Nya

what I expected: orange juice

Inviting friends, family, and “lovers of crepes from far and wide,” local man Mark Kovac, 53, held a gathering Friday to celebrate the grand opening of the single worst financial decision of his entire life.

Lulu’s Crepes, which 10 months from now will be referred to by a loan officer as the sinkhole that devoured all of Kovac’s liquid assets, marked the occasion with complimentary food, sparkling cider, and a raffle to win a French-style beret. The café officially opened its doors to the public this week, serving both breakfast and lunch in a part of town that Kovac will soon learn is not as “up and coming” as a real estate broker led him to believe.

It makes me feel like this

Like I need people to understand the mental image here of a multimillionaire internet creator personally overseeing DVD production in his own house like he’s running an underground bootleg operation out of a basement in 2007.

It’s weirdly charming because there’s something very “old internet” about it, this energy of “I made a thing, and now I will physically hand it to people myself like an artisan at a craft fair.”

The man really said: “The future of cinema is me standing next to a humming disc burner at 2am”