Abby

Sorry for my last post guys ive just been thinking! Dont worry abt me im fine and its not anything like illegal or horrible or anything its just how my brain is processing my actions!!!!

I am sick in the head i know I am unwell yet I have no intention of getting better. The thought of hurting myself in ways that arent physical sends a shock throughout my body. My breathing gets heavy as I stare at what I know isn't good, yet the fear in my brain does not amass a response in which I need to stop, rather it tells me to keep going. It'll be okay. If the hurt comes from another its not your fault. It's never your fault. Let them do it, as when they do it and not yourself, it makes it so your blood isnt on your own hands. It feels good, so good, it makes your head fog up and your decision making skills disappate. Maybe it's love, a love for the need to be wanted no matter what. For someone to fix what has been wrong in your brain for years. I dont want to get better, as this is easier, and makes myself feel okay. I know its bad, yet I don't think I ever want to stop.

Six seven mentioned in a fanfic im writing i love modern aus this is so stupid