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*mom drops grilled chicken on the floor*

Mom: don't move, don't move! You'll step on it!

Me: what did you do?

Mom: the chicken wanted to fly

Break ups are weird, like you use to check your phone for messages from them every hour and now its silent

*mom drops grilled chicken on the floor*

Mom: don't move, don't move! You'll step on it!

Me: what did you do?

Mom: the chicken wanted to fly

#chicken #funny moments #mom stories

There is no "I" in band or orchestra... But there is an "I" in choir

#smacktalk #bandgeek #orchadork #music

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haruhi-akira

It’s early in the morning and I am so eager to draw crappy art.

weeaboynextdoor

during a makeout session

me: fuck, not again

me: why is the what's new scooby doo theme stuck in my head

girl: what

me: nothing, never mind

me, internally: what's new scooby doo, we're coming after you, gonna sooolve that mystery

rubixkun

Suggested by @semercury to draw my favorite Eevee evolution! So here is Jolteon. I was tired when I drew this, which is why this Jolteon is yawning.

So watching t.v. with my brother, he randomly asked me to lick his foot.and I was like Me: "No, I'm not licking your foot that's messed up!" Brother: "its not messed up, its normal."

#family #family problems #funny #situation

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So my boyfriend changed his phone to auto correct sleep to fuck your bitch.....

#text post #funny #funny texts

So I was at work today and got burned from fryer oil today(I work at dairy queen) and someone long ago told me mustard helps take the sting out of burns...but...how did that person figure it out in the first place?

#workproblems #burns

rubixkun

Omg my boyfriend is wearing these stupid boxers with bells on them that he got as a gag gift. He hated them I can’t believe he is wearing them. Every time he walks, he jingles.

rubixkun

I had no idea he was even wearing them and I am staying with him. So he purposely changed when I wasn’t looking so I didn’t know.

feelboss

Is batman a furry

☑ has an alter-ego based around animals☑ has an animal costume☑ knows a bunch of other people with animal costumes☑ has had relationships with these other animal costumed people☑ deeply in character a lot☑ hides his character from his professional life☑ insists people to refer to him by character name and not real name☑ lots of drama with other costumed animal people

i mean…

newtgeiszler

halalbosnian

who am I supposed to invite to my wedding when i have like three friends and dislike most of my family?

slaandere-blog

Hear me out Dogs and cats in fancy clothes

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming