ur local real life kenku

if you were the toriel cosplayer who gave me a blowjob at dragoncon, PLEASE inbox me. i think you took my wallet. it looks like an NES

been working on collapsing harry styles and timothee chalamet into one celebrity entity in my mind to make room for more important stuff like the locations of nuts that i buried before winter

by the way i'm the reason why they send weathermen into hurricanes and shit. "it's needless and dangerous!!!!!" i don't care. every day i call into CNN and demand they send their most pathetic newscaster into a storm to watch them be knocked down by wave and wind and they sigh and say yes ma'am. and i do this all for nasty, sexual purposes, if you were wondering.

my favorite part of this post is people started tagging it with names of characters i've never heard of so i got curious and googled them and like a third are just tagging it as their local weatherman. very funny.

I hope they have a “call-before-you-dig” hotline in Baldur’s Gate because if you even think about getting a basement your whole house just plummets straight down into whatever ancient crypt or murder cult headquarters or demonic ritual enclave happens to be in your zip code

official fish post