box of sadness

i AM lonely but not THAT lonely :/

I'm weird :(

Leave me alone, you bastard, you've done enough damage.

Nothing stronger than the bond between a bpd-girl and that unemployed guy.

Yep. Still can barely sleep. Yep. Still have nightmares. But at least i had them on a fresh set of bedsheets this morning. So, it's a little win.

Insomnia goes hard. Is there even a point in trying to fall asleep at 5 am? I don't think so. Is it a perfect time to finally help to ease my depression a little bit and clean my room? I can try.

I'm in such a weird place right now. I'm terrified of going to sleep. I do have nightmares, but not terrible enough to be this scared. It's the time between closing my eyes and losing conscious. That's where the true horror hides. In my thoughts.

I've had periods for 20 years already and I still fall for the mental torment of "the week before" every single time. Isn't it dehumanizing? I hate it.