iris

something in ellie’s stomach curdles, sour and demonic. the plate of food in front of her is untouched, save for jesse reaching over and stealing some of her soggy fries. 

ellie’s only half-paying attention as jesse, dina, and henry are busy detailing their bucket lists for the summer, but from what she does gather, jesse wants to beat his own record at the climbing wall, and dina has an elaborate strategy for shadysiders to win at capture the flag.

“what about you, el?” henry asks after explaining his plan, something to do with taking his brother for his first overnight canoe trip now that he’s old enough.

in the beat of silence that follows, he peers over dina’s shoulder to check where ellie had been staring for the past ten minutes, and everyone follows.

“cool jersey,” henry compliments, even though there’s no way you can hear. “very glen lantz in nightmare on elm street.”

“this isn’t a fucking movie, henry,” ellie grumbles. 

“she’s right. serial murders in shadyside aren’t caused by an evil spirit that attacks kids in their dreams; usually, it’s just regular people,” jesse deadpans, to which dina rolls her eyes. 

“i mean, it seems that way if you believe the police reports —”

“anyways,” dina interrupts before henry can go into his familiar shadyside is cursed rant. she leans in like she’s telling a secret, eyes locked on ellie. “i wouldn’t worry about it, el. last time i checked, she said things with anderson weren’t serious.”

“must be pretty serious if she also signed up to be a counsellor for the entire sum–– ow!” jesse shouts when dina’s foot collides with his shin.

you glance up in that moment, first at jesse, but then your eyes drift towards ellie like a moth to a flame. you start gnawing on your bottom lip like you always do when you’re caught in a lie. a drop of blood emerges, and you swipe it away with your tongue.

that’s when ellie finally forces herself to look away.

you’re pretty sure ellie williams will be the death of you.

rewind to a few moments ago, and you managed to convince yourself that maybe, just maybe, things wouldn’t be so bad after all; that things could be like they were before, starting with the first night beach bonfire tradition. frankly, you weren’t even going to show up this year, but your younger brother was persistent.

“you can’t let a messy lesbian breakup keep you from having a good time this summer," lev had pointed out, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. "please? for me?"

there's not much you wouldn't do for lev, so there you were at the bonfire, dizzy on sugary smoke and cheap alcohol. you recognized most of the counsellors, and it started out as the type of night that would burn golden in your memory: warm, familiar, comforting. you were more than happy to catch up with your old friends after all this time. cat demanded you give her a tour of your new tattoos and you asked for one in return; you and henry gushed about the newest wes craven movie (slashers are so back); you roasted marshmallows with lev and jesse, until dina asked for your help as she stumbled to remember a song on joel’s guitar, which happened to be one ellie had taught you a few summers ago.

ellie, who, understandably, kept her distance, but whose sharp gaze you felt while walking dina through each note perfectly.

the night grew darker. people started to trickle back to their cabins, and soon enough, it was only henry, dina, jesse, ellie, and you who were left sitting around the dying fire.

“lighter?” dina asked the group, words slightly muffled by the joint tucked between her lips.

you’d just gotten a new one —a plastic bic lighter, bright red and disposable — from 7/11 when abby stopped for gas on the way here, which you tossed over to dina. she tried to light the joint, but the lighter clicked uselessly once, twice, three times, without so much of a spark.

“ugh, god, just pass it here,” ellie groaned.

she lit it effortlessly, of course. you’d barely said a word to each other all night, but you couldn’t help but stare at ellie through the firelight and take in the familiar details of her hands: chipped green nail polish, old friendship bracelets and frayed hair ties, a dinosaur-printed band-aid on her thumb, and the firefly stick-and-poke tattoo you’d all gotten from cat the first summer you were counsellors.

ellie kept playing with the lighter, flicking it on and off, as the joint made its way around the circle. it wasn’t until you’d burned through one and dina pulled out another for her to light that you noticed the zippo wasn’t ellie’s, but yours — silver and engraved with your sun sign constellation.

“you know, i’ve been looking for that lighter for months,” you said without thinking much of it. “thought i lost it.”

that’s when something in the air shifted. ellie snapped the lighter closed while she took a slow pull of the joint.

“nah, you just left it behind with the rest of your trash,” she finally replied with an exhale of smoke. 

the marshmallow jesse was roasting dips a bit too far into the fire and bursts into flames.

“what is that supposed to mean?” you manage, trying to keep your voice steady.

“i’m sure you can figure it out.” ellie shrugs, feigning non-chalance in a way that makes your blood boil.“where’s goldilocks, anyways? sleeping, or just didn’t want to hang out with your degenerate friends.”

“i don’t think of you guys like that.”

ellie scoffs. “could’ve fooled me.”

for a few seconds, everyone is silent. the fire crackles and a loon wails in the distance. when you were kids, you used to pretend they were werewolf howls and imagine scary stories about them around the fire.

finally, dina clears her throat.

“okay, guys, maybe it’s time to call it a night —”

“if you have something to say to me, ellie, then say it,” you interrupt. it’s late, and if she’s drunk enough to pick this fight, then you’re drunk enough to not back down. you take another sip of your lukewarm beer and add: “don’t do that ellie thing where you bottle everything up because you’re too fucking scared to face it.”

“better than doing that y/n thing where you just run away,” ellie snaps.

“dina’s right,” jesse tries. “you guys obviously have stuff to work through, and now’s not the time.”

“you’re the one who broke up with me, ellie. not the other way around,” you point out, completely ignoring jesse.

“because you transferred to sunnyvale u —”

“which is literally a 30 minute drive away —”

“it might as well be the goddamn moon, and you know it! you sold your soul to the devil the second you accepted that fucking offer without telling anyone. ”

“oh my god,” you laugh humorlessly. “you’re so dramatic!”

ellie shakes her head. “and you’ve always been so ashamed of who you are.”

“you have no idea what you’re talking about. don’t pretend to know my story, ellie,” you retort through clenched teeth, fingers tightening around your beer bottle. you stand up, ready to get the hell out of there, but ellie gets up to block your path.

“you think i don’t know your story?” ellie taunts, her green eyes flickering something dangerous.

“let me go, ellie,” you growl.

“i mean, it is shadyside history after all, right guys?”

“jesus, ellie. stop it,” henry warns, but ellie just doubles down.

“mommy was a killer and daddy’s a drunk! so fucking what? that’s life around here! we’ve all been given a shit hand, but most of us deal with it instead of abandoning our friends, our families, our girlfriends —”

“and that’s the choice you all made! i’m sorry that i didn’t want to waste my 20s rotting away in murder capital usa, waiting for the day my life becomes a fucking headline!”

the sound of glass shattering punctures the air. it isn’t until you feel liquid, warm and thick, slick your palm that you realize you’re the culprit, with a broken bottle at your feet and shards of bloody glass in your hand.

“holy fuck — have you always been that strong?”

“not the point, jesse,” dina groans. “y/n, are you hurt?”

“i’ll go grab some band-aids from the infirmary,” henry offers.

“i’ve got it, henry,” ellie murmurs, dropping the joint and tucking the lighter into the pocket of her flannel shirt. she pulls out a small flashlight instead, then gently grabs your hand to inspect the wound, the skin of her own palm rough, but familiar. you know for a fact that the pockets of her cargo short are stocked, and she’s probably got an entire first-aid kit on her right now. “i’ve got you,” she says to you, eyes shining burnt emerald in the firelight. “just breathe for me, baby.”

“i’m fine,” you rush, breathless at how tender ellie is with you now compared to a few moments ago. and how fucking dare she call you baby. “i’m fine. i’m just gonna head back to my cabin.”

ellie blinks at you. “but….you’re bleeding.”

“yeah, well.” you bite back a wince as you pull away. ellie looks at you like you’ve just driven a knife through her chest. “you said it yourself, ellie. that’s just life around here. i’ll deal with it.”

you leave without another word, out into the darkness and further away from warmth.

you practically collapse in your bed when you get back to your cabin. face first, ready to scream into your pillow…..until you feel a hand reach for your shoulder. your entire body jolts, and you reach for the switchblade on your belt.

“it’s just me, babe,” abby laughs nervously, shifting underneath the covers, hands up in surrender.

“shit, you scared me,” you breathe while putting the knife away, heart still pounding as you get up to change. “didn’t want to sleep in your own cabin?”

“nah, your spiderman sheets are just too comfortable,” she smiles and watches as you slip on an oversized shirt. “how was the bonfire?”

you sigh deeply, exhaustion settling into your bones as you join abby in bed. you throw your leg over abby’s hips, and she grabs your lower back to bring you that much closer.

“bonfire was okay. uneventful,” you lie. you place a hand on abby’s freckled cheek, wanting to close the space between you, to indulge in a harmless distraction, but that’s when abby notices your hand, freshly bandaged after a stop at the infirmary on your way back.

abby takes your hand in hers, frowning. “what happened?”

“ellie,” you clip, and a shiver runs through you.

“ellie?”

“well, not really,” you admit. you start playing with abby’s braid, hair soft underneath your fingertips. “we argued, and things got kinda heated.”

“is it a cut? a burn? did you disinfect it before —”

“easy, dr. anderson,” you say. “i’m okay.”

“are you sure? because i can double check —”

you roll your eyes playfully. “i might not be a med student, but i do know first aid.”

“i knew i shouldn’t have let you go on your own,” abby huffs. “if ellie ever tries to hurt you again —”

“you’re adorable, but there’s no need for….all that,” you chuckle. you run your thumb to soften the crease between abby’s brows, then place a kiss there. “but if you do wanna play hero…..”

“yeah?” abby tilts her head. “what can i do for you?”

“i’m injured.” you fake pout and abby slips her hands underneath your shirt. “kiss it better?”

and abby does precisely that.

“you taste so good,” she groans, wet lips brushing against yours before she starts kissing down your body. “so fuckin’ sweet.”

“it’s – ah.” abby reaches the wetness between your legs, runs her tongue between your folds, and your mind starts wandering. “i-it’s the s’mores.”

well, i want s’more.

her voice — ellie’s voice — suddenly becomes clear in your mind. you can’t remember if it was something she said, but you’d been here with her before — in this cabin, underneath these sheets. she would say the cheesiest, somewhat unhinged, and borderline cringey things in the heat of the moment. but you loved that about her, how she was always clumsy and nerdy and so, very, endearing. she made you laugh almost as hard as she made you cum. almost.

ellie.

ellie…..who fails at hiding her resentment, who lashes out when backed into a corner, but still cares enough to hold you when you bleed.

ellie….who whispers stupid jokes and sweet nothings and tender promises into your skin.

i’ve got you. just breathe for me, baby.

“hey, you still with me?”

a different voice.

abby….it’s abby who’s there lapping at your cunt, her lips glistening and eyes concerned because you’d gone silent, biting down on your bottom lip hard enough to taste copper, and abby noticed.

“no. i mean, yeah!” you stumble and lick away the blood, swallow it down with any images of ellie. you’re just tired and disoriented from earlier. it means nothing.

you’re here with abby, now.

abby.

“c’mere,” you tell her.

you pull abby towards you, crashing your lips to hers with newfound purpose. you twist your fingers into her hair and tug at her scalp so you can start nipping down her neck the way you know drives her crazy. your other hand starts toying with the band of abby’s boxers, her skin warm to the touch.

abby moans when your nails scrape down her happy trail, your fingers brush through her folds. she’s fucking soaked. you bring those same fingers up to your lips, sucking on them. abby watches you, pupils blown wide. she leans in once more, but you get up and riffle through your duffle before she can kiss you again.

“what —”

“i wanna fuck you,” you say, brandishing your strap in all its glory.

“you….you brought that? to camp?!” abby whisper-exclaims, looking around like you’ve both been caught.

you can’t help but laugh as you slip on the harness. “yeah….i mean, it’s summer. we’re here to have fun, too.” you pause, look up at abby. “we don’t have to use it, though, if you don’t want to.”

abby blinks at you, cheeks flushed.

“i didn’t say that.”

you smirk to yourself and finish adjusting everything, rejoining abby on the bed.

“god,” abby groans, spreading her legs for you eagerly as your teeth graze her pulse point. “you’re gonna be the death of me.”

prologue ✎ pending . .

chapter 1 ✎ pending . .

chapter 2 ✎ pending . .

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