well well well

felix is an interesting character. i can’t deny that. psychologically, he’s interesting. he’s interesting in his narcissism and ruthlessness and it’s fun to think about what made him that way. but.

treating him like he’s just misunderstood or something takes away all the fun of his character! he’s not an anti-hero. he’s not like temple. he’s greedy and cruel and only in it for himself. sure, you could argue that it’s an act, that he’s afraid of death, blah, blah, blah, but it’s not. not entirely. yes, partially, he’s afraid of death. or maybe he’s just afraid of locus. he’s a coward who wants to seem stronger out of....what, spite? hate? anger?

he’s not a good person. he took the chorus job because charon was a distinguished, powerful corporation that had plenty of money to spare when it came to paying him. and before that, he was a bounty hunter; yes, lazano was the only job we saw him take in club, call and consequences, but that’s not the only job he took.  he was shown multiple times in s14 to be volatile, spiteful, and aggressive even to locus and siris, who he was working with, and that was only emphasized during chorus. now. speaking of chorus.

on chorus, he developed a close relationship with kimball (which was then, of course, revealed to be a ruse). he pretended to be her friend, her confidant. he pretended to care about the new republic, when really, he was just feeding information to locus and reaping the double benefits of working for charon and “working” for the new republic.

when he lied about the reds’ and blues’ deaths, it crushed the new republic- lieutenants especially. now, felix had spent time with them. felix knew them, and they thought they knew him. he knew that this would hurt them, and that was all the better for him. keep morale down, make the war last longer, right?

aside from the material gain, this clearly shows felix’s sadism. he gets close to his targets not only to make the kill easier, but also for his own pleasure. he didn’t have to draw the war out that long; the job was kill the colonies, glass the planet, move on. but he- and locus, by association- decided to make it more personal.

felix and locus, especially, have a terribly convoluted, unhealthy relationship, regardless of how you put it. it was a cycle of abuse towards each of them, albeit mostly coming from felix. he amplified and emphasized locus’ mental illness and ptsd, gaslit him, made him feel he was in control when really, he was being controlled the whole time. felix, in turn, denied his own mental issues and made locus out to be the less sane one, even to himself; he lied so much about the nature of their relationship that he convinced himself of it. all this out of fear, out of anger and hatred and too many complexes to count. he damaged locus and even himself far, far more than he ever had to. but i digress.

felix is self centered. take the i’m not doing this for them! line, for example. by now, locus has given up. he knows that they’ve been beat. he knows they’ve got no other way out. and yet, felix, ever the self-righteous one, has to stay. he has to kill the reds and blues, has to kill the freelancers, has to glass the planet for himself- and he doesn’t care if he has to do it alone. it’s not about the money anymore. it’s about him. it’s about not feeling powerful. it’s about not being in control. it’s about not being on top. which, ultimately, is all he wants.

power.

even at the end of the line, as he’s surrounded by the reds and blues and locus, who he’d never expected would be able to snap out of it and betray him, he refuses to yield. he refuses to be seen as less than the best. he refuses to surrender, even if it means living. he refuses to surrender because it means living. because it means living having shown weakness. having shown that he’s not invincible, that he’s not unbeatable. until his last moments.

right before felix is blown off the edge, he cries out for mercy. mercy he never showed, mercy he certainly never deserved.