brought in, it was a matter of intent and focus.
One’s emotional state and mindset were just as vital the words, will and materials. That was especially important for him since be it because of trauma, or lack of an outlet, his own passions had once often been so strong that he’d *had* to master clarity of mind to avoid killing himself a hundred times over with even simple spells.
That discipline served him well now.
But it wasn’t just a matter of keeping a cool head to avoid letting Ladybug know she’d gotten to him. Logically, he could make a dozen rebuttals and get drawn into the petty back and forth.
She’d made countless mistakes as Ladybug that Chat Noir had overlooked and encouraged her to move on from that he could use to tear her emotional wounds open now. Miracle Queen, Volpina, The Collector and accepting Gabriel’s story long after it was obvious he could have had Mayura Akumatize him for an alibi, and far, far more.
He could easily point out that she’d had a Kwami and an actual mentor in Fu to train her, whereas he’d trained Plagg to use his own powers more than Plagg *or* Fu had ever trained him, and the best she ever did was decode potion recipes and make a few charms Shadowmoth broke within a month.
There was a smorgasbord of excuses and attacks he could make.
But *that wasn’t important*.
What was important, was that Ladybug just let slip the identity of her new Black Cat. The new Chat Noir- was his own cousin Felix. And that had *implications*-
“-But hey, you were *right* about one thing!” Ladybug smirked, and raised a hand as if to admire a ring, then clasped them together and took on a tone of faux-girlish infatuation. “The Ladybug and Black Cat holders *are* destined to be together… you just weren’t *him*.”
And like that the threads came together.
Clearly Ladybug expected that he knew who she was, or at least had grown so emotional that she’d forgotten her caution. But that particular secret had never been his, nor had he any new clues to it… until now.
Ladybug’s spite about him supposedly being a ‘bitch who sells out his friends’ was sharp and personal, he’d have expected her to mock his performance as Chat Noir *first*. But the comment was sharp and bitterly *personal*.
Felix being the black cat could be a lie, what better way to emotionally attack someone than to have them supposedly replaced by someone else who wore their face, but was ‘just better’ despite having bullied you? But the timelines lined up, Felix *had* come to Paris shortly before Gabriel was defeated, and the same Chat Noir that had replaced Adrien had been given the ring around that time and held it since.
The same logic applied for the last remark about romance, but whatever sharp feelings The Magician might have had were secondary to the fact that he *knew* that a certain girl who’d previously had no connection to Felix was still in his close circle. Despite it being years since she should have had any reason to even speak to him, or even have made a friendship in the first place in the brief time Felix had been in Paris.
It was all circumstantial, but between the remarks and the previous suspicions he’d once put aside after Kwamibuster…
Well, well, well: perhaps Marinette Dupain-Cheng hadn’t simply “followed” Ladybug’s hairstyle after all. The lines of her face suddenly seemed so very, very familiar- and there was an obvious hot button to press to confirm his suspicions. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked if Ladybug were less agitated, but here and now after *years* of mockery and frustration boiling over- it was easily worth a shot.
“Maybe, but Felix probably wouldn’t tolerate you sniffing him and taking his hair like some kind of-”
Instantly the smug spite vanished from Ladybug’s face, and she threw her hands down, trembling with the offence of the accurately accused; “I THOUGHT YOU WERE A STATUE!”
Ladybu- *Marinette* raged in all her petulant glory as the glamour broke.
Suddenly a lot of things made sense in hindsight.
And most of them were disappointing.
But that was something to unpack later. For now;
Ladybug seethed, “are *you*?”
“I could be,” The Magician sipped his tea. “… One month.”
Ladybug stalled for a moment in confusion, her mind having been clearly on the petty back and forth.
He continued, “December. I can be *done* for one month, every year. Maybe more.”
Ladybug glared at him; “define *done*.”
“No retribution, no magic or other moves against you, no fun little surprises from me for you or your kin, and vice versa” The Magician explained, “a true Christmas truce, as long as you and yours are willing to *extend* the same courtesy.”
“Oh *really*?” Ladybug snorted, “after five years of *this* you’re calling it quits now? *Seriously?*” She sneered, “you think after all the shit you pulled, putting hits on me with *fucking fairytale creatures*, the curses,-”
“I do my best to make an impression.”
“-the public *humiliation*-”
“I have a collage of the highlights-”
“-and *breaking my hands*-”
Something vicious arose for a moment; “a claw for a claw Marinette-”
“-you can just *kidnap me and call it all off*?” Ladybug’s lips peeled back as she grit her teeth in sheer *hate*.
“… well, more or less.” The Magician shrugged. “For at least this part of the year-”
“*Or*,” Ladybug interrupted yet again, eyes narrowing as she pressed her hands together. “Or maybe you get back in our little box and *stay there* so you can be done all.
Looooonnngggg.” She drew out the word like she wanted to savour the idea. (Which, from the mad glint in her eye, she really did). “You know, opposed to me just *taking the word of a terrorist* that he’s going to take the holidays off!”
“Oh *little bug*,” The Magician smiled and released the thermos and cup to pull off his top hat. “After everything that’s happened between us, you don’t seriously think I would bring *trust* into this do you?”
He pulled out a scroll from within his hat’s wonderfully physics-defying interior, and unravelled it with a flourish. It whipped towards Ladybug, causing her to reflexively try and evade it- but she had nothing to push against and just flailed as the scroll came to stop in front of her.
“From the dawn of the first day of the last month…” Ladybug quietly muttered to herself as she read the thing. “… No violence, or steps to take violence….”
The Magician waited while she read, finally when she raised her eyes to his; “it’s a contact, magically binding. If either one of us breaks the terms, the listed penalty applies-”
“… He who answers to the name Krampus shall imprison the offending party for no more or less than *one month*!?” Ladybug gasped, “seriously Adrien-”
“We can’t die in here Ladybug.” He folded his arms. “It’s a perfectly reasonable penalty-”
“You’re really selling this.” Ladybug deadpanned.
“- there’s also an option to limit our little ‘meetings’ to one day a month for the rest of the year-”
“-can’t handle the heat Adrien?”
“-And include the terms to the rest of your team and their families, if they are so interested-”
“-Oh I *bet* they’ll just line up for this!” Ladybug sneered. “We’d be letting a villain go free, and risking our Miraculous being unavailable for real threats!”
“Subsection A:5 allows you hand over any important objects to a chosen representative in the event of a disaster.” He pointed out. “A:6 will also allow you to exit imprisonment early if you forswear-”
“Further use of the Miraculous, magic and superpowered activities for the remainder of the month- blah blah blah ,*blah*, Ladybug rolled her eyes. “And let me guess, you’re not letting me out until I sign it?”
“At least the basic version.” Nathan confirmed, and took a sip. “Are you sure you don’t want tea?”
“He heh, haa…. Do you really think this is going to work Adrien?” She folded her arms and laid back with condescension. “I have an entire team outside. The best Miraculous heroes who ever lived, with more powers than any other hero team combined. I don’t care *how* much you powered up Bad Santa here- they’re going to *stop him.
And when they do?” Ladybug smiled with all her teeth. “You’re all ours. But *don’t worry*,~~ we’ll take *good care* of you~~” she switched into slickly sweet false assurance, “~~we so missed out little *pet*~~ you’ll *never* have to work a day again!”
She clasped her hands together, “we have all the dry cat food you could ever *want!” She mimed chewing, “*mmmmmmnn*~~”
She likely would have continued her petty pantomime, but suddenly a green form fell in between them with a shout.
“Hi Luka,” Nathan cheerily greeted the musician, who was being drawn to Ladybug by some invisible force. “Tea?”
Viperion, now floating upright blinked rapidly as he took in the situation, “… Adrien? Where-”
“We’re inside Krampus’ bag. *He’s* behind this, he set up Krampus to trap us in here and make me sign *this*” She waved the contract. “So he could have the holidays off-” she glared at him “*but it’s not going to work*.”
“Oh I think it might,” the magician calmly sipped his tea. “Two down Ladybug, how soon before it’s three?”
“That would still make sixteen heroes to one *fat man with a bag*,” Ladybug smirked. “I like those odds.”
To be fair, that *would* be the obvious answer almost anyone would come to.
However Nathan was also capable of basic logic, and had made a point to not only enhance Krampus’ already substantial abilities, but to add a few other abilities for the duration of the ‘negotiations’. He was no Nooroo by any means, but he could certainly *make* a few charms that could empower the wearer for a day or two- and with specific counters to the more directly effective Miraculous.
And from the looks of things, he’d made them *very* well.
One by one, heroes fell into the bag.
The Pig heroine’s Gift had clearly had no more effect than the frustrated Fox’s illusions.
The Horse hero’s portals failed around Krampus, and failed again to make an escape from within the bag.
The Rooster yelped as they dropped in, but the Bee said nothing as her face twisted in sour acceptance.
At first Nathan gave each one a unique greeting, but he got bored so he quickly developed a boilerplate:
“Hello, you’re kidnapped until further notice. The bag stops your magic, but feel free to try to escape. Ladybug has the release conditions, go bug the bug if you want out sooner. Tea?”
For some reason, they never wanted to accept his hospitality.
And with each new prisoner Ladybug’s smug confidence shrunk a little.
By the tenth hero, she was visibly worried. Sure, the heaviest hitters like the Butterfly and Rabbit were still free and probably beyond Krampus’ reach, but she was only losing leverage the longer they stayed in the bag- or so it seemed to her. She had her circle of minions, but they couldn’t actually do anything from within the bag.
Her chances of escaping or someone else stopping Krampus were only falling as time went on, and Nathan?
He was just fine waiting. At least for the next day or so.
After that his charms would start degrading down on their own, or they’d break down under stain of use before that- but no one else on her team knew that. All he had to do was maintain his nonchalance, and Ladybug would never know he was on a timer as well.
(Unless Felix or the rest of the still free heroes cottoned onto the charm’s weaknesses, but from how long the battle had been going on- it didn’t seem likely that would happen. Looks like leaving all your thinking to one person with a magic hint system to help her had its downsides!)
“Does anyone want snacks?” He fished around in his hat, “I’ve got chips, biscuits-”
“Alright, more for me then,” he pulled out a packet of crisps.
“No, seriously-” Ladybug scowled and pointed off to the side. “We want to talk this over in *private*, so tell Krampus or whatever’s making us to float to put you over someplace else.”
“Oh!” Nathan cheerily exclaimed, “well, I would be a rude host if I eavesdropped! I’ll just swim on for a bit then!”
Ladybug and her minions stared as he stared backstroking in mid-air, and somehow started moving away from the group.
(Being the one to set things up had its privileges!)
Once he was suitably far away, he steadied himself on the imaginary waters, pulled a pair of fuzzy earmuffs from his hat, clamped them over this ears and gave the far away Ladybug a thumbs up- which she returned with a rude gesture.
He stayed there for a little while, contemplating the situation as Ladybug’s little squad formed a ring and debated.
They were probably trying to think of a way to get out of the bag. But honestly, he didn’t think they stood a chance. They *all* relied almost exclusively on the power of their Miraculous to handle supernatural situations, so even if they detransformed they probably didn’t have any tricks or tools up their sleeves. *Maybe* if Max was still Pegasus and Markov ready there, but that wasn’t the case now was it?
(He still had a loaded Glock in his hat just in case. He’d take another six months for a reset over Marinette’s bargain-tier petfood thanks.)
He was wondering how Felix’s team was doing outside when he noticed that the group huddle had parted, and Ladybug appeared to be signalling for his attention via dual middle fingers.
“Ah!” He returned the muffs to his hat as he floated over (the swimming motions had- of course- been entirely for his own amusement. Because why not?). “Have we come to a consensus?”
“Enough is enough.” Viperion spoke first, “if this is real, then we want to keep this ‘fight’ contained. Eleven days a year are more than enough for that.”
Oh they were actually going for the extended option: this was more than he’d hoped for. One day a month where he battled the bug and he could actually do *something else* for the rest!
“*And* we want birthdays and holidays exempted as well,” The Bee spoke first. “No more *surprises* on those days.”
His smile grew wider, but he was cut off before he could respond.
“-unless we catch you.” Ladybug’s tone was cold as ice. “Unless we stop you. And we *will* stop you Adrien. I don’t care how, and I don’t care how long it takes.” Her eyes seemed to *burn* with blue hate as she stared at him. “You *will* lose, and this time you won’t escape justice.”
She seemed to think she was intimidating.
“Oh, did you practice *that line*?” He tittered, “be honest, how many times did you go over it before it was *just right*?”
Her face twisted in rage, but she was drawn back by Viperion before she could be drawn in by his bait.
Nathan caught the rolled-up pact before it smacked him in the face,
“Just add the stuff to the fucking contract before we change our minds,” The Bee growled.
In the end, the details were more or less what were discussed:
December was exempted entirely.
The birthdays and holidays were specified down to French public holidays, and *only* the birthdays of the current Miraculous holders, and future holders who had held one of the existing Miraculous from the Mother Box for a minimum continuous period of one month were exempted. If any of the current roster retired, lost their Miraculous, or public holidays were added or removed, the exemptions would be accordingly modified.
The days of allowed conflict were restricted to one day a month, and did not stack if for some reason neither side sought conflict for a month. The day was considered to begin the second a member of either party engaged in direct conflict with each other. This included all forms of magic, mundane assault, and directing allies and other entities to effect the other party. If the day extended past the twenty-four hour mark, all members who were still actively pursing direct conflict would be considered in breach of the agreement.
If Nathan were to be captured, arrested, or otherwise incapacitated by the actions of Ladybug or her allies for a period of time exceeding the twenty-four hour limit, neither it or any actions taken during the duration would not be considered a breach of the agreement. Neither would be any attempt by Nathan to escape or otherwise change those circumstances. They were allowed to pursue him if he escaped, but if he’d remained free for a continuous twenty four hours then the usual rules resumed.
There were a few other minor details and clauses, but the basic rules of their little war were finally clear.
And thus, after years of petty unrestrained conflict;
The Krampus Accords were set.
Needless to say: Nathan was the one who got to name them.
The last few days of Christmas were spent in hiding, the last time he would need to (hopefully) with the new accords, but they wouldn’t come into effect until the first of January.
Nathan put them to good use.
True, there might be more added to it in the future, but these were what he felt were the best.
To left was the iconic image of Ladybug’s legs sticking of Krampus’ bag.
Above was an image of her faceplanting into the ground that first night he’d turned into cats on her. Below, was the moment when she attempted to murder him via Lucky Charm Punching Glove, and was comically dumbfounded as eight cats pounced away instead.
To the right was her outrage as the Easter Bunny booted her via her booty off a rooftop.
But the centre still had to be that classic picture of a staring Ladybug, with eyes bulging with sheer frustration and bearing a nose reddened by Jack Frosts’s chill.
He was tempted to throw in a few others, there were images of other humiliations. Of other teammates getting made fools of. But these were the core of his collection.
And now, as the new year finally ticked over, it was time to start moving beyond just survival.
He put his phone away with a smile, and tapped his room’s mirror, causing it to turn to something like shimmering mercury.
“Right. No more cat and mouse, as much fun as it was” he stood up straight, and adjusted his hat. “Our game rules are set little bug, now it’s time to find a *win condition*.”
And like that, he disappeared into the arcane corridor. No longer merely pursuing another day under the sky, but victory to end the war between himself and Ladybug.
